Tell us your funny stories :)

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NicoleS_007

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So whats the most funniest horse related thing that has ever happened to you? Probs been done b4 but lets make a new one ;)

Well i was once lunging my mates horse in an outdoor arena next to the field and it took off and dragged me across the arena and i tripped, done a tombald over and hurt my finger and the horse jumped in2 the field lol was soooo funny

another one with the same horse was me and to other people were lunging in the indoor and it was taking three to hold he and she took off towards the gate every1 let go apart from me and i was running along behind as she rammed through the gate troted across the gate and into her stable lol she was the most stubborn beast ever :P

well im away shopping now so i shall read all the funnyness when i get back ;)
 
Oh god. Where do I start?!?

The time we went hacking and met with the Beaufort Hunt accidently....pink wellies and skinny jeans included!

The time I fell off in front of Oli T....?

Or when I accidently asked out a well known eventer and nearly met up...?

Or when I fell off in front of owners and ended up sat 'posing' it looked on the wall we were jumping?

The list goes on......
 
A close call with Phil, cantering down the field, he spotted the gate, turned on the spot resulting in the loss of a stirrup, flinging my arms around his neck, getting a mouthful of mane and nearly hitting the dirt :o

But the funniest time was on a hack with a friend. We had just reached a park (complete with teenagers playing football, mums and dads with their kids, people sunbathing etc, all on a hot, sunday afternoon) and Phil decided it was time to relieve himself, in front of about 500 members of the public. Cue standing up in my stirrups as he stood and did the longest wee possible. Not content with that, as someone passed behind us and commented "EUGH!" he raised his tail and did a massive fart in their direction :o :D
 
Cantering along a bridle path when my horse suddenly leapt sideways - I came off, but landed standing straight up about a metre to her left. Wouldn't be particularly funny except I suddenly looked up to see a walker about 50 metres ahead of me on the path looking at me in amazement. I got on, said good evening and cantered into the sunset. The walker was stunned into silence.

Or, first to go in a RC dressage team event. On the same mare as above, stopped at X after we entered at A (few years back!). She decided to do a 5 minute wee, which was kind of embarrassing but carried on to do a good test (judge said - 'rather long halt at X!'). The next 10-15 horses that went to do their tests, all geldings, wouldn't halt anywhere near X. Our team did well that day!!!
 
Binky01 said:
The time we went hacking and met with the Beaufort Hunt accidently....pink wellies and skinny jeans included!
Click to expand...

Wellies and jeans? Blimey, The Beaufort are getting a bit informal these days.

As for funnies: Returning from a hack H decided he'd rather like to look into the church yard, I was on my own and in no particular hurry, so I thought what's the harm. We stood at the gate to the church for a while, H looking around and then it happened, he peed, right in the gateway to the church yard, a great big huge long one too :eek: The ONLY saving grace is that no one saw it happen, but I'll bet they wondered what the smell was!

On another occasion I was in the school, under instruction from my instructor / OH. As I cantered him steadily round the school, some friends turned up to watch, we sailed past working in perfect harmony and all was going well until H decided it was downright unsociable for him to canter past all these nice people who had come to fuss him, so as we were about to pass the onlookeds, he turned sharp left and stopped dead. Needless to say, I did neither and landed with a thump in the school :rolleyes:
 
Are you sitting comfortably? Then let's begin...

1. Putting Gwen back in her stable at the RS, she goes in nicely, then I drop something on the floor. Don't think anything of it till I come out laden with tack and I see MY PHONE lying in a HUUGE pile of fresh Gwenny Poo :eek:

2. First proper jumping lesson, went over a teeeeny weeny cross pole, lean too far forward and out I come through the side door, landing right on my bum. Horse just stands there looking at me as, covered head to toe in sand, i jump up shouting 'I'm OK!'. :cool:

3. This picture and This picture being shown to all the parents :o(Hint - look at my facial area... :D)

4. Gymkhana games in the school... Progressing on to racing to one end, handing over horse and roly-polying through the sand, getting to the end, falling over in a heap and staying there for 5 minutes while I recovered. Then trying to stand up and falling into the instructor and taking her down with me :D
 
NeilM said:
Wellies and jeans? Blimey, The Beaufort are getting a bit informal these days.

:
Click to expand...

Pmsl.

In all fairness, it was a weekday meet and we didn't have any choice in turning back...met them head on going up the narrow woody gulley at the top of our farm they were on their way down too! I was on our big 17.3 hunter youngster who's been hunting once before a few weeks prior to this...so he promptly lost all power of rationality!!!
I'm usually out with them hunting anyway so it was laughs throughout as knew most of them haha.
 
OK, so I was at a Pony Club rally (once upon a time!!); and we were doing an Easter Egg Hunt over common ground which is used by the military for training. The horses just weren't right, very spooky and jumpy, but we didn't think much of it as they were on open ground and we put it down to that.

Anyway, we'd been riding for some while and my friend on her pony said she needed to pop behind a bush and do the necessary - urgently! - and would I please hold her pony, which I did. Anyway, there she was behind the bush with her joddies round her knees, and suddenly there was this great cheer and all the "bushes" around us started to move!!!

We'd found ourselves splat in the middle of a marines training exercise, and the "bush" my friend had popped behind, wasn't a "bush" at all, it was a soldier in camaflage!!!!!! Poor love, she was so embarrassed! Caught in the act with her cheeks on display.

But thinking about it, the horses weren't right, so that should have been a warning really .....!!!
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
OK, so I was at a Pony Club rally (once upon a time!!); and we were doing an Easter Egg Hunt over common ground which is used by the military for training. The horses just weren't right, very spooky and jumpy, but we didn't think much of it as they were on open ground and we put it down to that.

Anyway, we'd been riding for some while and my friend on her pony said she needed to pop behind a bush and do the necessary - urgently! - and would I please hold her pony, which I did. Anyway, there she was behind the bush with her joddies round her knees, and suddenly there was this great cheer and all the "bushes" around us started to move!!!

We'd found ourselves splat in the middle of a marines training exercise, and the "bush" my friend had popped behind, wasn't a "bush" at all, it was a soldier in camaflage!!!!!! Poor love, she was so embarrassed! Caught in the act with her cheeks on display.

But thinking about it, the horses weren't right, so that should have been a warning really .....!!!
Click to expand...
Hehehehehehe :D xD
 
My funniest -
Whilst walking accross a bridge above the M4 my boy stopped and pooed (sp) in a drivers path whom previously tried on various occasions to over take! I had the biggest grin ever!
 
I once rode out from a yard I worked at with a friend on the most unbelieveably spooky horse going. He had a nervous breakdown at everything I had him on the inside going back down the road. Coming round the corner there was a deadly killer plastic bag stuck in the hedge right at eye level. Anticipating a massive spook I sort of jumped right then nearly fell down the gap between the horses as he ignored it!! She says ' was that my imagination or did you just spook at a plastic bag?'
That was nearly 20 years ago and I still haven't lived it down!
 
When I was 11, my instructor decided to teach me how to lunge my pony. She let him out on a long line, and pony started trotting, then cantering, until he was full blown flat out to the other end of the field with instructor hanging onto the end on the floor, being dragged (I have no idea why she didn't let go) through a woody part of the field. Hilarious, we then had to spend hours looking for her phone, keys and then buy a new lunge line. Never lunged him again.

I was 10 and my pony bolted when we had a jumping lesson, there was literally one games pole in the whole field, and pony took a bee line straight at it, went straight through it and catapulted both herself and I onto the floor. She never bolted after that. Weird.

My friend and I went on a hack, when she decided she wanted her pony "to let off some steam" (she was riding a perfectly mannered jumping pony, whilst I was on a problem rearer, with few, if any brakes), I stupidly said okay. We started off in a huge field, and galloped one length, friend slowed down to a walk by the end of the field, whilst I felt my girth slipping, found myself sitting on the actual girth, absolutely flat out, straight back the way we'd come. The whole second length of the field I was wondering whether to bail out or brave it and stay on. (Friend thought it was hilarious, til she realised it was getting a bit dangerous). I have no idea how I stayed on so long with no stirrups or saddle, well pony made my descision for me, realised I had no hope of stopping, pony was fast approaching the 5+ foot hedge in front of us (pony was 13.3hh), So I bailed out just before she took off. And the blo*dy animal cleared the hedge (no joke! bigger than 5 foot!) and buggered off back to the stables.
Learn't my lesson I think!
 
Remembered these too:

Was put in a Area PC dressage team (an honour for us, as its not our best phase), saw that at each arena they'd put pots of brightly coloured flowers and trees, and typically it was a little windy on the day. Everytime we went past them she leapt off all four feet and jumped side ways, half way to X, after an appauling test, I was happy for it to be over, only to find out that once we'd managed to exit the arena, she practically jumped into someone else arena (who probably got pity points at having their test interrupted!), and starting half rearing, spinning and bouncing about like a complete idiot. Freak of a 15 y/o. Just slightly embarresing, and I had to be lead out in disgrace!

Was at the PC Catton event and dressage arenas are by a wood, and it was a windy day, and Ballet had warmed up really nicely, so I was positive about the whole thing, got up the centre line and a tree fell down and made a huge crashing noise, Ballet proceded to rocket back down the centre line, and after about a billion circles, I contained her between the arena boards, I got a 0 "Loss of control" and about 50 "Error of course"''s on my sheet. We did go to judges and explain (they hadn't heard it - car windows shut), but I still got a mark of 70 something, which is like 20 something %!! Came last even with a double clear!

Think I went a bit overboard! Sorry! :)
 
OK so I've got another: I had a "friend" riding mine a while back, basically she took the p**s and thought she knew it all, having "been to college"..... which is fatal on my man coz he can spot riders that know it all a mile off.

Anyway, she'd got her instructor from college in the arena and it was all looking pretty damn good, then my boy, who was pretty green in those days, decided he'd had enough of "education" and decided to dump her, unceremoniously, out the side door, plop! Now, bless her, she's not exactly a petite madam and basically you'd have heard the earth tremor this created as far away as Australia!!

Then, blow me down, if His Nibs didn't do EXACTLY the same thing the next week; same place in the arena, to the inch.

The crater-hole is still there, so don't fall into it peeps.
 
Ok....my top 5! (sorry, couldn't whittle them down!)

1) Roy's first time XC (bearing in mind he was 19 at the time, but has been a Grade A showjumper all his life, and this was an experiment!) we jumped everything beautifully until it came to the water. He would jump a rail, then two strides into the water and jump out, but he just would NOT jump straight in over a small tiger trap! After about an hour of refusing and saying "I jump OVER water you moron", he finally put in the most ENORMOUS leap, and landed right in the middle, for some completely unknown reason I came flying off as if I'd been pushed violently. At the level of his shoulder, I was upside down with my legs in the air.... SOMEHOW, I landed standing up, holding the reins, going "WOOOOOOOW I'M A NINJA!" with Roy looking at me as if to say "well YOU asked me to jump in, I told you that was a **** idea"

2) Age 10, doing mounted games on my pony at camp - he whizzed down the line for the bending race, but instead of turning round and going back he carried on cantering for the next three fields to where his best friend was doing dressage.

3) Same pony as above - we were having lunch one day when I was about 8, and Solly suddenly appeared in the kitchen and started eating a cake that was on the aga ready for pudding... my mother nearly had a heart attack!

4) Roy boy, last winter, had a VERY special present in the form of a new goose down duvet because his old one was starting to smell no matter how many times we washed it. Now Roy is a cold person, and if you don't put his duvet high enough up (right up to the ears) he pulls at it all night and kicks the door! Apparently I didn't get it quite right, and went out the next morning to find him standing patiently with the duvet covering his whole face, in a sort of tent type thing, spitting out feathers, waiting for someone to come and rescue him. I'm still finding feathers in the yard now!

5) My first time back out hunting after a really horrible eventing accident where my beautiful, wonderful Cadbury was killed, and I was hurt so badly I couldn't ride for over a year. I finally decided to get out there again, and figured I was well enough to take one of the old pointers out. As I was cold and rather jittery I drank all the port that was offered (only about 4 glasses, but I don't really drink and am consequently an outrageous lightweight) and spent the rest of the day wobbling and shrieking with laughter and yelling "Julian I'm pissed!" to the huntsman. Luckily he's a very nice man!
 
Binky01 said:
Oh god. Where do I start?!?

The time we went hacking and met with the Beaufort Hunt accidently....pink wellies and skinny jeans included!

The time I fell off in front of Oli T....?

Or when I accidently asked out a well known eventer and nearly met up...?

Or when I fell off in front of owners and ended up sat 'posing' it looked on the wall we were jumping?

The list goes on......
Click to expand...

nothing to add except this really made me laugh - what a list bless you.
:D
Click to expand...
 
Many years ago I had a Highland pony and went to Ardingly to do some dressage. I had my young son with me, probably about 3 or 4 at the time. As I trotted into the arena to start my test everything went very quiet and then my beloved son said in a very loud voice 'oh look here comes fat Mummy on her fat pony! Don't you just love children?

Same pony (was actually a lovely multi-talented little chap) and we were doing a side-saddle class of some sort. Of course all the other horses were delicate little TB types who just floated over the ground, when we did our canter shall I just say that the earth moved for most of the showground!


More recently, my very foal proud mare took exception to me being in the same county as her foal and kicked me on the thigh, resulting in a huge huge bruise. Eventually I decided I probably should get some medical attention for it and was very surprised at the fuss that was made of me until I realised that dim receptionist had misheard and put down that I'ld been kicked in leg by a NURSE!! Probably thought I was going to claim for compensation.....
 
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