Terrible names

Caol Ila

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23 January 2012
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Glasgow
Trouble is by the time I've faffed around thinking of a better name I've got used to calling them whatever they came with. So I have Declan, which is a ridiculous name, came from a dealer who had another one similar called, you've guessed it. Ant.
And Bunny, who apparently was born at Easter but is the most unbunnyish animal imaginable. Unless you count the Killer Bunny in Holy Grail which she did rather resemble when she first arrived.
That's the tricky part, isn't it? Hermosa was always going to stay Hermosa (which is a great name... no problems with it), and we were calling her that when we talked about her, and when I was faffing with insurance, livery yards, etc. before she came home. Same with Gypsum. When I decided I might quite like to buy Foinavon, OH and I agreed that we could not live with "Moose." Just...no. So, we thought about mountains and lochs and looked at all of our maps, and eventually settled on the one that felt right. In the meantime, we deliberately referred to him as "the Highland" when talking about him amongst ourselves. If we started using "Moose," it would stick whether we wanted it or not. By the time I arranged a vetting*, I had a name lined up. I had to; if he passed the PPE, I would need to tell my yard he was coming, and they want a name!

*He was vetted as 'Moose,' since that was the name the previous owner used. That was the only time I used it.
 

NightStock

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4 April 2020
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Also looked after a few horses in Portugal many years ago, one was heavily pregnant when they bought her and they named her 'Chicalina' who is apparently an Italian pornstar with massive boobs! I think it was quite nice sounding but....
 

Rowreach

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There once once a woman on my livery yard who bought her first horse and was very excited to give it a show name. She was somewhat less thrilled after being eliminated at her first event and hearing the commentator announce “Well it looks like ‘Mummyslittlehelper’ doesn’t want to come out to play today” 🥴
On the way home from collecting a lovely youngster by Armani First, we were thinking up designer names and deciding that "And next to go is Rowreach riding FUKC It" would be brilliant 😂 (he ended up being something else).
 

ycbm

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On the way home from collecting a lovely youngster by Armani First, we were thinking up designer names and deciding that "And next to go is Rowreach riding FUKC It" would be brilliant 😂 (he ended up being something else).
You should have! Love it 🤣
 

neddy man

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south yorkshire
We used to have a Brian. But as human names go these days we have a Kenny, Lou, Thomas, Henry, Hugo, Mary, Jess, Myles, Humphrey and Jeremy.

We had 3 siblings - Crumbs, Toastie and Ugs. The mare was called Granary House hence the first 2 names and Ugs was because he was ugly according to the people who handed him over so I changed it to Lugs because he had big ears.

At one point we had a Thomas, Tom, Tam, Tommy, Tim and Timmy in the yard at the same time. All of their owners wanted their horses to be called Tom or Tommy as we had to change few slightly 😂
And now a Marty, who got you a 2nd place today after your tough journey yesterday.
 

Lamehorses

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12 June 2020
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Riding stable I worked at had a horse called buck (for obvious reasons)
As he gor older & calmed down he became a perfect beginner ride.
We then started calling him uncle buck, but I'm not sure how many people were convinced when he was brought out for them to ride.
 

Rowreach

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13 May 2007
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Northern Ireland
Riding stable I worked at had a horse called buck (for obvious reasons)
As he gor older & calmed down he became a perfect beginner ride.
We then started calling him uncle buck, but I'm not sure how many people were convinced when he was brought out for them to ride.
A friend of mine bought a horse from a dealer who told her it was called Maddy. She was convinced it was short for Madeleine. It wasn't 😮
 

wispagold

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19 October 2008
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We had a pony called Toad, he was very pretty! I've also met a Frog too.

Also known a Brian (very pretty arab cross), a Norman ( a 13.2h show pony) and a Gary (sports horse)... they always make me smile as their names just don't suit them!!
 

horsimous

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25 November 2004
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Dorset
I’ve never liked Becky or Blossom as horse names, particularly as they were large hunters. I knew of another called Snotty.

One of mine’s dam was Marjorie, he was named ‘Nowell’ on his papers, next owner called him Negal, I renamed him!
 

Sealine

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30 July 2010
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A couple of odd names from my childhood include Prawn and Puff.

I’ve know a few with human names including Lucy, Mary, Clifford, Sara, Simone, Roger, Dave, Stan, Paddy a couple of Henrys and quite a few Charlies.
 

McFluff

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19 April 2014
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My friend used to ride a stunning stallion called Toad. Goodness knows why they did that, he was lovely.
I also remember us calling her BOGOF foal Kelpie (we were teenagers, and it reminded us of being brownies). Parents didn’t like it as Kelpies are mischievous, and uhm, the foal turned into a mischievous pony. Oops.
 

Esmae

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20 February 2016
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We bought a pony years ago that was less than pretty. We called him Frogface, and I knew someone who had a horse she proudly called Malcolm. Can't get my head around Malcolm at all. I mean, why??
 

Elf On A Shelf

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28 February 2011
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Riding stable I worked at had a horse called buck (for obvious reasons)
As he gor older & calmed down he became a perfect beginner ride.
We then started calling him uncle buck, but I'm not sure how many people were convinced when he was brought out for them to ride.
We had a Buck but it was because he had buck teeth! Then we had a Roger for the same reason (Roger Rabbit).

The Gary we had was AWESOME! Totally useless as a racehorse but such a dude to ride and deal with!

We had a Malcolm too who was a big, honest, gentle horse. He suited it.
 

smolmaus

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3 December 2019
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Belfast
We have a Stan, I didn't like the name at first either but its easy to yell from across that yard so it works (hes an arsehole). Most of the rescues end up with human names actually, we had a pony called Kerry and a staff member called Kerry and pony-Kerry is an irritating cow so you always had to be careful to specify pony-Kerry.
 

millikins

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7 March 2011
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3,302
There once once a woman on my livery yard who bought her first horse and was very excited to give it a show name. She was somewhat less thrilled after being eliminated at her first event and hearing the commentator announce “Well it looks like ‘Mummyslittlehelper’ doesn’t want to come out to play today” 🥴
Some people don't do their research do they? Mother's little helper was the valium dished out to depressed/bored housewives in the 60's which gave rise to some severe addictions.
 
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