The last straw.

[Ratface]

King Kevin Kat went to his gem-encrusted throne in Kat Paradise eleven days ago.
I've been crying for most of every day since. Gradually, I have been managing a little less each day.
Today, I received an envelope addressed to me with a "Cat in the Clouds" type card, and inside it, a piece of paper entitled "Pawprints in Heaven"
and an ink print of one of Kevin's paws on a piece of paper. I'm sure the veterinary hospital administration team meant well, but it's completely thrown me back to the beginning again.
I phoned the administration team, thanked them for their kind thoughts but suggested that they might think about phoning deceased pets' owners to find out if they would like this before sending such poignant reminders of the sudden loss of an animal companion.
They were fine about this, and said "Most people like a nice memory of their pets". I thanked them and put the phone down.
Back to square one.

 

[Widgeon]

I'm really sorry it upset you so much - I do think it's well intentioned though, it's always helped me hugely to know that the team at the vets care about me and the loss of my pet (and I really think they do, they are a nice kind bunch). Grief is so difficult - something that's helpful for most people can be upsetting for someone else. I think the vets are a bit "damned if they do, damned if they don't" really.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I remember feeling like this when I received a card and some tail from my old boy Copper from Weipers Vet School. It came in 10 days after I had donated his body. I thought it was a lovely gesture but did set me back for a couple more days and I am sure their intentions were good though.
Chin up Ratty! We are all here for you

 

[meleeka]

I wish they’d ask too. Actually I think my vets did ask when it was my dog. I received a card the next day, but declined a paw print or anything else. Getting the phone call that the ashes were back was hard enough, when I was just picking myself back up.

 

[Maxidoodle]

Awwww, RF I’m so sorry it’s upset you. I think it’s so hard for vets to know what to do for the best, my parents got a card around the 10 day mark from the vets and it helped them massively with their grieving to know they weren’t alone in their sorrow (it was handwritten and really thoughtful). When we had our big cat PTS as an emergency before we moved here, I would have really appreciated a card (as it was during lockdown and I was totally alone) but never got one and I felt so very alone.

I hope you are able to pop it away in a safe place, for further down the line and hopefully one day it brings you comfort. It’s definitely sent with the best intention.

 

[Sandstone1]

I am sorry the pawprint upset you. When my dog was pts they did ask if I wanted a pawprint. It must have been upsetting if you were not expecting it. A previous dogs insurer sent me a lovely card with a packet of forget me not seeds which was lovely. I am sure the vets did mean well but maybe they should ask first. It is still early days and such a big character as Kevin will leave a massive hole in your life. Remember you are not alone. Most people on here have been through sad losses at one time or another be that a horse , dog or cat so we do understand. Would doing something in Kevins memory help? A nice container with a plant or something?

 

[FinnishLapphund]

I'm sorry it opened your floodgates again, but I'm so impressed with that you under those circumstances was still able to phone them, not to bite their heads off, without to Thank them for their kind thoughts, + suggest to them that they first check on beforehand if it's something the owner wants or not.
You're a quite remarkable person to be able to act so sensible!

In theory I think what they did sounds like a lovely idea, but I would've expected them to ask you about if you wanted paw prints of him first, perhaps when you where there for the euthanasia, just like I presumed they asked if you where going to take the body with you, or leave it with them for either cremation or other disposal.

Anyhow, have you perhaps thought about taking up working with clay? While kneading the air out of the clay you could always imagine it's whoever decision it was to send out unasked for paw prints that is getting a bit of not so gentle treatment.

 

[dogatemysalad]

I didn't know this was a thing now. I have received a card from the vets before which was lovely, but I'd prefer to be asked about the paw print. I really wouldn't want it.
I've taken a lock of horses manes and usually have one of their shoes from previous shoeings but that was something that I did personally and decided to do.

 

[Ratface]

I'm sorry it opened your floodgates again, but I'm so impressed with that you under those circumstances was still able to phone them, not to bite their heads off, without to Thank them for their kind thoughts, + suggest to them that they first check on beforehand if it's something the owner wants or not.
You're a quite remarkable person to be able to act so sensible!

In theory I think what they did sounds like a lovely idea, but I would've expected them to ask you about if you wanted paw prints of him first, perhaps when you where there for the euthanasia, just like I presumed they asked if you where going to take the body with you, or leave it with them for either cremation or other disposal.

Anyhow, have you perhaps thought about taking up working with clay? While kneading the air out of the clay you could always imagine it's whoever decision it was to send out unasked for paw prints that is getting a bit of not so gentle treatment.

Thank you, FinnishLapphund. Re taking the deceased Kevin Kat with me which I politely declined, the lady vet said "No problem, we've got a mass cremation firing up this afternoon. We'll squeeze him in with the others". Too much information!
She was a lovely young woman and managed the actual euthanasia very gently. However, she didn't hold him until he had completely expired, and he got halfway up, staggered off the edge of the table, fell off, fell about on the floor and then died.
It was absolute horrible to watch. The vet picked him up, listened to his heart and confirmed that he was dead.
I have been with all my animals whilst they were pts.
I've never had such an upsetting experience before.
Any other involvement with this practice will be with The Sainted Dave,, unless it is an absolute emergency.

 

[nagblagger]

Oh Ratface that sounds an awful experience, sending a hug.
When you are feeling stronger maybe write a letter to the manager explaining what you witnessed, it could save another owner going through this.
I admire your dignity throughout.

 

[Widgeon]

That is pretty horrendous, I would write to the manager too. Sounds like they maybe need a bit of policy around how to manage such situations. I'm so sorry you went through that.

 

[Birker2020]

I'm so sorry you experienced that. X

 

[Spotherisk]

Ratface, I don’t have anything of use to say other than I am so very sorry for the loss of your splendiferous Kat.

 

[Kunoichi73]

So sorry to hear what you went through.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Thank you, FinnishLapphund. Re taking the deceased Kevin Kat with me which I politely declined, the lady vet said "No problem, we've got a mass cremation firing up this afternoon. We'll squeeze him in with the others". Too much information!
She was a lovely young woman and managed the actual euthanasia very gently. However, she didn't hold him until he had completely expired, and he got halfway up, staggered off the edge of the table, fell off, fell about on the floor and then died.
It was absolute horrible to watch. The vet picked him up, listened to his heart and confirmed that he was dead.
I have been with all my animals whilst they were pts.
I've never had such an upsetting experience before.
Any other involvement with this practice will be with The Sainted Dave,, unless it is an absolute emergency.

Oh dear @Ratface , poor you. I thought what the veterinarian said was bad enough, and should be in some veterinary handbook over what to never say. Perhaps she was trying to play down the whole cremation thing, but still, that was so wrong.
However, then came what happened next. I've heard of other pets who fought the injections, but I'm so, so sorry that you had to go through that with Kevin Kat.

Life feels so unfair sometimes.
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

 

[Ratface]

Thank you, dear friends.
It was the worst planned animal euthanasia that I have ever witnessed.
It haunts me.
I don't want to get the young woman into trouble. It must have been traumatic for her as well.

 

[Lois Lame]

Yes, I wouldn't want the young woman to get into trouble either and I think I would be disinclined to mention it (the clumsy handling of King Kevin). I am glad that you mentioned to the staff that maybe, regarding the sending of paw prints in the mail, it would be better to first ask. I wouldn't want prints of my cat, dog, guineapig, horse etc either. And if I did, I would possibly take them myself.

A vet once asked me (regarding a horse), "Would you like his tail?" I'd never heard of ever cutting a tail off before and I foolishly said, "Yes," because I was ... I don't know, somewhat surprised or baffled. Later on, after an age of waiting, someone came to the waiting room and handed me the tail, all plaited. I never knew what to do with it. I'm not sure what I did end up doing with it.

I think it's a fabulous idea from... FinnishLapphund to take up working with clay. You can make a wonderful (or slightly peculiar) model of the king himself. (Not Charles - Kevin.) I think Kevin would think it grand.

 

[ycbm]

Deleted, wry humour, not sure it will help.

I hope you're feeling better today Ratface.

 

[Red-1]

Oh Ratface, I am sure the triple trauma with the vets isn't helping to move on at all. How crass of the receptionist. As for the vet, we can only hope she has learned her lesson and it never happens again.

The idea of a card is, I think, a nice one. I think that, had they posted the day after so it was more in the immediacy, it may have helped? However, it is a bit too late. The paw print would really bother me. It is like someone took over my loved pet once he was gone and used his body without my permission. Kind of disrespectful. I know it is silly, because he had gone, but everyone feels differently about death. I defo think permission should be sought for this.

I hope that it has helped, sharing the bits of the experience, to be able to rationalise it all.

 

[SEL]

Reading this has given me an awful sick feeling - I'm so sorry Ratface. Handled badly by the vet practice.

Euthanasia is always so hard and I know it's hard for the vets too but mishandling and lack of empathy really don't help.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I am just appalled about what happened at the end and I can so understand why it would be haunting you. They usually go so quickly, usually as the injection goes in but I had one, Archie a gorgeous big tabby boy who was in the final stages of kidney disease so circulation compromised. He didn't go instantly so I held him till he was gone.
I do hope you can manage to come to terms with what has happened and start feeling a bit better, easier said than done I know. I wouldn't want a pawprint sent to me unsolicited either.

 

[MurphysMinder]

I am so sorry his ending was so traumatic, sounds like the vet didn't handle things at all well.
When I lost one of my dogs last year it wasn't a planned pts so I was in a bit of shock I think, the vet was lovely and let me spend time with her when she had gone and did ask if I wanted a pawprint and some hair. The receptionist was also very sweet when I went to collect her ashes.

 

[Highmileagecob]

Oh dear, not a good day all round, and it is entirely reasonable why you are grieving so deeply. The vet profession suffered badly when the universities stopped interviewing candidates and started relying on five A* A levels instead. People with common sense and empathy just didn't get a look in.
The situation was handled badly, but I still believe you did the right thing with Kevin's best interest in your heart.

 

[MurphysMinder]

Oh dear, not a good day all round, and it is entirely reasonable why you are grieving so deeply. The vet profession suffered badly when the universities stopped interviewing candidates and started relying on five A* A levels instead. People with common sense and empathy just didn't get a look in.
The situation was handled badly, but I still believe you did the right thing with Kevin's best interest in your heart.

I didn't realise they no longer interviewed candidates Being a vet certainly means more than having the right A levels.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Thank you, dear friends.
It was the worst planned animal euthanasia that I have ever witnessed.
It haunts me.
I don't want to get the young woman into trouble. It must have been traumatic for her as well.

I think you've said she's young, and new, and otherwise lovely, so maybe you're right, and what happened was traumatic for her as well.

I'm sorry his ending haunts you @Ratface , would it perhaps help to think of it from his view? I mean, we all know that you where trying to give him a better end than the cancer would've, but I don't think Kevin Kat knew that it was euthanasia injections he was getting.
I think that for him it was just another tranquilliser, and he just instinctively tried to fight it. Perhaps from his view, he saw falling off the table as a victory, a "Ha ha, I'm escaping!", and then he was gone.


ETA: Think about how drunken drivers can think they're driving like the best pro ever, when in fact they're driving like crap. Maybe King Kevin Kat thought he moved smooth like a tiger...

 

[Ratface]

Thank you all, for your kind words. A horse friend who always has a fleet of feral cats and her ear to the ground, put out the feline equivalent of an All Ports Alert. She has a client who wants rid of her husband's cat (??!!) so he's bringing her over on Friday. I think that I would have got rid of the wife, but it takes all sorts . . .

 

[Fjord]

Oh RF, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Not only an insensitive comment at such a difficult time, but a traumatic situation too. I like FL's suggestion that Kevin Kat was plotting an exciting escape.

I'd rehome the wife too, but if you get a new best friend out of it, then that's excellent.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

"He's bringing her over on Friday" Are you 100% sure it's the cat he's coming to leave with you, and not the wife?

Oh well, his madness, your win.

 

[meleeka]

I’m sorry RF that his passing wasn’t very peaceful. It does sound like the vet was pretty rubbish that day. I’ve had a few animals pts and held many more when the owners couldn’t face it and they’ve mostly gone quickly. The one that didn’t was a friends cat whose circulation was compromised. It was still peaceful though and somebody had a firm hold of him at all times. I’m not surprised you still feel traumatised by it.

 

[Arzada]

I hope that all goes well for you both on Friday Ratface.