bex1984
Well-Known Member
Hello to all my equine friends out there reading this. i have taken this opportunity to steal my 'owner's (owner - pah! that's what she thinks...) log in so I can share some of my pearls of wisdom with you all. So here goes:
'Evasions' - now, our riders might name them evasions, but I prefer to think of them as a way of out-smarting one's rider and reminding them that we're much cleverer. It is vital for every horse to have a repertoire of these. I highly recommend using them selectively to keep them guessing at what's coming next. For example, spend a few days leaning on the bit, then revert to giraffe position again for a few days.
Dressage - a totally boring and pointless exercise as far as I can tell. To be avoided at all costs. Make sure you are frustratingly bad at it so they don't try to get you to do it too often.
Canter - this is my ultimate top tip. Never, ever consistently canter on the correct leg. You can drive them insane by getting it wrong, but make sure you occasionally do it perfectly to keep them clinging on to the hope that you might get it right. Just don't do it right too often or you may end up doing dressage (see above)
There are many different types of rider and handler. the nervous ones - well, you just have to look after them and get on with it. But the ones who think they know what they're doing, they are the ones you can have some fun with. I highly recommend refusing to pick up your feet for people who clearly think they are 'experienced with horses'
Shows - can be a good chance to make everyone look at you and comment on how lovely you are. Unfortunately your rider will probably be nervous and fairly useless, so it's best just to get on with looking pretty and prancing about, especially if they cry.
Lessons - should your rider arrange one of these, you may be asked to exert yourself more than usual. To avoid this, it's best to just repeatedly ignore their requests and go as slowly as possible. Repeat this several times and hopefully they won't book another lesson
Jumping - requires more effort than normal work, but is actually quite fun. However, to conserve energy, once you've jumped the jump, it's best to grind to a halt fairly quickly.
The farrier - not worth arguing with, but ideal for falling asleep on.
Restricted grazing - if you hear this mentioned, pack up and leave. Quick.
One last thing - practice your 'you are hopeless' look. You need it when they fall off.
'Evasions' - now, our riders might name them evasions, but I prefer to think of them as a way of out-smarting one's rider and reminding them that we're much cleverer. It is vital for every horse to have a repertoire of these. I highly recommend using them selectively to keep them guessing at what's coming next. For example, spend a few days leaning on the bit, then revert to giraffe position again for a few days.
Dressage - a totally boring and pointless exercise as far as I can tell. To be avoided at all costs. Make sure you are frustratingly bad at it so they don't try to get you to do it too often.
Canter - this is my ultimate top tip. Never, ever consistently canter on the correct leg. You can drive them insane by getting it wrong, but make sure you occasionally do it perfectly to keep them clinging on to the hope that you might get it right. Just don't do it right too often or you may end up doing dressage (see above)
There are many different types of rider and handler. the nervous ones - well, you just have to look after them and get on with it. But the ones who think they know what they're doing, they are the ones you can have some fun with. I highly recommend refusing to pick up your feet for people who clearly think they are 'experienced with horses'
Shows - can be a good chance to make everyone look at you and comment on how lovely you are. Unfortunately your rider will probably be nervous and fairly useless, so it's best just to get on with looking pretty and prancing about, especially if they cry.
Lessons - should your rider arrange one of these, you may be asked to exert yourself more than usual. To avoid this, it's best to just repeatedly ignore their requests and go as slowly as possible. Repeat this several times and hopefully they won't book another lesson
Jumping - requires more effort than normal work, but is actually quite fun. However, to conserve energy, once you've jumped the jump, it's best to grind to a halt fairly quickly.
The farrier - not worth arguing with, but ideal for falling asleep on.
Restricted grazing - if you hear this mentioned, pack up and leave. Quick.
One last thing - practice your 'you are hopeless' look. You need it when they fall off.
