Sympathy needed - or maybe a kick up the @*se

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SouthWestWhippet

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Ever since that youngster chucked me off in October and I fractured my spine, I've been nervous about getting on unknown horses. I feel tense & I'm less inclined to 'push' an unknown horse cos I'm afraid it might buck/bolt etc. Last night got on 1 of my boss' horses that hadn't been out for a bit. It proceeded to buck and spin, head between it's knees. I sat it fine, and pulled it up... but then I got off it because I was scared. I just lunged it for 1/2hour instead.

Well I'm feelin pretty bad about it now. On the plus side, the doctor said I shouldn't even be riding AT ALL until 3 months after the accident (that would have been yesterday) but I've been riding since about 4wks after it happened. So I'm entitled to still want to be careful yes?

But I know I got off, not because I was being cautious, but because I was scared. I hate it, I feel really dissapointed in myself. I just feel so fragile about my back at the moment. I'm not scared of bucking/bolting... just of falling off and hurting my back again. I'm not even scared about falling off and hurting somewhere else; just my back.

So.... am i being feeble? Or am I legitimate in feeling so fragile? Will this just pass in time? I'm fine on my own horse when she mucks about, but anything I don't know, I just become really shaky. Words of encouragement or general shouting please.
 
I think you have every right to have fears about riding strange horses. You had a nasty accident and you dont want it to happen again. I dont think you need a kick up the a**e at all. In fact i think your brave, if not mad
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getting on strange horses so soon after the accident. I think if you give it time, and take things steady your confidence will return. Slowly, riding more difficult horses over time, some people here will dissagree and say you just need to get straight back on, but im of the opinion that your confidence will grow with every day that you do something more with a different horse, even if its just get on it for 5 min. Horses sense fear and it will not benefit you to just get stright back to it while your still afraid.
 
I wouldnt say that you are being feeble after a "major" incident like that i think i would have to find a quiet as a mouse horse until i got my confidence back! Are you ok with riding your own horse? If so i would just stick to that until you feel more confident! I dont like broncing horse at the best of time but just after that accident you are very brave indeed to get back on daft horses!

Please do be careful as a factured spine can lead to a broken back and paralisis if you do fall off again!
 
Aww - I think the only shouting you need is not to be so silly, OF COURSE you have every right to be scared.

Just give a thought to how you would treat a horse who had had a similar incident in its life! If you had started working on it earlier than the vet's suggested timescale you would take it very slowly, watching for any sign of fear or pain and then take it back several stages to let it get it's strength, confidence and courage back if there were any problems - you'd also be panicking in case the work you were asking it to do might cause it a set back.

So go on - treat yourself as you would a horse coming back into work, start out gently on things that you are confident with and then introduce the scarier, more technically difficult things slowy - until you get back up to the downright terrifying and dangerous!

Be nicer to yourself!
 
I agree, confidence is a fragile thing and I challeng the 'keen' riders here to say that they have never had a wobbly moment. Your circumstances surely mean that your brain is engaging self preservation! Hope you can stick to reliable horses and before you know it you will be back to your previous bold self!
 
[smiles] thanks guys. that makes me feel better.

The thing is that I feel as if I am saying to people
"oh, I don't want to ride your nutter because it is too much of a risk at the moment" but inside I am relieved I have the excuse because I feel scared.

But maybe the fear is actually quite resonable, I am worried because it genuiely IS dangerous for me to fall off at the moment. I will talk to my boss about it and if I feel scared by a bronc-ing horse I will get off and NOT feel stupid about it.

I just hope that in a couple of months I won't feel this way.
 
It might take longer than that, sometimes a brush with potential major injury causes you to reassess decisions you make..you are very aware of the risks now and it is natural that would make you more cautious. That doesn't make you any kind of wimp or less of a rider.

Some things are certain as you get older and wiser - you don't bounce so well and you have more to lose
 
I would TOTALLY feel the same way as you (i dont think many peope wouldn't)and to be honest i think it would take me A LOT to get back on a strange horse again, especially so soon after such a major injury and i am quite a confident rider but an injury like that does make you reaccess things very differently afterwards.
 
Just use your injury as your reasoning, say that your consultant says you can't do too much and have to stick as far as possible to the quietest horses as another fall could paralyse you.

No-one will look funny at you for that.

I think you are doing really well, I've had Asti for 15 years, and I know her inside out, and though she's never done me any damage - she can still scare the pants off me!!! And I rarely ride other horses at all, let alone loopy ones - did all that in my teens being the troublehoooter and rider of delinquents...

Keep your chin up and think of YOU first, it must have been a horrible and scary accident/injury, you just look after yourself chick!!!
 
I think you are being totally brave!!!

I had a very bad riding accident a while ago and didnt ride for a year!!


However...slapped wrists for riding at all when you are not supposed to, I would have waited until doc said it was ok, you only get one back and even normal riding could perhaps delay healing or damage it further perhaps

Only ever do what you feel comfortable with, I have friends who will get on anything and do anything with it, but I choose life!
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You're not being feeble at all!! I MUCH less serious accident knocked my confidence completely and for AGES, I'm impressed you got back on so soon (although St_Bernard is right; it was a bit naughty of you!!) Give it time, don't rush yourself and things will get better. If not, there's Thought Field Therapy, which made a HUGE difference to me (I must sound like a walking ad! Sorry)
 
I would take a lot longer time to recover and start with horses I know and trust and work my way back to riding different but safe horses. To be honest after such a bad injury, I would not want to ride horses that had the potential to be difficult for a while or possibly never again.

I find that now I am getting older, fast and furious nutters are no longer such fun, and I prefer my gypsy cobs - fast and safe.

That said, Chancer gave me a good flying lesson the other day, but then I do expect to have a few more as he is a baby. The thing with him is that he is not dangerous just green.

If you are really worried, it may be good to have someone to help you recover your confidence.
 
Its understandable that you are feeling like this. Back injuries are always worse and so painful. I always think I dont mind coming off my own horse but why should I injure myself riding someone elses.
Confidence takes time but it does come.
 
Well the first time I got back on it was because I was stressing myself out SOOOOO much thinking ' will I have lost my nerve ' that I thought it would be better to get it over with. I rode my friend's extremely quiet, genuine cob round the school and I was shaking LOL. But he was so good to me that i felt loads better and I ended up getting on my horse a few days later (she is pretty sharp so I hadn't planned on riding her for a bit). We started unaffiliated SJ again just before Christmas. I trust her totally, she looks after me even when she is being wild
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My boss keeps saying 'oh, it is taking you a long time to recover isn't it' which makes me feel as if he thinks I am milking the situation a bit and I'm NOT. 3 months isn't very long to not ride and I was teaching again 3 days after I came out of hospital and mucking out stables after 6 weeks. But it puts pressure on me psycologically because I want to please him.

It does make you reasses things though because although the situation with the horse that threw me was bad (he was a backing project who had been messed up before I got him and he bolted on the lunge and went a bit crazy)... the fall itself wasn't partcularly serious.I just went left while he was going right so to speak. It makes me think that something like that could happen ANY TIME with ANY FALL. It was just bad luck. Although I was twisting to stay with him before I came off which probably didn't help.

Sorry, I am rambling a bit now but it is really helpful to get this off my chest to some people that understand what I'm going through. Thanks guys for all the support. I actually feel much better now.
 
You are not feeble at all!! It's called "self-preservation"!!

My livelihood is made exclusively from horses and horse related work therefore nowadays I am quite picky about what I ride. I'm not scared of riding any horse and have had in the past some of the biggest nutters around.....however back then had I injured myself temporarily it wouldn't have been such a big deal.....these days it would have a serious impact on my business therefore I just don't do it anymore.

You definitely change your perspective on things when your whole livelihood is based on NOT getting injured.
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I'll add my [unknown] voice to the "quite within your rights" chorus. It is perfectly normal and understandable to be going through what you are experiencing after an injury like that. I make my living working with difficult and green horses so I know a bit about close calls but also understand that I don't need to justify myself to anyone - if I feel a particular way it's valid and I have good reason for it.

I've also worked extensively with riders who have experienced serious injuries and confidence breakers (I've had at least 5 clients who have broken their backs riding! With other instructors, of course!) so I know that everyone comes back at their own pace. Once you know you're not invicible you can't just put that out of your mind. BUT that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Anything that makes you think more carefully about the risks you take can benefit your riding in the long term. And it can benefit those around you - horse and human - because you can help keep them safe. Yes, riding is risky, but there are lots of ways to manage the risks. Nothing is gained by someone getting hurt. At the very least it's hard to train from a hospital bed!

Different things work for different people. Time is a large part of it but that also means taking care of yourself and trying to build up good experiences to offset your very negative one. Education helps a lot of people, too. Understanding what factors went into the accident and how to control them in the future can play a BIG part in getting your confidence back. One of the worst wrecks I had was because I was in a hurry and feeling pressured to produce to a strict schedule. I learned not to let that happen and the long term effects of the injury, although minor, remind me what a bad idea it is to ignore that little voice that tells you to be careful.

Another thought might be to wear a back protector, at least for awhile. I've found that helped quite a few clients in similar situations. One, it supports your back when it gets tired, which helps you feel stronger. Two, it lessens the chance of reinjury. Three, knowing you're protected even if something does happen can help your confidence, thereby letting you relax a bit, which will help the horses to relax and make you all safer. Wear it all the time, just as a matter of course, rather than just when you think you might be at higher risk so it just gets to be habit, not only to you but to the people around you.

Have faith in yourself and give yourself time to heal. Seek professional help if you feel you need it but mostly, as a poster mentioned above, be kind to yourself. You wouldn't think twice to do the same for a horse or another person.
 
I've thought about wearing a back protector. I did at first but then I got rid of it because I didn't want it to turn into an emotional crutch. I'm not scared of riding - hell I was jumping 1.10m on my horse within 2 weeks of being back in the saddle.

I'm not even scared of riding strange horses if they are good... I rode one the other day who was lovely and I really enjoyed myself. But if they do happen to do anything naughty (buck/spin/rodeo etc) that is when I get scared.

But all these post have made me feel that it is actually OK to feel this way for the moment so I'm going to stop beating myself up about it and just enjoy riding the well behaved horses (and my own crazy mare of course)

THANKS EVERYONE
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