thanks re: Charisma Solitaire - your responses helped

[gothdolly]

Thank you for all your responses they mean a lot to me. Not knowing anyone personally who has been in the same position has made it hard to discuss with others at the yard etc, and my husband is clueless, my mother just as upset as I am as Charisma Solitaire was her horse too.

The loss of Charisma Solitaire has hit me more than I possibly expected. I did have a choice, because I chose not to take her to hospital for further treatment but I am sure it was the right decision in view of her advanced age, cushings, immune system problems and how ill she seemed, and how long she had been treated for the infection (4 weeks including an operation to removed infected tissue) Every time she finished a course of antibiotics, she seemed to be better then two days after the course was finished she went down hill. I think she would have continued to go on like that.

Prior to the infection she had been very up and down for the last year with foot abcesses, weight loss, dental problems, laminitis, lice that were impossible to eradicate, generally looking very ill and miserable some days. One day in the summer I rang the vet as she was picking up all her feet in turn and I thought she had laminitis, the vet said not but she was clearly in some kind of foot pain. The vet said it was perhaps colic. I don’t know

She had also started to have diarrhea over the last couple of weeks. I think she was reaching the end of her life regardless of the injury and infection she suffered.

I know that horses with cushings often need repeated antibiotic courses, but I feel that life was becoming too miserable for her. She loved to be in the field, lived for galloping around like a looney and hated being in the stable. I tried very very hard, spent a large part of my savings on her treatment (she was not insured as 31 with cushings) almost lived at the stables, (midnight visits, 5am visits, constant worrying and driving back to the yard "just to check" etc.) and I put the rest of my life on hold to look after her, my family have hardly seen me for the last month, my house is a tip and it has been hard to go to work as I have been so worried and distracted.

Thanks again. I hope it will become easier to handle and I will be left with good memories, be able to look at the rosettes and trophies without crying etc but I will never stop missing her as she was a part of my life for over 17 years. Thankfully I have my gelding to keep me going through this. I will always wonder if taking her to hospital would have worked but in my heart I dont think so.

xxx
(edited to put her full name in for those that knew her personally)

 

[hellybelly6]

You absolutely positively did what was right for her. It never is easy to say goodbye to a beloved friend and member of the family as Charisma obviously was. There is a time when enough is enough and this was the time.

Do not beat yourself up about this. You made the decision which was right for her, not you, for her and the animal always has to come first.

Travelling to the horsepital would have been stressful, tiring and maybe even painful for her and you spared her this.

I have been in a similar situation myself with a cat, called magic so I know how much pain you are feeling. Dont keep thinking what if ... think how lucky you are to have known Charisma and to know she was loved.

xxx

 

[JRT]

Your post has brought back so many memories for me personally. My old mare was 35 when I had to have her pts. I had owned her for 31 years and loved her so much.

Like your beloved horse, when the time came I knew it was right to let her go, everything started to pack in and it was an uphill struggle to keep her going.

Please believe me when I say you have done the right thing. It is only because you loved her you let her go.

God bless and big hugs.

 

[MrsMozart]

You definately did the right thing. And your horse would thank you if she could. I think mine would have done, because we couldn't make her better no matter how much money we could throw at the vets. The fact that you paid out of your own pocket must tell you something about yourself.

It does get better, but you'll have days when it hits for no reason, and other days when a specific something will set you off. I thought I was back on an even keel, then I read the valuation my farrier had done for the insurance company (long story) - he's miserable and grumpy git and did not like Tig's markings, thinking her ugly - but he was so nice about her, actually acknowleding all the good things incldudng her colouring. I was in tears, couldn't speak.

So hunny, you did the right thing, and crap though it feels, it will always have been the right thing to do. Hugs. C.x

 

[fatpiggy]

Yes you had a choice but one choice would have meant pain, stress and distress for her, and the other stress and distress for you and a total end to the pain for her. She was 31, a wonderful age. You could have kept her going for a while longer maybe, but that is just putting off the inevitable and I think you would probably have lived to regret that decision. Far better for a lovely old lady to go peacefully in familiar surroundings than in a strange place with people she didn't know. My vet reminded me once that horses have no concept of tomorrow - they live only for the moment and don't miss what they don't know they are going to miss. There isn't a single person on the planet who doesn't wish that one day we could go down to the field and find our horse dead in its sleep, so that we don't have to make the awful decision, but unfortunately that rarely happens and the price we must pay for love is a broken heart.

 

[brighteyes]

You absolutely did right by her and I think went 'above and beyond' in your duty of care. Without a shadow of a doubt this was the only course of action and you should be congratulated for your efforts and kindness as her owner. I wish I could fix the heartache, but time will do that.
x