Taking horse back off loan

[TheChestnutThing]

2 years ago I advertised for a loan for my horse as he wasn’t enjoying schooling and I didn’t have the hacking that he needed to keep him fit for showjumping. I really just wanted him to stay with me but a lovely lady came along and I let him go on home loan about 10 miles down the road.

I am now in a position where I share a yard with 2 friends and I have an extra stable for him, with the hacking he needs in order for him to jump with me. He adores jumping and has literally been just hacked and pampered for the last two years. His loaner adores him and has taken brilliant care of him. She has asked on numerous occasions to buy him and has offered him a retirement home when he does retire. I cannot fault her. I would like to keep her as a sharer (because she adores him so) but would like my boy back to jump again and have him grow old with me and his brothers (he is in his late teens).

I am super anxious about this type of stuff and I know I will upset his loaner. How do I go about doing this?

 

[Winters100]

Honestly if I had a horse in his late teens, and I was convinced that he would have a good forever home where he was, then I would sell him for buttons and leave him there. At his age going back to jumping is unlikely to last long, if he is living a great life then why upset things?

 

[Winters100]

duplicate - deleted

 

[TheChestnutThing]

Honestly if I had a horse in his late teens, and I was convinced that he would have a good forever home where he was, then I would sell him for buttons and leave him there. At his age going back to jumping is unlikely to last long, if he is living a great life then why upset things?

He will never be sold. That is not an option. At the end of the day he is my child and I am in a position to take him back regardless if his jumping last 2 months or 2 years.

 

[AmyMay]

Give her a months notice and arrange collection.

 

[Winters100]

He will never be sold. That is not an option. At the end of the day he is my child and I am in a position to take him back regardless if his jumping last 2 months or 2 years.

Then I would take him back, but I would not start a horse in his late teens jumping again after a 2 year break.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I took mine off long term loan by messaging and saying “he’s getting so old (30’s) and l feel I need to have him back”
At the time I didn’t live where I do now, in a farm. I had no horses. A horse was a huge luxury.
I found a yard and has incredibly understanding loaners.

 

[Abacus]

The OP hasn’t said what height showjumping she’s aiming at. A horse in his late teens who was capable before, after a couple of years hacking, could certainly jump again to a certain level if brought back correctly. The question wasn’t about this anyway, but about how to go about ending the loan.

As gently as possible is the only answer, with many thanks for the good care she has taken of him. And the offer to continue sharing is a kind one - it might just work out for both of you. But best to sit down, ideally face to face, and be honest with her.

 

[TheChestnutThing]

Then I would take him back, but I would not start a horse in his late teens jumping again after a 2 year break.

thanks for the advise, but I think I know what I am doing when it comes to my horses well-being and training. It will do him absolutely no harm to jump again. And jumping a horse who is healthy and fit in his late teens is far better than jumping any 4 and 5 year old 1.30.

 

[JBM]

The loaner isn’t far so a share could be a wonderful idea where they won’t be too upset!
Personally I’d try to talk to them in person to discuss the fact a stable opened up and you’d like to move him back home but you don’t want them to stop riding him. Express your interest in jumping him again because he had a passion for it but that there’s good hacking around you so you’re hoping it will work for the both of you?
Id just make sure to showcase the benefits for both of you and your horse and hopefully it goes down well!

 

[JBM]

Also my mare had a few years off work and went back to show jumping for 2 years in her late teens and loved it ?

 

[dottylottie]

i’d explain your change in circumstances and kindly express you want him back - the whole point of a loan is to have your horse back if you need/want, so whilst it’ll understandably be devastating for her, im sure she’ll still understand.

i’d go ahead with what you said and offer her the part loan - mutually beneficial because if needs be she could hopefully take him back on full loan again down the line if anything was to come up for you, which with horses and general life it often does!

“hello, i’m really sorry to put you through this but because of x y z i’m able to have him back and would like to do so, but would love for you to part loan him if you wish”

although the lady may want to find another horse to full loan instead - i know i’d struggle to part loan after treating a horse like my own, it’d be a big change to have to follow someone else’s rules so to speak

 

[Red-1]

Although it would be easier on you to text, I would do this in person, or at least on the phone. After 2 years of her taking the best care of the horse I think a text is a little impersonal.

I would perhaps say that my circumstances have changed and I now have a stable and plans for the horse, but I don't want to take the horse away from her completely. I would propose a share in my own yard instead of a full loan in hers, but would understand if that didn't suit her and she preferred to give the horse up completely. I would thank her for all the care and stress how well she has kept the horse. I would then give her time to think about what she would prefer to do, so she doesn't have to make a decision immediately.

A loan is just that, hence I won't have one. I couldn't bear to lose one of mine out of my control. But, she chose to take that risk.

You never know, with the current cost of living, she may be happy with the new arrangement.

 

[ycbm]

I couldn't do it. She's loved him so much for two whole years that she keeps trying to buy him from you and will keep him forever. I suspect he's her only horse. You call him your child but if you felt that way about him 2 years ago, why didn't you find somewhere more suitable to keep your horses then, instead of loaning him? Has something changed with your other horses that you need him back so you can jump?

I'm really sorry this sounds harsh, but you're going to break the loaner's heart. And if you are, please don't do it by text.
.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I definitely would go tell her face to face, she deserves that much. She may well want to loan him but I would expect her to be really hurt and angry as I suspect she will not see this coming ?

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Whatever else, you really must tell her in person.

 

[Peglo]

I agree with the others that if you are definitely sure you need to take the horse back then could you offer the loaner a couple of days a week to ride and pamper horse to soften the blow. And definitely not by text. Maybe meet for a coffee or something.

 

[blitznbobs]

This is why unless it is a defined term (eg i took a eventer on for a season for someone who was having a baby - worked amazingly well i had a fab season and got xc out of my system she had a fit horse to come back to) then loaning is potentially full of heartbreak… but actually it is a loan, it is your horse unless you told your loaner it was forever then she should be expecting this situation one day.

 

[ycbm]

unless you told your loaner it was forever then she should be expecting this situation one day.

I would agree 100% if the horse was younger. I think anyone loaning a horse in its late teens would be reasonable in fervently hoping, to the point of convincing themselves it was true, that after two years the horse was going to be with them forever.

That's why I couldn't do it to her, the age of the horse is a big part of it. Unless of course I had been reminding her on a regular basis that I would need him back at any time I felt like jumping him again.
.

 

[ihatework]

At the end of the day this horse is on loan. You own it and have every right to take it back, however tough it will be on the loaner and however bad you feel.

They way you do this will be key.
In your shoes I’d take loaner out to lunch and break it to them gently, stressing how much you know they will be upset, what a wonderful loaner they have been and if they feel they want to, they can share from your yard.

 

[Dexter]

Could he stay where he is and you just ride him from there? A couple of sessions a week would be enough to keep an experienced horse ticking over. Or do you want him back with you?

I've got one on loan, 16yr old, and sometimes it would really suit me to have him back, but I couldn't do it to his loaner, so he will stay where he is an I visit and get it out of my system, and feel happy to have found such a good loaner.

 

[blitznbobs]

I would agree 100% if the horse was younger. I think anyone loaning a horse in its late teens would be reasonable in fervently hoping, to the point of convincing themselves it was true, that after two years the horse was going to be with them forever.

That's why I couldn't do it to her, the age of the horse is a big part of it. Unless of course I had been reminding her on a regular basis that I would need him back at any time I felt like jumping him again.
.

But isnt that why you loan out a slightly older horse so you get him / her back for its retirement?

 

[splashgirl45]

Please do NOT text this important message, you need to go and see her and discuss what you would like to do, I loaned a horse and had her for 2 years, I really loved her and the owner thought I would keep her forever but due to my physical health I was unable to do the heavy jobs on DIY and couldn’t afford to pay for help. I decided to give her up but made arrangements to meet the owner and tell her face to face, that sort of news is not for texting!!

 

[lannerch]

But isnt that why you loan out a slightly older horse so you get him / her back for its retirement?

No I loaned my older horse out, so I could still keep an eye on him, prevent him from being passed pillar to post ( he was still very handy could compete and jump ) an to give me the final say when it came to the end, so I could always do best by him he went that .

 

[mariew]

If you go ahead, I'd just be prepared for her not to want to share, or for a readjustment in relationship between the two of you as she has managed him as her own for 2 years and have done things her way. That will be hard to unlearn if you are particular in how you want your horse kept and you will both need to compromise, especially if all you want him back for for riding is jumping. I.e I'm guessing that means riding once/twice per week.

I'd take into account time required keeping him fit overall if she doesn't want to share or share goes wrong.

 

[Jenko109]

I think you're bordering on insane personally lol. The horse is approaching the age where he may require more vet bills, cost more to feed etc. What's left of his competitive life may well be short lived. A stable and secure loan home for an old horse is absolute gold.

He is your horse though, so do as you wish. Just be kind in how you communicate the decision as I doubt she will have ever expected this to happen while loaning an elderly horse.

 

[stormox]

Text??? That'd be just awful. Go and see her, have a chat, talk it over..... and be thankful he has been so well looked after. He is an elderly boy, couldn't you just leave him there and ride him from their yard if you wanted to?

 

[TheChestnutThing]

I couldn't do it. She's loved him so much for two whole years that she keeps trying to buy him from you and will keep him forever. I suspect he's her only horse. You call him your child but if you felt that way about him 2 years ago, why didn't you find somewhere more suitable to keep your horses then, instead of loaning him? Has something changed with your other horses that you need him back so you can jump?

I'm really sorry this sounds harsh, but you're going to break the loaner's heart. And if you are, please don't do it by text.
.

unfortunately I couldn’t find a place that suited him when she took him on. I never ever wanted a full loan especially a home one and I did make that very clear at the start aswell and my reasons for letting go on home loan was because the yard suited him better. It’s taken me 2 years to find my own place that is suitable for my horses (I have 2 others). Nothing has changed with my other horses.

 

[TheChestnutThing]

I must say some of these comments are a bit harsh and make me out to be a terrible person for wanting to take my very own horse back. I never asked for opinions on what I should and shouldn’t do, I asked the best way to go about breaking the news.
I also did not say anything about a text.

 

[Griffin]

Personally, I would rather sell him or leave him on permanent loan with his current loaner. Your friend's yard may fall through or may not be suitable long term.

I would speak to your loaner face to face on neutral territory. I would not take her out to lunch because if she reacts badly (and she probably will, let's be honest), she will stuck weeping quietly into her club sandwich, no one wants that. I would go for a takeaway coffee somewhere where you can sit outside, so if she wants to walk away, she can (you may want to persuade her to have an iced coffee or milkshake in case she wants to chuck it at you).