Taking baby to visit parents who have unpredictable dog

[horsemad32]

HELP???!!

Baby will be four months old. Dog's a cocker spaniel and I'm only short so in the sling he'd be able to jump up and reach my baby's legs/bottom. Dog and baby have never met before, and the dog has NEVER been around any children of any age, let alone babies. He was castrated when younger specifically because he was aggressive and bit my dad several times - the aggression lessened afterwards but he has bitten since.

Obviously, I don't really want him in the room with my baby, full stop. Don't think my dad will agree to that though, and I don't really see how we'd manage it, given that my mum has dementia and wouldn't understand, so would just open doors as she felt like it.

He's used to going on sofas too, so would jump up quite happily if I was sitting down with the baby...

 

[wren123]

I am sorry I would either leave baby with someone and visit or insist that dog be in a different room at all times.
Surely if you explain your fears to your dad, pointing out the tragic recent case of the baby killed by one bite of the dog he would comply you.

 

[Archiepoo]

personally id buy a crate for the dog to go into while you visited,you dont get second chances with dogs that like to bite

 

[stencilface]

Agree with others. I would not have this dog in the same room as a baby, either shut it away or don't take the baby around, would only take a split second.

I would be cautious of any dog around babies/children, but one that has bitten in the past would be a no from me.

 

[blackcob]

I'm glad you posted this here as well as MN as you will get more helpful and less hysterical responses regarding the dog here.

Given the other stuff going on (mum's dementia, dad possibly being quite demanding of your time and attention as well, never mind the demands of the baby!) the dog needs to be removed from the equation - off to kennels for the duration of your stay would be ideal.

 

[CorvusCorax]

It's his grandchild, the baby is more important than a dog, end of.

Put it in a kennel/shed, in the car (surely it goes in the car?) or purchase/borrow a cage if your mum might open the door. It's head won't fall off if it is in a different area for an hour or two.
It will probably be less stressful for the dog as well.

 

[stencilface]

It will probably be less stressful for the dog as well.

This, and the fact that if the dog isn't there, you won't be as stressed, and the baby won't be as stressed

 

[Spudlet]

I would echo the above, if you are going to be there, the dog needs to be somewhere else completely. Ask someone to take it on a long walk while you are there, or put it in the car, or in kennels. But do not have it in the house.

Alternative is that your parents come to visit you - without the dog.

 

[horsemad32]

Should've said - my dad wants me to stay as they live in another country. If they lived in the UK, I could go for the weekend, take OH, pop their dog in the garden for the duration.

As it is, I'm fighting the battle to stay nearby (hotel) so I'm not there 24/7. It's hard 'cause my dad doesn't really see how much my mum has lost it, as he's kind of in denial (he still works so thankfully not in the house 24/7 with her), and because the dog has always been a much loved family pet. If you're an adult, he's manageable and it's fine. I have a dog too, and my dad will point out that we let her around the baby, but my dog literally wouldn't harm our hamster, let alone the baby, and is from impeccably tempered parents, is used to children, never bitten in her life etc etc. Totally different situation!

 

[CAYLA]

What everyone else said, if it's a one off visit and you feel very awkward challenging dad incase it gets heated could you ask your OH to walk the dog whilst you have a chat to mam and dad.
Otherwise if you where intending staying over then insist the dog for it's sake and the babies goes to a kennel or home boarder for the few days, I gets alot of dogs boarding here when families and grandchildren visit my clients homes.
I borded a shih-tzu last months as the grandchild was allergic (weather or not that was the parents excuse for getting the dog out, im not sure but they wanted to see their grandchild so the dog went elsewhere.

 

[Spudlet]

I think you have to be incredibly firm, to be honest. Yes, your dad's nose might be put out of joint, but that's preferable to something going wrong with the dog and your child.

 

[AmyMay]

I am sorry I would either leave baby with someone and visit or insist that dog be in a different room at all times. .

This, exactly.

 

[Clodagh]

I think you have to take the upper hand and say the dog goes to kennels while you are there or you don't go. The baby is more important than parents hurt feelings, but I am not close to mine! It is a really hard situation you are in. My mums staffie went for my youngest when he was crawling, she was under the chair and I didn't know she was there. She stopped before she got to him but me and mum had a screaming row as mum said she wouldn't have bitten anyway. To older people I think dogs become replacement children so to your Dad the dog has as many rights as your baby.

 

[whisp&willow]

people come before dogs. I would not have my baby in the same room as this dog, and I would expect your dad to understand your reasons.

No matter how much we love our animals, and feel they are part of our family, humans are more important.

tough situation, given that they are in a different country, but i think you need to make your feelings clear, and stick to your guns. If nothing else, you will be on edge with the dog in the same room as your baby, and the dog will only feed off your nerves.

Good luck, please just remember that your baby is more important than any dog, and your dads feelings! (not that you don't know this already! )

xx

 

[Luci07]

Maybe try a different approach with your father. Point out that he needs to consider the dog and how it will react. If it used to being the "baby" of the household and able to go around as it pleases, it will simply not understand why all the rules have suddenly changed. Use the awful example of the JRT that killed the newborn on a visit and that was a dog which would seem to have no history. You are obviously going to be there for a while as its a trip overseas so be assumptive and say dog needs to be elsewhere. Not sure if the crate would work if your mum is liable to unlock it. Better to cause a bit of upset by being firm upfront, then be a horrible statistic of a dog attack. And point out that the vast majority of attacks are caused with visiting babies where dogs are not used to them.

 

[lexiedhb]

Have you asked your dad if he will keep the dog on a lead and with him at all times (this is what I'd do)? Will keep him in a separate room all the while the baby is about? He may well appreciate what you are saying and be more than happy to oblige.

 

[Jools1234]

my in-laws jack russel was not a very friendly dog and had bitten lots of times, when my kids were young i used to go into the house say hello get said dog and tie her up in the kitchen whilst we were there, they had a shop and the dog was used to being tied up at times, my father in law used to insist the dog would be fine but i really dont see why anyone would take the risk.
my F-I-L let the dog off once when we were there so i saidgoodbye and we left. it was not my house nor my parents but i did not have to risk my kids.
if someone in the house has dementia then i would speak to your dad about your worries and ask that the dog go to kennels for your stay and speak to him about the recent death of the baby over here from a single bite from a smaller dog

 

[Star_Chaser]

much as I love my dogs and they are for the majority child friendly still don't risk a child. I do know people who simply won't visit if they know a dog is a concern which is a shame for the grandparents/parents but understandable.

Good luck I hope you sort something out that allows you to enjoy your visit.

 

[jumbyjack]

It's their house and their dog so they can make the rules BUT they also have to make a choice, sort out the dog or don't see the baby! To be honest I would want the dog in kennels, a mistake could be made so easily with him still in the house. Also it's a bit unfair on the dog to exclude him from rooms he is used to being allowed in.

 

[Alec Swan]

HELP???!!

Baby will be four months old. Dog's a cocker spaniel and I'm only short so in the sling he'd be able to jump up and reach my baby's legs/bottom. Dog and baby have never met before, and the dog has NEVER been around any children of any age, let alone babies. He was castrated when younger specifically because he was aggressive and bit my dad several times - the aggression lessened afterwards but he has bitten since.

Obviously, I don't really want him in the room with my baby, full stop. Don't think my dad will agree to that though, and I don't really see how we'd manage it, given that my mum has dementia and wouldn't understand, so would just open doors as she felt like it.

He's used to going on sofas too, so would jump up quite happily if I was sitting down with the baby...

Where do your priorities lie, with your dad, and the dog that needs to be shot, or with your baby?

Only you can answer that question. I know what my thoughts are, and if you're asking the question, then I suspect, so do you.

Yet again, why people think that castration alters a dogs being, or they believe the vets that tell them so, is beyond me.

Alec.

 

[Dry Rot]

Do a Google for online press reports of dog attacks on children, print them out, and show them to mum with an explanation that you are going to be worried sick if your child has to share a house with ANY dog, let alone their spaniel. Ask if she remembers how worried she was when you were small. I feel sure she will understand.

 

[bex1984]

Fron what you've said OP, you don't really have much choice in the matter but to have a frank conversation with your dad along the lines of if dog is there, baby won't be. It's just not worth the risk. Dog really needs to be well out of the picture, in kennels/staying elsewhere because if a door did get left open, dog got loose etc it could be a disaster. Perhaps reason with your dad that it'd be better for the dog to have a little holiday then you can all relax. At 4 months baby will want to be put down for a kick around and a wriggle, will be experimenting with squealing etc...

Good luck, sounds like it's all part of a bigger, stressful situation for you