Hexx
Well-Known Member
STAGE 1
Fall off pony. Repeat. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
STAGE 2
Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up the horse's neck. Ride until sundown.
STAGE 3
Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stop the bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two nurofen and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
STAGE 4
Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call 999; drive self to A&E. Entertain staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.
STAGE 5
Fall off horse. Forget name of horse and husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics. Spend week in hospital having titanium pins screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives green light.
STAGE 6
Fall off horse. Fail to see humor when hunky paramedic says "You again?" Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp is not that noticeable. Promise husband you will give up riding. One week later, purchase older, slower horse (read, "seeing eye dog.")
STAGE 7
Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that bruises and scrapes are from gardening accident. Pretend you don't see husband roll eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.
I think I am at Stage 4 - based on the last trip to hospital with a broken bone!
Fall off pony. Repeat. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.
STAGE 2
Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up the horse's neck. Ride until sundown.
STAGE 3
Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stop the bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two nurofen and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.
STAGE 4
Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call 999; drive self to A&E. Entertain staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.
STAGE 5
Fall off horse. Forget name of horse and husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics. Spend week in hospital having titanium pins screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives green light.
STAGE 6
Fall off horse. Fail to see humor when hunky paramedic says "You again?" Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp is not that noticeable. Promise husband you will give up riding. One week later, purchase older, slower horse (read, "seeing eye dog.")
STAGE 7
Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that bruises and scrapes are from gardening accident. Pretend you don't see husband roll eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.
I think I am at Stage 4 - based on the last trip to hospital with a broken bone!