Teaching child to ride; riding school or do it yourself?

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gingerthing

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My 5 year old wants to start riding so booked her in at a local riding school. Her first session was a group lead rein short hack which she loved; great! So booked a private lesson the following week. Fast forward to her lesson. All going well, learning more on position, holding reigns, basic walk/halt transitions - again going well and she enjoyed it.

Her instructor then started talking about practising rising trot, and getting her standing up in the stirrups (she had done a couple of short sitting trots). Daughter was apprehensive as was worried she might fall and IMO was not ready to learn rising trot. She did manage to stand up in the stirrups at a walk however with no worries. At the moment she is quite happy walking round and doesnt want to trot yet.

Halfway through her lesson, her instructor quite bluntly said how she didn't feel my daughter would be suited to her method of teaching, as she likes to get then progressing quickly rather than just walking kids round on a lead rope. And I was kind of made to feel like she was writing my daughter off as a rider, and had given up on her just because she was not ready to learn rising trot in her 2nd lesson.

I'm in a dilemma now as what to do next, as in find a small quiet pony to share/borrow occasionally to lead her out on myself and take it slowly (already got my own but he's way too big) or look around for a more sympathetic instructor that won't push her before she's ready? I'm not forcing her to ride as she has still said she wants to do it, just don't want to overdo it and put her off?
 
I'm not convinced that at 5 you can actually "teach" them at all - it's all about getting them sitting on a pony and enjoying it and then they tell you what they want to do. Of course if you have a patch of grass and a field shelter and can get a steady ancient shetland then you can be completely flexible and she can ride as much or as little as you both like, and I think that's the ideal option (however, you are then probably sucked in for life - which may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your point of view!). If your only option is a riding school then find one that will do really fun lessons with games with a group of them. I think a private lesson for a 5 year old would be quite dull and I can see that the instructor would probably find it frustrating and also perhaps a waste of your money if your daughter just wants to enjoy walking round on the pony.

If you have your own horse, then I say get the pony, and you have a decade of heavenly horsey/daughter fun ahead of you!
 
I did a bit of both, but the other way round to you! We had an ancient companion pony that daughter bumbled around on when she felt like it, which taught her confidence and balance and love of riding without pressure. However, when it got to the stage where she wanted to do more than the pony was capable of, plus wasn't keen on mum telling her what to do, she went off to the local riding school. She did well there for a couple of years, and then there were a few problems with constantly changing instructors etc., so at that point we bought a pony for her and she had a combination of help from me, a local instructor and went to Pony Club.
 
I would agree with tootsietoo, at 5 children should be allowed to pootle around and have fun. Teach the very basics but it's all about learning to balance and gaining confidence.
I worked at a riding school for some time and as instructors we were pressurised all the time to get children into groups Asap as it made more money for the school. We had a massive waiting list as we were the only school in the area. We had a target of 10 half an hour lessons to get a child to walk, trot and canter to be able to get into a group. It was nigh on impossible and we were constantly having to defend our actions to the head girl (who didn't teach haha) that it was unsafe to let these children loose in a group.

ps the instructor who said your child wouldn't suit her method of teaching is an idiot. As an instructor it is your job to adapt your teaching style to suit your clients age, confidence level and ability.
 
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How patient are you. It's not easy teaching your own. Probably the stage she's at it would be preferable (sounds like anything would be preferable to that dragon instructor lol) then you might want her to have lessons else where.
 
Thanks guys yes hit the nail on the head there! I'm not pushing her to ride but as she's shown an interest I want to gently encourage that and see where it takes us. She's tall for her age but not quite big enough for the cob! :) I was expecting her lesson to be more 'fun', and I felt that the instructor was suited to more established older children who perhaps were more ambitious/competitive , yes ceifer after she made that comment I politely paid my money and left!
 
Not wishing to sound condescending. But it's nice that you aren't a pushy parent. Its a different situation but I used to have loads of young children that wanted to come who just wanted to have fun and then I'd have the parent at the end of the lesson saying so and so's child has had 5 lessons and is preparing to go around Badminton next week blah blah blah (ok that's a bit extreme but it felt like that)
 
No not pushy but I like to encourage them to get out and try new things, be independent and see what their strengths are, so many parents compare their children with others but their all individuals, plus it's a waste of money forcing them to do things they don't want to do
 
My dd is 5, we have a pony who is great on LR but doesn't care if he works or not. I take my daughter on little rides out on lead when she wants to, we go up and down hills , she ducks under branches, down and up ditches sits trips and the occasional tiny spook and I never really make anything of anything or let her know it may be an issue, we do little bouts of trot and she naturally starts to rise as it feels comfy and she has seen me do it. I suspect pony will be a nappy little b**ger off lead but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Daughters enthusiasm is extremely variable and she goes months without wanting to ride ( in winter ! ) But pony costs peanuts to keep and came to us as needed a home not for daughter so I shall wait and see if she has a genuine interest and desire to learn. If so she will go to a riding school then, but with a decent seat and a natural balance. I have 3 children - she is the oldest - I can't afford 3 lots of riding lessons so not fussed if not interested !!!
 
JLD that sounds perfect for your daughter, no pressure! Yes I have 3 children too with my 5 year old being the oldest, luckily my boy is super cheap to keep with the exception of livery, a miniature version of him would be a godsend!
 
I'd find another riding school, and then if your LO remains keen through the winter months then look for a loan pony in the spring. ..

My 4yo has a pony and goes to pony club, but hes not keen on riding in the wind and rain so during the winter he only rides once a week..

Fiona
 
Just want to know general opinion about this - I think it is better for children to learn to ride on a "soft saddle" or sheepskin, rather than a hard leather slipperly saddle where they are "on top" rather than with the pony. What do others think about this theory.

When I was learning to ride we could not afford a leather saddle, so I had to use a felt saddle on my 12.2. I didn't realise it at the time, but I certainly learned to balance, and stick on. It wasn't until I was jumping a lot more that I got a proper saddle (and that was a showing saddle!). I have a photo of me jumping quite a decent height fence still using the felt saddle.
 
My 7 yr old daughter is riding her Shetland in a pad saddle as he's a bit fat. She really likes it, although it does seem to encourage her lower leg to slip forward, hunting seat style.
 
My son was older, eight, when he did first lesson. On a lunge, just for 30 minutes. Was doing rising trot by end of it. Perhaps because he felt safe. A sweet-natured pony. And a lovely confidence-giving teacher.
Shame he gave it all up!
 
What about a freelance instructor? What a shame the other RS instructor wasn't willing to be patient.

Every kid I've ever taught has been different, I've got a just turned 4yr old who is a proper wee natural, got rising trot pretty much sorted in straight lines and steering in bits is coming.

On the flip side, I've had 7yr olds who've taken weeks/months to really find their balance for trot, then one day it clicks and they forget it was ever difficult.

I don't agree with a 30m private being boring for a 5yr old, with the right instructor they shouldn't notice the time passing, plenty they can be doing to keep it fun and interesting.
 
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It might be worth trying to find a pony club affiliated stables, you will get the bbasic pc stuff with fun pony days and games involved. If it isnt fun she will soon get bored . have a look on the pc site for local places . good luck
 
Ceifer said:
ps the instructor who said your child wouldn't suit her method of teaching is an idiot. As an instructor it is your job to adapt your teaching style to suit your clients age, confidence level and ability.
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Yes, up to a point. However its also the duty of a good instructor to know when a student does not match them. Few (no?) teacher can teach everyone, though some can teach most people; however each teacher has their own set of tools.
In the end it is far better that when a teacher recognises that a student is beyond or not best suited to their style/methods; that they do indeed pass them on. In something like this where you're not fixed into a single school and can choose from others around its an ideal option when the teacher isn't best suited. Formal schools are somewhat different since there is an element of a lack of choice on the part of student and teacher.




As to the subject of teaching; remember its one thing to be able to do something; but its quite another to teach it. Many people who are highly skilled at an activity or craft can be terrible teachers. Vis-versa many great teachers might not be world class in their subject skill; but they have the skill to pass on what the know very effectively. As such sometimes formal teaching, even if only a little at this stage; can be of great help as a good teacher already knows what to look for and what to teach.

It's also my experience in subjects and learning in general that good teachers often know how to break a subject down into parts very effectively so that each part is taught and not missed out; whilst many who have high levels of subject skill but low teaching ability or inexperience tend to gloss over parts or leave them out entirely. Often they are the "unthought" bits that are done so often they are second nature - so they don't think to teach that part because its so basic to them that they don't have to think about it to do it.
 
Just find a different instructor and a riding school where kids are allowed to have some fun on safe ponies.

I would also be inclined to let her be in a group lesson. I think that's less pressured and therefore more "fun" for a child. Obviously, they must be at a similar level. So she may need a few private lessons first.

I think it's difficult to teach a 5 year-old to ride in a horse-conscious way but they can certainly get a feel for it and build strength and balance. But it's really hard to even give them small instructions if they are your own. I know someone going through this right now and even though she has bought a pony for the child, she's getting someone else to come teach. Family member is even a riding instructor and gave it a go but it's a bit too close to home. The child is better off with an authority figure who is a stranger giving instruction. They are used to that from school...

I don't think learning to rise in the second lesson is that much of an ask but I understand the concern that she might be a bit scared and be put off. With kids that's tricky cause once they are past it, they can be hugely confident. But getting there at the beginning can be difficult just because it's new. I don't like the sound of that instructor regardless. Sounds like she lacks any empathy at all and just won't do a child any good.
 
My son started showing an interest in riding at 4. I used to take him out on my 14.2hh but I had enough of that when he wanted to ride him all the time. We were lucky enough to get a little 11.1hh NF elderly pony on loan for him.

I used to teach him the basics myself and he learnt to do rising trot very quickly. I get him doing exercises in the saddle to help his mobility and balance. I've just let him do it all at his own pace. He's recently joined the pony club and having lots of fun at rallies.

Are you able to get a pony on loan or a share basis? The money you'd spend on a share would probably equate to a lesson anyway!
 
My first thought was, who the heck does that instructor think she is, saying your child wouldn't be suited to "her method of teaching"? That would have resulted in me voting with my feet anyway, and taking my custom elsewhere.

When my kids were young, we lived in the USA and they learned with a lovely instructor, and there was no pressure - at least none that the girls could pick up on. Each time, a little more was eked out of them until, before too long, they were happily bumbling around independently. They loved it, and ended up being lovely riders.

Personally, I could have never taught them myself. It would definitely have ended in tears (all parties!!), so my vote for you would be to find another riding school, unless you have endless patience.
 
Overread said:
Yes, up to a point. However its also the duty of a good instructor to know when a student does not match them. Few (no?) teacher can teach everyone, though some can teach most people; however each teacher has their own set of tools.
In the end it is far better that when a teacher recognises that a student is beyond or not best suited to their style/methods; that they do indeed pass them on. In something like this where you're not fixed into a single school and can choose from others around its an ideal option when the teacher isn't best suited. Formal schools are somewhat different since there is an element of a lack of choice on the part of student and teacher
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I agree up to a point. Every instructor should have the ability and personality to teach a beginner of any age. If I'd have turned around to the owner of the riding school and said a child didn't suit my teaching style they'd have laughed and asked what they paid me for. The only times I've passed on a client is if they have come and asked me to teach them something that is above my ability or experience. Im predominantly dressage trained. I did my A.I so can teach jumping, but I'm not specialised in that field so if somebody wanted a specialised jump lesson I would recommend somebody else. If that makes sense?

Teaching is a real skill and you're right, not everybody can do it. But a good riding school instructor (rare these days) should be adaptable.
 
tootsietoo said:
I'm not convinced that at 5 you can actually "teach" them at all - it's all about getting them sitting on a pony and enjoying it and then they tell you what they want to do. Of course if you have a patch of grass and a field shelter and can get a steady ancient shetland then you can be completely flexible and she can ride as much or as little as you both like, and I think that's the ideal option (however, you are then probably sucked in for life - which may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your point of view!). If your only option is a riding school then find one that will do really fun lessons with games with a group of them. I think a private lesson for a 5 year old would be quite dull and I can see that the instructor would probably find it frustrating and also perhaps a waste of your money if your daughter just wants to enjoy walking round on the pony.

If you have your own horse, then I say get the pony, and you have a decade of heavenly horsey/daughter fun ahead of you!
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I would disagree I have taught many a 5 year old some learn quick some you go slow, I must say as your daughter is only just starting out I would start out raising her confidence to start with make it it fun riding before going to much into serious stuff.
Once she has the fun sorted then add some learning, it really depends on when they start.

That would be my professional opinion.
 
My friend had her own 14.2 retired pony. Her two girls started "riding" him in and out from field bareback. Once they wanted to start trotting they were bought an elderly Shetland pony. They learned to trot and canter on the lead rein and also joined the Pony Club so started jumping on him, their Dad can run fast!!

When the eldest started riding him off the leid rein they bought her a bigger pony. She started on leid rein then off and there was no stopping her. Her little sister graduated to off lead with the Shetland and then had a pony on loan

The Sheltand is still with them and is on his fifth child in the extended family with two more to come
 
The only right way is the right way for your child and you know her better than anyone else. My daughter started on the lead rein on a donkey aged 5, progressed quickly to group lead rein lessons at a RS and very quickly moved on to "proper" ridden group lessons. By 6 she was riding independently and popping small jumps etc but at least half of the kids she'd started with had dropped out of lessons, many after their first fall. For some kids, 5/6 is too early to start as they get bored, cold etc just walking along on a lead rein but get worried if asked to trot! They also develop their physical skills at different times, some early some later. I'm taking my grand daughter to a RS in a couple of weeks time whilst we are on holiday. She did a bit of lead rein last year and liked it but not enough to pester for more, she's 6 now and we're doing a taster session, a 30 mins private lesson and a 30 mins hack out on a lead rein over 3 days, my gut feeling is that she'll she'll enjoy the novelty but won't be fussed if she doesn't do anything else for another year whereas my daughter started nagging for her own pony straight away! They are all different, why not let your child guide you a bit, if she's asking for more lessons find a better RS but if she doesn't why not leave it for a year or two. Those that start riding a bit later soon catch up.
 
I have a 4 year old, she had a couple of rides on a borrowed pony with a friend who is a BHSII and really enjoyed it. I was amazed at just how much she found to teach her in half an hour! Unfortunately we couldn't continue to borrow the pony and the instructor changed career, so I enrolled my daughter at the local riding school. They do Tots Trots - a 20-30 min hack along country road/ through the woods on the lead rein, and with an instructor helping them all as well. They walk, have a couple of trots, learn to balance, steer, etc. With the trotting, they have them trot holding a neck strap first, then one handed, then progressing to holding the reins whilst trotting (they hold the reins when walking).
My DD seems to have natural balance and is loving it. She loves trotting and is desperate to canter!! Even though she hasn't quite got rising trot yet....
She has ridden lots of different ponies which has been really good for her too, and learnt about going up and down hills, ducking for branches etc.
I think it is a really good way to learn, she loves it, sometimes she is on her own, but usually its 3 or 4 of them.
The riding school starts teaching them in group lessons in the school from about age 6, as they say that is the best age really.
Main thing for me is she has gained so much confidence, loves it, and her ability increases every week. They also let her help tack up/ untack, groom etc. which she enjoys too.
She starts school in September, so we will see if she is still keen then.
 
i wouldnt usually recomend teaching your own child (ended in disaster with my son) but you sound much more patient than me lol if i was you i would maybe look for a suitable part loan and start her off with the basics yourself till she has gained confidence then depending on how interested she is maybe buy/full loan one of her own and hire a good freelance instructor
 
I've taught hundreds of kids to ride over the years and five is not to young to learn. I had a riding school for many years and all started with 10 x 30min lunge lessons. We started the lead up to rising trot in the first lesson, teaching kids to stand up in halt, it was used as a game. The most important thing was that the child's leg be held to keep it in the correct place as this makes it easier for them to swing hips forward and over the pommel.
The next lesson, revised standing up in halt and then progressed to standing up in walk.

Then no pressure was made to have child trying to get the rhythm but to just get up off the saddle, working with the child's ability to go up and sit down. The majority of the kids would be rising confidently and reasonable rhythm during the fourth lesson. Even the nervous ones.

Biggest problem we faced are the over cautious parent on the side lines!

All lessons included, games, exercises and were fun, all comments positive and encouraging. We used neck straps, no monkey straps as the tend to encourage legs forward, bum back and tipping forward.

Before going into groups rising trot needed to be established. Children all worked with no stirrups during the lesson, usually accompanied by Simon Says exercises.

Canter was expected to be established by 25 lessons, with no child allowed to start jumping until they could canter (trotting poles in jumping position). Looking at records shows very few falls, we had around 300 riders coming through the school each week.

We took kids from 4yrs on to teach, under that we did pony rides.
 
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