kit279
Well-Known Member
Plan:- complete a small showjumping class on my very sweet but green chestnut horse who has only been jumping for 6 weeks and is generally very suspicious about coloured poles.
Things that went wrong:-
1) Last night, the village hall next door to my house hosted an all night rave with seriously "bangin" drum and bass music until 4am...
2) Other half therefore was reluctant to get up on time...
3) Therefore, arrived late. Missed clear round.
4) Grey horse was inconsolable about the removal of his chestnut boyfriend and kicked his way off the trailer while we were warming up the chestnut. Was found running around car park by some nice lady...
5) OH went to get grey horse and check him over (mercifully fine) but it meant I couldn't walk the course and chestnut screamed his head off for his boyfriend the whole time. I didn't know what had happened to my little grey - was worried sick that he had broken a leg or something.
6) Part of arena was flooded so the course designer helpfully denoted this by careful use of spooky flower pots which needed to be avoided while riding.
7) It rained much, often and heavily.
8) Was so uptight and nervous and underprepared by the time I got in there that chestnut refused twice at first fence...
9) Elimination - do not pass go, do not collect points.
10) OH rode grey horse in next class - forgot the course and retired. Despite, you know, having a PhD and all... Couldn't remember 12 fences...
11) Saddle rack (custom made by wannabe DIYer OH) exploded in car boot. I may have mentioned that I thought we should just buy a ready made saddle rack. Cue OH hysterics about quality of workmanship.
Plus points:-
1) Noone died.
2) Horses are fine.
3) I nearly fell off twice but managed to stick on.
4) Chestnut horse was quite good in warm up.
5) Neither horse batted an eyelid at the mentalist rearing big dapple grey and unhinged shrill rider in the collecting ring...
6) Someone else had it worse than me in the next class, fell and bridle came off, got tangled up in horse's legs who then bolted around the arena.
7) Going back to Manor Farm tomorrow evening to put the gremlins to bed.
8) Got back in time to watch Burghley.
Any suggestions for what method of suicide would be quickest and least painful?
Things that went wrong:-
1) Last night, the village hall next door to my house hosted an all night rave with seriously "bangin" drum and bass music until 4am...
2) Other half therefore was reluctant to get up on time...
3) Therefore, arrived late. Missed clear round.
4) Grey horse was inconsolable about the removal of his chestnut boyfriend and kicked his way off the trailer while we were warming up the chestnut. Was found running around car park by some nice lady...
5) OH went to get grey horse and check him over (mercifully fine) but it meant I couldn't walk the course and chestnut screamed his head off for his boyfriend the whole time. I didn't know what had happened to my little grey - was worried sick that he had broken a leg or something.
6) Part of arena was flooded so the course designer helpfully denoted this by careful use of spooky flower pots which needed to be avoided while riding.
7) It rained much, often and heavily.
8) Was so uptight and nervous and underprepared by the time I got in there that chestnut refused twice at first fence...
9) Elimination - do not pass go, do not collect points.
10) OH rode grey horse in next class - forgot the course and retired. Despite, you know, having a PhD and all... Couldn't remember 12 fences...
11) Saddle rack (custom made by wannabe DIYer OH) exploded in car boot. I may have mentioned that I thought we should just buy a ready made saddle rack. Cue OH hysterics about quality of workmanship.
Plus points:-
1) Noone died.
2) Horses are fine.
3) I nearly fell off twice but managed to stick on.
4) Chestnut horse was quite good in warm up.
5) Neither horse batted an eyelid at the mentalist rearing big dapple grey and unhinged shrill rider in the collecting ring...
6) Someone else had it worse than me in the next class, fell and bridle came off, got tangled up in horse's legs who then bolted around the arena.
7) Going back to Manor Farm tomorrow evening to put the gremlins to bed.
8) Got back in time to watch Burghley.
Any suggestions for what method of suicide would be quickest and least painful?
