Teaching friends, doable?

[Rebels]

As title suggests, is it ever doable without causing offence? I helped a friend with a young horse this morning, horse was hanging and unsettled in the contact, she asked for advice and i pointed out (nicely) that her reins were uneven. Friend got a bit miffed and defensive, evidently i was meant to recommend an exercise for horse not her! Can it be done?

 

[hnmisty]

Would depend on the friend, and how fussed they were about doing things "properly".

One of my friends at a different university has been helping me out with some lab work there for my PhD. I offered to treat her to afternoon tea at Betty's, but she said she'd like me to give her a lesson on my horse (when I get it, hopefully within a fortnight). I'm not sure if she used to ride or not. I was planning on mostly letting her have a plod around and making sure she was safe.

Wouldn't want the responsibility of teaching a friend who actually wanted to learn to ride. For the reasons you've found. I'd either end up pointing out everything that needed correcting, or nothing at all...

 

[galaxy]

I'm an instructor. I do find it different when I teach people who I consider good friends. Generally if they have confidence issues I find them possibly more wooosy than I think they would be with someone they didn't know (but then, I'm more blunt too )

I taught a friend once who really only likes to hack, but got it into her head that she wanted a lesson. She can ride well, but is a bit sloppy around the edges. I made her carry a schooling whip which she hates as she says she cant work out how to carry it! (bless!) She got so cross with it she threw it AT me! We both wet ourselves laughing about it! ha ha ha!

I think if you teach a friend they have to have in their head you have an intructor hat on not a "friend being bossy/judgemental"

 

[Casey76]

It really depends on the friend I think.

I've had lessons from friends in the past, and have generally not minded criticism.

I have also given other friends "mini lessons" though that was more spcific on how to ride my horse rather than riding in general.

The advice was asked for, I wouldn't generally give away unsolicited advice.

 

[mandwhy]

I think it depends on the individuals. I am a bit of a sensitive one due to knocked confidence and prefer criticisms to be delivered in a fairly diplomatic (constructive) way as I would do to others. As we all know, there are a fair few 'dominant' people in the horse world who are not capable of tact!

I had some lessons from one friend for free, so obviously I was grateful, but looking back she was not the instructor I would choose now. It wasn't wrong or anything exactly, just not my style and she would bombard me with commands a lot which I found overwhelming, couldn't fulfill and then felt muddled and low on confidence. I had my first lesson for years with an actual paid instructor the other day, totally different and much more successful for me, the horse, and my fragile confidence!

I would happily try again with a friend, always worth a try!

 

[Hackie]

Evidently i was meant to recommend an exercise for horse not her!

If she doesn't realise its how she rides that effects how well the horse goes, I wouldn't bother helping her.

 

[FAB1]

I think as others have said it totally depends on the friend - I teach and have taught several friends - most took this well and as someone else said i have my 'teaching' head on when i do.

But one got very funny - not with me so to speak but I gave her a lesson as a favour then she wanted another and another and then one for her son which I did as I felt I should really - then it got to the point where I was helping her all the time and I had to explain I couldn't teach her all the times she wanted - caused a great deal of problems. After that when I did teach her she then took everything I said as a critism of her riding - to which I explained would probably be best if she got someone neutral to teach her and me to step back - were ok now but still not back to how we were not for the want of me trying - but again that was one person - the others I have taught have been fine - and in some cases quite amusing - but it just completely depends on the person im afraid!