tell me all i need to know about boys !

[Shooting Star]

So it occurred to me today that after nearly 20 years of owning horses i've just brought my first every boy and um, well, he's got a bit that girlies don't have ... anything i should know??

I have vague recollections of riding school ponies, buckets of warm water, rubber gloves with too many holes in and a severe lack of volunteers to learn about the essentials of boy horse care

 

[RoobyDoobs]

Don't do anything with it unless it gets errm scaley ....ugh!!!! It's a job I hate doing but good marigolds and a bottle of sheath cleaner seems to be the best solution for my boy.... Easy to clean and seems to stay clean for longer! I tend to do this job when I know there's nobody else about on the yard lol... Always feels a bit 'wrong' if you know what I mean.

 

[nirikina]

There's a very famous article, been re-posted many times on many forums over the years, about "Mr Hand".

Personally I don't bother with gloves, they get in the way. Use plenty of sheath cleaner for lubrication.

 

[nikicb]

I must admit that as a usual mare owner having two boy ponies is little bit odd for me. One of them is clean and fine. The other a bit scaly, but fine and does the job it needs to so I tend to keep away from it. I think that unless there is a problem, nature is probably the best way. I do look every now and then, but nothing changes so I shall continue to be a bit of a prude.

 

[quirky]

I had geldings for 20 years before my mare. None of them ever had their sheaths et al cleaned and they were none the worse for it !

 

[sandi_84]

This is the only thing that i'm not looking forward to with my lad I think Yeucky!

 

[flying solo]

My boy has a pink sheath so in summer it needs cream and cleaned weekly or it stinks!!

 

[soulfull]

They do need to be cleaned !! nature is for stallions not geldings and even then its not ideal
I recommend you build a bond with your lad and keep you eye open for what makes it 'drop' the slowly and gradually touching everywhere BUT there until you can touch it. It may disappear as soon as you touch it so just start again. I find talking soothingly really helps

I use warm water and baby wipes. Once you get there it may only be the easy parts he lets you do to start with. like you would any trust issue, lots of good boys and repeat

eventually you need to lose your hand I haven't got any further than that yet and its been 2 yrs, just never found the need. I do this fairly regularly so it helps

Oh and the smell doesn't wash off very well

The things we do for horse

 

[sophiebailey]

Have only had to do my boys once as he's quite clean I found a squirt of babyoil 'up there' and some over your glove makes things more comfortable for him, and make sure you understand when they show you they've 'had enough' of their bits being probed!! (Watch out for the back legs flailing!!) Warm water is nicer for them than cold

Its easier in the summer as when they relax in the sun and flop it out, you can swoop in and pick off whatever you can see!! Have fun and I would deffo recommend you wear gloves as the smell will be on your hands for days otherwise!!! ;-) xxx

 

[Shooting Star]

oh lordy, help me - what have i done, do you think they'll take him back and swap him for a nice mare??

Think i must have the only horse ever to have a dirty fifth leg listed on their vetting report lol so worried it's going to be sooner than later that I'm doning the rubber gloves

 

[dafthoss]

I have always just squirted a bit of baby oil on it if its looking a bit mankey when he lets it hang out no prodding and sticking a hand up there for me thanks. Thankfully he is naturally clean so it only has to be done occasionally.

 

[becca1305]

Gloves warm water and sheath cleaner! Personally I prefer the surgical type gloves as its easier to clean and no smelly hamds after. Its important to clean inside as well, two of my boys usually have completely clean err winkies, but after a while there will always be a small build up inside so dont just take what you can see as an indicator of cleanliness! One of my lads is easy as ahem food is very exciting, but the others I have to hover and be patient! As others have said watch out for the whiplash tail swish . Boys eh?!

 

[becca1305]

Wrong smiley! Definitely not a job but a job!!

 

[BlairandAzria]

I was in the same position as you, having only had mares until i got my boy last year.....well i read the infamous 'mr hand' thread and various others about it as my boys was looking pretty gross (when i got him he was pretty much a welfare case and had been in field for at least 3 yrs)....i definitely waited until there were no children around ive got some thin latex gloves, sheath cleaner and warm water.....my boy will not drop his out, so i had to delve 'up there'....its further than you think too.... im not going to lie- its pretty euewwww once i'd given it a clean..then i went on the hunt for the infamous 'bean'......well i found it and it was HUGE i had to break it up into little bits to get it out ugh.....but once i got it all out my boy dropped his bits immediately and sighed as if to say thank god thats out!!

I know my boy had not been done in at least three years, so i imagine that it must have been pretty unpleasant for him having that bean stuck up there


So i would say, its not particularly fun, nor particularly pleasant, but its not horrific by any means and once youve done it once it'll be easier the next time.....but really do make sure there are no inquisitive children around, or boyfriends for that matter!

 

[nikicb]

Well. if anyone is willing to come and sort my scaly chap's bits out I will happily provide cakes and tea. He is 19, looks totally fit and healthy and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. It hasn't changed in the 18 months I have had him, so I'm really not sure it's a problem. The next one I'm getting will be a mare.

He's top left in my sig. Just in case anyone is wondering.

 

[RoobyDoobs]

I was in the same position as you, having only had mares until i got my boy last year.....well i read the infamous 'mr hand' thread and various others about it as my boys was looking pretty gross (when i got him he was pretty much a welfare case and had been in field for at least 3 yrs)....i definitely waited until there were no children around ive got some thin latex gloves, sheath cleaner and warm water.....my boy will not drop his out, so i had to delve 'up there'....its further than you think too.... im not going to lie- its pretty euewwww once i'd given it a clean..then i went on the hunt for the infamous 'bean'......well i found it and it was HUGE i had to break it up into little bits to get it out ugh.....but once i got it all out my boy dropped his bits immediately and sighed as if to say thank god thats out!!

I know my boy had not been done in at least three years, so i imagine that it must have been pretty unpleasant for him having that bean stuck up there


So i would say, its not particularly fun, nor particularly pleasant, but its not horrific by any means and once youve done it once it'll be easier the next time.....but really do make sure there are no inquisitive children around, or boyfriends for that matter!

Errrrm I feel a bit unwell.... Apparently I've gone a funny colour!!! A bean?...... . Goes off to look for mr hand

 

[yeeharider]

have had geldings over 40 years now and never cleaned one my boy now never drops his have had him 15 years and only seen the first inch of it he does not even drop it to pee prefering to pee along his belly

 

[BlairandAzria]

ah the wonders of google....enjoy....

MR. HAND-a beginner's guide to sheath cleaning:

1. Check to make sure there are no prospective boyfriends/girlfriends,
elderly neighbors, or brownie troops driving by in sight of the proceedings.
Though of course they're going to show up unexpectedly ANYWAY once
you're in the middle of things. Prepare a good explanation.

2. Trim your fingernails short. Assemble horse, hose, and your sense of humor
(plus, ideally, Excalibur cleanser and perhaps thin rubber gloves)

3. Use hose (or damp sponge) to get the sheath and it's inhabitant wet. Uh, that
is do this in a *civilized* fashion with due warning to the horse; he is apt to take
offense if an icy cold hose blasts unexpectedly into his personal regions )

4. Now introduce the horse to Mr. Hand. What I find safest is to stand facing the
horse's head, with my shoulder and hip snugly against the horse's thigh and hip so
that if he makes any suspicious move such as raising a leg, I can feel it right away
and am in any case pressed so close that all he can do is shove, not really kick. The
horse should be held by an assistant or by your free hand, NOT tied fast to a post or
to crossties. He may shift around a good bit if he's not happy with Mr. Hand's antics,
but don't be put off by that; as long as you are patient and gradual, and stick close to
his side, he'll get over it. Remember that it would be most unladylike of you to simply
make a direct grab for your horse's Part. Give the horse a clue about what's on the
program. Rest your hand against his belly, and then slide it back 'til you are entering
The Home of the Actual Private Part. When you reach this first region of your
destination, lube him up good with Excalibur or whatever you're using.

5. If the outer part of his sheath is really grungy you will feel little clods and nubblies
of smegma peeling off as you grope around in there. Patiently and gently expedite their
removal. Thus far, you have probably only been in the outer part of the sheath. The Part
itself, you'll have noticed is strangely absent. That's because it has retired shyly to its inner
chambers. Roll up them thar sleeves and follow in after it ;-)

6. As you and Mr. Hand wind your way deeper into the sheath, you will encounter what
feels like a small portal that opens up into a chamber beyond. Being attentive to your horse's
reaction, invite yourself in. You are now in the inner sanctum of The Actual Private Part. It's
hiding in there towards the back, trying to pretend it isn't there. Say hi and wave. No really,
work your finger back and forth around the sides of it. If the horse won't drop, this is your
only shot at removing whatever dried smegma is clinging to the surface of the Part itself. So,
gently explore around it, pulling out whatever crusty topsoil you find there. Use more water
and more Excalibur if necessary to loosen attached gunk.

7. When Mr. Hand and the Actual Private Part have gotten to know each other pretty well,
and the Part feels squeaky clean all around, there remains only one task: checking for, and
removing, the bean. The bean is a pale kidney-shaped accumulation of smegma in a small
pouch just inside the urethra. Not all horses accumulate a bean, but the majority do, even if
they have no visible external smegma. So: the equine urethra is fairly large in diameter, and
indeed will permit you to very gently insinuate one of your slimmer fingers inside the urethra
opening. Do so, and explore upwards for what will feel like a lump or "pea" buried no more
than, I dunno, perhaps 3/4 of an inch in from the opening. If you do encounter a bean, gently
and sympathetically persuade it out with your finger. This may require a little patience from
BOTH Mr. Hand AND the horse, but the horse will be happier and healthier once it's
accomplished. In the rare event that the bean is too enormous for your finger to coax out,
you might try what I did (in desperation) last month on the orange horse: Wrap thumb and
index finger around the end of the part and squeeze firmly to extrude the bean. Much to my
surprise, it worked and orange horse did NOT kill me for doing it and he does not seem to
have suffered any permanent damage as a result :-> I have never in my life seen another bean
that enormous though.

8. Now all that's left to do is make a graceful exit and rinse the area very thoroughly in apology
for the liberties you've taken. A hose will be much easier here to use than just a sponge and a
bucket. Make sure to direct the hose into the Part's inner retreat too, not merely the outer part
of the sheath. This may require you to enfold the end of the hose in your hand and guide it up
there personally.

9. Ta-da, you are done! Say, *good horsie* and feed him lots of carrots. Watch him make funny
faces at the way your hands smell. Hmmm ... well, perhaps there is ONE more step...

10. The only thing I know of that is at all effective in removing the lovely fragrance of smegma
from your hands (fingernails, arms, elbows, and wherever else it has gotten) is Excalibur. Even
then, if you didn't use gloves you may find you've got an unusual personal perfume for a while.
So, word to the wise, do NOT clean your horse's sheath just before an important job interview
or first date. And of course, there is that one FINAL step...

11. Figure out how to explain to your mother (or the kid from next door, or the meter reader, or
whoever else you've just realized has been standing in the barn doorway speechlessly watching the
entire process.

 

[RoobyDoobs]

Hahahaha B&A.... I think I'll leave the bean to mother nature! Am pretty lucky that my boy gets extremely excited when given his dinner so he's pretty easy to clean... Oh and when I change his rug... Oh yeah and when I'm brushing his belly lol... He's not shy for sure!

 

[Ladydragon]

Its easier in the summer as when they relax in the sun and flop it out, you can swoop in and pick off whatever you can see!!

That did make me giggle... But I have to say, in the case of my TB gelding, it's a "no way in hell ever am I going to do that"... The vet can poke around at vacc time or something... He doesn't just flop... More of a determined swing, tummy slapping exercise, or just for fun, a "look at me, aren't I clever" bob up and down session whilst lounging against the stable wall...

With the best will in the world I just can't face the idea of handling something so erm...um... 'reactive...

 

[debsg]

I am sooooooooooo glad I have mares!

 

[RoobyDoobs]

That did make me giggle... But I have to say, in the case of my TB gelding, it's a "no way in hell ever am I going to do that"... The vet can poke around at vacc time or something... He doesn't just flop... More of a determined swing, tummy slapping exercise, or just for fun, a "look at me, aren't I clever" bob up and down session whilst lounging against the stable wall...

With the best will in the world I just can't face the idea of handling something so erm...um... 'reactive...

Lol LD you coward!!!!

 

[Ladydragon]

Lol LD you coward!!!!

Absolutely...

I'd not seen a gelding with so much 'control' before...lol Peeked a very fast look under his tail to be sure his nads were gone... Vet was of the opinion that some can even though his breeder (tracked him down in Ireland) assured me he was gelded young...

Playing about with it would just be wrong on way too many levels...

 

[chestnut cob]

I never clean my gelding's sheath, and didn't with the one before either. I used to have a mare who was a vile, disgusting tarty thing whose bits and legs needed cleaning twice a day when she was in season.. geldings all the way for me, much cleaner and less smelly!

My horse gets his willy out quite a lot and it looks OK. If ever my vet sedates him for anything, it always drops out so he has a quick look too and never seen a problem so I leave it alone.

 

[PolarSkye]

Honestly, I think it depends on the boy . . . Kali is . . . well . . . clean in that department. All I really need to do is pick off the crustiest bits when he "drops" and that's it. I did buy sheath cleaner, but I've never used it and he's never been smelly in that area, nor has he ever made a noise. I have friends who have geldings whose boys are rather disgusting and need regular cleaning (lurvely). I know there is a school of thought that the more you clean the more you will need to . . . but honestly if it needs doing (and you'll know if it does - it'll be manky, smelly and if it gets too extreme you'll see gunk on his back legs) then you should do it.

I feel very fortunate that it's the one place Kal is clean . . . he's a piglet in every other way .

P

 

[sandi_84]

Just read Mr hand Umm.... Oh dear god! Why did I not buy a Mare instead?! Icky... eew!

 

[majors]

I always make sure my Oh is watching makes him run when i say you next, my ginger one loves it especially the hose, stange horse

 

[Tinsel Trouble]

I read 'Mr Hand' twice now... feel strangely sick and light headed. After 9 years of not touching I don't think I will start venturing into that personal domain...

There was an older woman on the yard whose pony was suspiciously clean... but she was single!

 

[lcharles]

My lad makes a 'windy sucky' noise which sounds like it comes from behind his saddle when he needs a willy clean!! x Noise = cue Mr Hand!! x

 

[AdorableAlice]

My lad had a reaction to products termed sheath cleaners, ended up on anti-biotics. Baby oil also caused a reaction. He is a dirty creature and even worse now he is on box rest. Exercise helps nature to keep the boy clean.

I find KY Jelly to be the best if the boy is sensitive. I attended my local chemist on Saturday to purchase said product. They only had small tubes so I asked for 4 boxes because it was for a horse. You should have seen the look on the people stood behind me in the queue !!!