Tell me I'm not the only who spends what I haven't got ..!

Stella

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My mare has a truly horrible left canter. She used to have a truly horrible canter on both reins, but we have some progress
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Before I got her she just hunted and it seems she must have constantly gone around with a right bend and a right canter lead! She has a very strong preferrence for this still and even in trot, its a tough job a lot of the time to get her to bend correctly and soften. I am a novice rider (only first sat on a horse 7 years ago) and in canter her way of going makes what little skill I have with the pace disapear and I make her way of going worse. We reached a point where she was just getting tense and anxious about the transition, so my trainer started working with her (well her dressage pupil under her supervision). This has been going on twice a week for a few of months. The right canter has improved dramatically, she is no longer anxious about the transition on the left and her ability (bend, impulsion, straightness) in trot has come on tremedously (I could have got there, but the side benefit of the schooling for cante got us there quicker). However, her left canter is still hideous 90% of the time and there has to be several aborted attempts using 'inventive' aids before the correct lead appears
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The upshot of all this is that I'm stuck doing Walk and Trot tests with her for what seems like an interminable time, since if my trainer can't get a decent left canter, let alone one on the correct lead without fancy riding, I don't stand a hope in hell
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Soooo .... I have decided to leave her at said trainers on schooling livery for May (I'm away for 3 weeks and will catch a few lessons in the week when I'm back). This will os course cost sh^t loads and I am am always living beyond my means and always with an overdraft. Now to me this is just another way of saying that I have a horse, but my hubby is a worrier. I decided to break this plan to him tonight. I was of course considerate enough to lie to him and knock 50% off the true price (in the interest of his mental health). Yet, still I had the "Thats bloody ridiculous" speach
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That was followed by much huffing and puffing and an atmosphere one could cut with the proverbial knife!
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I feel guilty and I'm cringing a bit, but I also know that I'll spend the money in the end on the slower drip feed of schooling and will still be walking and trotting through BD Intro A several times a month by the end of the summer if I don't spend it quicker by doing this
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I'm 49 in a few months, old enough to know that life is not a rehersal, but I don't like upsetting the old bloke and it will be an issue for him until we've paid for it (i.e. June) Tell me I'm not alone, not the only one who spends what she can't afford/doesn't really have on her horse, and in doing so, runs the gauntlet of her hubby's despair!!
 

Bedlam

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I'm assuming your hubby is non-horsey?

I think I can relate.

My hubby asked me a few years ago if it would be a good idea to set up a bank account just for the horses so we knew what was going out on them and could manage it a bit better. I said I thought that was a ridiculous idea.............!!
 

Stella

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I've had her for 4 years, but 2 of those were lost through her health problems and another one was lost due to having a truly useless instructor. I didn't start learning to ride properly, develop a decent seat etc until I started working with this trainer. I had an issue with canter (having been taught badly on school horses and seemed to have an accident every time I tried), so I initially learned canter on my trainer's school horses (she owns a general riding school in addition to her dressage stable). All of that is a long way of saying, four years, but she has only been asked to canter in an arena for a few months!
 

Stella

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[ QUOTE ]
I'm assuming your hubby is non-horsey?

I think I can relate.

My hubby asked me a few years ago if it would be a good idea to set up a bank account just for the horses so we knew what was going out on them and could manage it a bit better. I said I thought that was a ridiculous idea.............!!

[/ QUOTE ] ROFL God imagine doing that!
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imafluffybunny

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I have 3 horses, one of which is in foal, I regularly get the speech 'the day has been wasted on the horses' or 'all our money goes on the horses' I do feel guilty and i usually knock off about 50% of the price of things!
I did discuss selling my main competition horse last year with my husband and surprisingly enough he told me not too because he would miss him! I think men like to moan because they feel they can!!
 

Stella

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Mmmm ....! Mine like to moan because it all seems crazy and annoying to him! He doesn't know my mare to miss her. He's only seen her briefly about 3 times in 4 years and that was under protest
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I sometimes wish he had an expensive hobby so that I didn't feel so bad, but then I remember that we wouldn't be able to afford it
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chriscrogul

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I'm afraid to keep receipts because then I'll have to face up to what I spend! But maybe if you suggest to your oh that he looks at this expense as the equivalent of having you car serviced it may help him understand!
 

LizGooch1

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When i met my now husband he had never set eyes on a horse so for a couple of years i could chose not to inform him about the actual cost of owning one and was careful not to say too much!
However now he knows exactly what they cost (after 7 years of being with me) which can get tricky like when i think i need a new saddle etc, luckily he's not too bad and doesnt mind really!!!!
 

Booboos

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I have a friend who always justifies his racing car expenses to his wife by mentioning my horses! My husband gets pretty huffy, but he is into property development as a side line and that can be a money pit too (won't accept that this is his 'hobby' though, he sees that as 'essential').

Regarding your mare - all horses have a good and bad rein, but from what you say and the amount of time and effort you have put in, I would expect things to be easier for you by now. Have you had a check-up for back, saddle, teeth, etc.?
 

emmah

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I'm guilty too
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My youngster turned out to far too talented for me and has become a little eventing superstar....so I my instructor said you either have to sell her and make big bucks or why not send her to a professional rider to event? So me being soft having owned her since a foal I though I would send her to a professional...well a £125 per week for livery plus entry fees etc later...I am one very skint horse owner living on beans on toast....but I wouldnt change it for the world and love every single minute of it.....my fella thinks I only pay £50 a week...what he doesnt know doesnt hurt him
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KatB

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emmah, your horse is gorgeous! Look forward to seeing her about
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Yes I spend silly amounts on my horse. But is better than spending it all on drink and nights out IMO
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Kal

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Mine tells me that he would rather me have a horse than spend it all on nights out and drink. Although i'm getting to skint to eat these days, and that's when he doesn't like it. He moans saying that i don't look after myself enough.
 

c2b

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So you tell him it's twice what it really is, let him get that out of his system then tell him what the real price is
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I did something similar when I banged the car. Told beloved OH it was probably a write off really went to town with my description.....then when he saw it he went , "oh is that all I thought it was going to be much worse".
A technique I have now used several times sucessfullly when it comes to my mare and her costs
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Stella

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You are all making me feel so much better
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emmah - that sounds so much like me
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C2b - I like your style and I think I will use that on some things, but in this case that would mean me starting out at £1300 and I couldn't go through that
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[ QUOTE ]
I'm guilty too
smile.gif


My youngster turned out to far too talented for me and has become a little eventing superstar....so I my instructor said you either have to sell her and make big bucks or why not send her to a professional rider to event? So me being soft having owned her since a foal I though I would send her to a professional...well a £125 per week for livery plus entry fees etc later...I am one very skint horse owner living on beans on toast....but I wouldnt change it for the world and love every single minute of it.....my fella thinks I only pay £50 a week...what he doesnt know doesnt hurt him
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[/ QUOTE ] Absolutely! I wondered that too. Her teeth are dne every 10 months, her back checked every 4 months and her saddle was checked by a saddler last August and I asked the physio to run an eye over the way it sits on her back when she was out. I'm told that canter will never be a great pace for her. she does have natural rhthym and a great trot and walk though thankfully!
 

franki

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My hubby is into rallying driving so that get me off the hook, thank goodness.

How is your horse to lunge in canter? Might be a way to help her get her pace sorted out before adding the rider. Similarily could you have lunge lessons on either your own horse or another horse and get the feel of the canter without being responsibly for her, so to speak. Even lunge lessons without canter would help your position. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out
 

pinktiger

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[ QUOTE ]
I'm assuming your hubby is non-horsey?

I think I can relate.

My hubby asked me a few years ago if it would be a good idea to set up a bank account just for the horses so we knew what was going out on them and could manage it a bit better. I said I thought that was a ridiculous idea.............!!

[/ QUOTE ]

my husband suggested this last year, i thought as u that would just show how awful my spending was, but to shut him up did it ne way!!! is fab can spend on both accounts!!! and my horse account he cant touch it!!wooohoooo!!!
 

michb52

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Anytime my hubbie asks "how much was that?" my set answer is £20 lol!
He really dosnt ask that often as I rode and competed before he came on the scene and he knows that I will never give up!
Plus he plays football and do you know how much football boots are????? at least £130 a pair and he needs 2 pair a season - imagine - the expense of them
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!!!! lol!!!
 

SunshineTallulah

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[ QUOTE ]
So you tell him it's twice what it really is, let him get that out of his system then tell him what the real price is
smirk.gif


I did something similar when I banged the car. Told beloved OH it was probably a write off really went to town with my description.....then when he saw it he went , "oh is that all I thought it was going to be much worse".
A technique I have now used several times sucessfullly when it comes to my mare and her costs
grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Now that is a strategy I like!

However, OH is now my sharer, so he gets to pay towards the ned too, though he is claiming pauperhood at the moment! Hmmmm.
 

imafluffybunny

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I usually tell a white lie when i am asked how much things cost, luckly i have a very understanding husband but i def encoraged him whem he wanted to buy a kit car! even though i spend much more on my horses, he has something else to concentrate on and spend money on!
 
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