the joys of horse ownership

:D You stand behind a woman in her eighties in a queue and notice how good her hands look compared to yours.

Travelling through countryside you lookfor potential hacking routes and wonder what the riding is like.

You develop a keen eye for condition scoring and noting conformation of unknown ponies in fields.

Your shower always has a bit of hay or straw in the drain.

There are a selection of muddy boots at the back door.

You realise you hold your handbag like double reins.

You can hardly afford the dentist, but horse gets regular appointments and has pearly teeth.

You put your back out and struggle on with painkillers for months, horse gets chiro immediately.

Clothes are always viewed with how they'll look plastered in muck.

Your inventiveness with baling twine reaches epic proportions, but you stop short at macrame plant pot holders.
 
touchstone said:
:D You stand behind a woman in her eighties in a queue and notice how good her hands look compared to yours.

Travelling through countryside you lookfor potential hacking routes and wonder what the riding is like.

You develop a keen eye for condition scoring and noting conformation of unknown ponies in fields.

Your shower always has a bit of hay or straw in the drain.

There are a selection of muddy boots at the back door.

You realise you hold your handbag like double reins.

You can hardly afford the dentist, but horse gets regular appointments and has pearly teeth.

You put your back out and struggle on with painkillers for months, horse gets chiro immediately.

Clothes are always viewed with how they'll look plastered in muck.

Your inventiveness with baling twine reaches epic proportions, but you stop short at macrame plant pot holders.
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All of the above plus;

You lie to your husband on a regular basis convincing him that anything to do with the horse costs no more than 50 pounds

You wash your horses rugs in the family washing machine and when it breaks berate the children for leaving tissues and money in their pockets having already secreted the huge mound of hay, straw and pooh in the outside bin.

You tend to find your self sayng "Walk on" to dawdling husband and children when you are out on occasions you realise you click at them with your tounge.

You have the vet, farrier and yard on speed dial

You think it is perfectly acceptable to drop into the yard to give the horse a fresh haynet even though you are dressed up to the nines and on your way out

Dressed up to the nines tends to mean a clean pair of jeans and clean boots
 
You struggle on with tennis elbow due to poo picking whereas you call the vet at the slightest sign of lameness in your horse

Your garden is a mess of weeds and uncut grass but your fields are immaculate

Your house has damp and no central heating and no cooker but your horses have lovely stables, a nice haystore to keep their hay dry and well fenced fields

You hide your visa bills from OH due to amount spent on feed, supplements, rugs etc

Being dressed up is not having horse poo or slaver on you

You can't remember what it's like to have a 2 week holiday abroad

Your friends get manicures but your happy when your nails are just clean

Your hands look like you are a manual labourer when you work in an office
 
Chavhorse said:
You think it is perfectly acceptable to drop into the yard to give the horse a fresh haynet even though you are dressed up to the nines and on your way out

Dressed up to the nines tends to mean a clean pair of jeans and clean boots
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This pretty much sums up my life. Went on a night out AAAAAGES ago (I don't go out much, horse money is so much more valuable than drink money). Was sitting at a bar with some friends when one of them pulled a strand of hay out of my hair :|
 
Chavhorse said:
You think it is perfectly acceptable to drop into the yard to give the horse a fresh haynet even though you are dressed up to the nines and on your way out

Dressed up to the nines tends to mean a clean pair of jeans and clean boots
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This is sooo me lol :eek:
 
When your oh has come to expect your "perfume" is eau de horsey.
You get more excited at the thought of shopping for a new rug rather than a new outfit.
Your shoes are falling to bits but the horses have new shoes every 6 weeks.
 
Your car resembles a mobile tack shop, and could do with mucking out.
Your muscles look morelike arnies from holdingon to horses, and banging fence posts in.
You keep swarfega in the house in a desperate attempt not to have dirt engrained into your hands.
Your going out when your friends are coming in
 
zaminda said:
Your car resembles a mobile tack shop, and could do with mucking out.
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Hahaha, I'm deep littering my car!

You narrowly avoid accidents because you see a pretty horsey in a field beside the motorway

You become interested in the most unlikely things on TV because there might be a bit with a horse in it (loving 2 broke girls on E4 at the moment!)
 
Sologirl said:
When you can read "9 and a half inches of bone" without sniggering :D
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Brilliant!!

My friend's comments consist of words such as "standard" when I appear at the pub with mud wiped across my face or horse poo on my clothes.

Another is "oh have you done something to your hair?"

"Yes I washed it!"
 
I am plotting how integrate a 16h yearling who looks nothing like any of the others, into the yard, without the OH noticing.

Short of painting it to look like a cow and I at a loss, it may be an idea to speak to a divorce lawyer before the horse arrives !
 
touchstone said:
:D You stand behind a woman in her eighties in a queue and notice how good her hands look compared to yours.

Travelling through countryside you lookfor potential hacking routes and wonder what the riding is like.

You develop a keen eye for condition scoring and noting conformation of unknown ponies in fields.

You realise you hold your handbag like double reins.

You can hardly afford the dentist, but horse gets regular appointments and has pearly teeth.

You put your back out and struggle on with painkillers for months, horse gets chiro immediately.

.
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hahah I hadn't even realised I do half of these but that's absolutely true, I do never go to the dentist/physio/doctor esp in comparison to my horse....!! He eats dinner a lot more regularly than I do, too....and I definitely hold all bags like double reins.... oh god.

love the one about cuasing crashes because of assessing the conformation of random horses in fields too, so true. I also find myself assessing empty fields all the time - it's a mental game, before i see the animal I have to guess if it's a horse field, a cow field or a sheep field - that's just SAD!

then there's 'imaginary hedge jumping' when on train or car journeys.... once when lost my friend and I discovered I actually navigate by remembering which hedges and fences look fun to jump. DEAR GOD THERE IS NO HOPE!!!!!
 
AdorableAlice said:
I am plotting how integrate a 16h yearling who looks nothing like any of the others, into the yard, without the OH noticing.

!
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haha and I did this once hoping my parents wouldn't notice (bought a pony wihtout them knowing, I mean)....didn't go down too well when they found out, but I got a good few months out of it....
 
Love this :) my car and bedroom are definitely deep littered yet an OCD about horse's stable looking immaculate

Also driving around seeing scary stuff on the sides of the road thinking "I wonder what horsey would think to that/ would I get past that?"
 
Omg- I thought I was the only one who, when driving down the motorway looks at the fields/hedges and Imagines jumping them and galloping alongside the cars..

.. I need a life! Ha!
 
You spend vast amounts of money on supplements etc

You happily buy a new rug for the horse but hate buying new clothes for you

Having to go and do the horse in all weathers

Spending ages up the yard trying to catch said horse who won't come in

The rare time you are off work, horse is injured and you can't do all the stuff you had planned :(
 
Forgot to add:

I'm another of those who's car is full of horsey stuff: once when I'd dehaired some rugs for washing only the drivers seat was free!
 
For my 21st on Monday I am getting a new hat, a new body protector and some XC colours of the parents and boyfriend...

Shouldn't it be a diamond necklace or something? :p

The boy gets physio, densist, new shoes, rugs, vet, supplements etc etc... I count my weekly lessons as spending money on 'me'...
Sadly I enjoy 'providing' for him....

Another one for dressing up is clean jeans and a non horsey smelling top, luckily after 4 years the boyfriend is used to eu' du equine... :rolleyes:
 
When you're an estate agent, and can't understand why people buy houses with acres of land and then don't feel the need to fill them with horses? :confused: Such a waste! :D

Oh, and when you automatically go "awwww no!" and chastise the purchaser of above mentioned property for planning to turn the land into a golf course, and the beautiful indoor school into a garage :mad: :rolleyes: Luckily he has a sense of humour or I'd be in deep trouble :o
 
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Your car looks like a stable!

You 'click' to your kids to try to get them moving a bit.

You get yourself to sleep at night fantasising about cantering over moorlands, jumping natural objects.

You think nothing of walking through the supermarket covered in horse crap and when you get eyed up for a split second you think 'I've still got it', then realise they aren't eyeing you up but instead looking in disbelief, that you could actually com out looking like that!
 
Wearing ordinary shoes (as opposed to wellies and boots) feel completely wrong and make you walk like a duck..well they do me anyway..

Your horse radar is permanently on absolutely everywhere you go., you can spot another horsey person a mile off.

9 and and half inches of bone might make you snigger but 'enter at working trot' makes you roar with laughter.
 
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