'The worst thing he ever did' (for fun)

[SadKen]

I was just reading one of the other threads about beagles who get up to mischief due to boredom etc. Now we all know that dogs can get up to stuff when they are bored, unsupervised, lonely, in pain etc... but I thought it might be fun to share the worst things our dogs have ever done without bogging the thread down in the 'why'.

Over the years mine have:
- Chewed one shoe out of every pair I owned, in one sitting
- Destroyed the back bumper of the car whilst unsupervised in an enclosed yard for 5 minutes. Insurance didn't want to pay out due to 'act of dog'
- Threw up what looked and smelled like bowel contents on my computer and it all went in the keyboard.
- Walking along the canal, waited for the fancy dining canal boat to appear and proceeded to poop with his bum facing directly at the diners, at eye level
- Humped potential boyfriend's leg then bit him for sitting on the sofa

I <3 dogs.

 

[rabatsa]

Chewed my iPad, my glasses, my gloves - brand new expensive leather ones and still pinches any butter he can get his tongue onto.

 

[SadKen]

Chewed my iPad, my glasses, my gloves - brand new expensive leather ones and still pinches any butter he can get his tongue onto.

Not the Ipad!! I've never understood the enthusiasm for chewing eletrical items. Actually another one to add electronically speaking - did a wee on a Nintendo 64 game controller. We still have it - it's affectionately named the 'guest controller' and we give it to visitors who join us for games of MarioKart. Please wash your hands after using.

 

[Widgeon]

I was just reading one of the other threads about beagles who get up to mischief due to boredom etc. Now we all know that dogs can get up to stuff when they are bored, unsupervised, lonely, in pain etc... but I thought it might be fun to share the worst things our dogs have ever done without bogging the thread down in the 'why'.

Over the years mine have:
- Chewed one shoe out of every pair I owned, in one sitting
- Destroyed the back bumper of the car whilst unsupervised in an enclosed yard for 5 minutes. Insurance didn't want to pay out due to 'act of dog'
- Threw up what looked and smelled like bowel contents on my computer and it all went in the keyboard.
- Walking along the canal, waited for the fancy dining canal boat to appear and proceeded to poop with his bum facing directly at the diners, at eye level
- Humped potential boyfriend's leg then bit him for sitting on the sofa

I <3 dogs.

#2 and #3 are my favourites (not the best word to use in this context, I suppose). Both are AWFUL

 

[CorvusCorax]

OFR1 (Old Fat Retired One)
- Licked the cheese and bechamel topping off a lasagne as far as he could reach (was pushed to the back of the worktop). I scraped the rest over the top and put it in the oven, no one died.
- Has stolen many footballs from both adults and children's matches and punctured them
- Stole a full bottle of Mountain Dew from some surfers, punctured it and ran around the beach spraying it all over the place, couldn't get near him to get it off him.
- Lifted and punctured a bottle full of lorry driver's pee.
- Lifted and punctured a tin of line marker spray paint.
- Lifted and punctured a bottle of rotten milk (can you see a theme).
- Has eviscerated many cushions.
- Almost eviscerated my mother's Stieff bear, which is already missing an ear and an eye thanks to the dog she had when she was 16.
- My trainer gave me a Kong bone to try under my arm for heeling, he bit it in half in one go.
- He chewed off and swallowed the magnet-on-rope attachment of a ball belonging to someone else in two bites and had to go to the emergency vet at 10am for the sicky jag.
- If not given some sort of dummy tit, will just grab and carry the first thing that comes to hand and go on a victorious charge around with it. See: metal measuring sticks, plastic electric fencing posts, wooden fence posts, slats from a 1m hurdle, and once tried to lift a pallet and got very angry that he couldn't.
- Has rolled in a dead seal.
- Oh, most recent one, saw a cat in the lane and forced his face through the garden gate to try and get to it, scraping off the hair and skin just under his eyes.

The Golden Child
- Peed on a puppy's head
- Peed on my leg
- Pees on his own legs, leads etc.
- Can open doors and likes jumping on beds. Ahem.
- Will not get out of the ****ing river.

 

[Fiona]

Lily the Lakeland ate my nice neoprene wellies once

Fiona

 

[EventingMum]

I don't think ours have done anything quite as bad as some of these. One was a persistent offender at taking my son's gumshield out of it's case in his rugby bag and chewing it. Current young dog has a passion for zips and if Mr EM leaves any clothes with a zip lying around they are fair game!

 

[HeyMich]

Rolled in a very well rotten salmon at the side of the river. Smelt like a fishmonger/compost heap/landfill site for at least a week, despite being repeatedly washed with every kind of dog shampoo and a good dose of fairy liquid! The collar got binned, the dog almost followed...

Eugh... I'm gagging at the memory!

 

[{97702}]

Wow my lot are clearly angels 😂 I’m actually struggling to think of anything awful they’ve done..... apart from the mandatory chasing stuff, which is just part of being a sighthound....

I wonder if my standards are wrong here 🤔😂😂😂

 

[pippixox]

This thread is making mine mostly look angelic!
My old GSD was usually very good with food even if he could easily reach it. But 3 years ago I made my husband a birthday cake. Took Loads of time and decorated and homemade made icing. Popped out to pick something up before he came home. Harvey had reached up onto the counter and eaten literally half of it (he had then pushed it too far back to eat any more!) I burst into tears (I would like to add I was pregnant and emotional anyway!) but after we lost Harvey aged just 5 to cancer I’m almost glad he did it as I now think of it every year on husbands birthday and red velvet cake makes me giggle!

The first week we got sky the collie she managed to open left over pizza box and eat the pizza- picking off the olives 😂- leaving box in the same place I left it!

Jasper the lab has too many eating gross things antics to list!

 

[{97702}]

Oh - I’ve thought of something which I’ve mentioned before! One Christmas Day I was over with the family for Christmas lunch, I took Islay greyhound with me as usual. I popped to the bathroom some time after lunch, telling my family to keep an eye on Islay while I was out of the room....

On my way back to rejoin the party I walked past the kitchen to see Islay helping herself to the remains of the roast turkey, which my BIL had stupidly left on the kitchen worksurface 😂😂😂 I thought it was hilarious, my mother was outraged as she had wanted to take the remaining turkey off the carcass to use in sandwiches 😛

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Jasper the lab has too many eating gross things antics to list!

Many labs over the years:

Chewed Mum's false teeth, glasses, purse complete with £5 note which she had to take into the bank to have replaced, opened the fridge many times to help himself, ate a cooling Christmas cake just out of the oven

Destroyed a pair of long leather riding boots, stole raw eggs and butter off the dresser, ate through the hall wall!

Got upstairs (where not allowed) and stole a box of chocolates which were intended to be a Christmas present (several dogs shared them and no-one was ill).

Loads of other stuff which has all become hazy over the last 60+ years

 

[rabatsa]

Seeing CC's post reminded me that the greyhound also chewed my asthma inhaler which was new and he overdosed on salbutamol. We thought we would lose him that night.

 

[Rowreach]

- ate the central heating control off the wall
- ate part of the wall
- stripped a lot of wallpaper off the wall
- ate the tow bar electrics off the jeep
- ate several riding hats (I did warn people, they didn't listen)
- chewed a liveries brand new stable rug (I managed to do some very discreet repairs, I don't think she ever knew)
- chewed through a seatbelt
- ate through one of the seat cushions in the lorry living
- chewed a mobile phone
- chewed a couple of pairs of glasses

Because he is so big it was difficult to put things out of his reach. He stopped chewing things when he was 7. It is a good thing I love him dearly ...

 

[twiggy2]

Black dog
Ran around football pitch chasing the ball whilst a match was in progress, I could not stop him as he used to push the ball along for himself, fter 5 minutes he punctured the ball in full view of everyone.
Pooped under the dining table at our dinner time.
He did these things repeatedly.

Last lurcher
Ate the bread I had buttered whilst making a sandwich, I turned my shoulders (and my eyes) to get ham, I did not move my feet and she ate the break-in did not see it happen!
Ate lunch sandwiches when they were in the sandwich bag then came running down the field in a panic when said bag was hanging out if her bum whilst she was pooing.

Current lurcher
Almost knocked an elderly lady off the sea wall when the lady spoke to her in a squeaky exciting voice. The ladies husband stopped her flying and told her that he had said before she should leave dogs alone when out walking.

Puppy
Pooped in a holiday house just as we were leaving to catch the ferry home, it was everywhere and it took ages to clear it up properly.

 

[fankino04]

During the puppy stage, Tey punctured a hole straight through my new mobile that I'd only had for 1 day (it was on top of the bookcase thinking it would be out of her reach but I think she scaled the sofa to get high enough), she also dug at the carpet until a thread came loose that she could use to unravel a massive patch, lost several shoes to her chewing and also OHs glasses and brand new replacement bank card that she ate 90% of when it was posted through the letterbox. Funniest thing she did was when she was being carried to meet some friends as she hadn't had her second jab yet, she got so excited at people making a fuss of her that she peed all down OHs front 😂

 

[blackcob]

Big White Dog chewed the tap off a 3 litre box of salmon oil and drank the contents. For several hours afterwards he was basically a dispenser of hot oily sharts and voms, including a spectacular arc from the top of an open tread wooden staircase.

 

[SadKen]

Current lurcher
Almost knocked an elderly lady off the sea wall when the lady spoke to her in a squeaky exciting voice. The ladies husband stopped her flying and told her that he had said before she should leave dogs alone when out walking.

I am going to be this old lady.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Big White Dog chewed the tap off a 3 litre box of salmon oil and drank the contents. For several hours afterwards he was basically a dispenser of hot oily sharts and voms, including a spectacular arc from the top of an open tread wooden staircase.

😂😂😂😂

 

[Goldenstar]

In the run up to MrGS retiring he bought an made to order leather chair from Italy huge sort of round and electric it sat in the corner of the garden room awaiting the great day.
To team up with it he bought a huge amount of bang and Olson TVs speakers etc etc .the super stylish speakers in oak to match the garden room where his pride and joy
We went away for a couple of day and left the dogs with a lady they knew well in the house ,Dram er ......ate the chair and chewed the speakers .

 

[PapaverFollis]

My two are little angels. Lol. Hmmm. Mostly the worst thing is eating dead stuff they find. The spaniel is very good at finding dead stuff. He very occasionally makes stuff dead... worst one was a baby magpie. ☹ But most often he finds stuff that is already dead and either eats it or carries it home proudly like a good spaniel and refuses to give it up (like a Very Bad Spaniel) unless I offer to swap it for a large amount of biscuits... on one occasion (a rabbit almost as big as him) I had to put down a whole bowl of wet dog food before he dropped it...

The sprollie licks people's eyeballs. I always warn them. They always want to stroke him anyway.

My smooth collie I had as a teenager once jumped up at Jarvis Cocker. True story.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

current two are pretty good, not done anything bad. Fitz is a bit obsessed with the glasses cleaning cloth in my glasses case, it must be very valuable as its shut up and carried about with me everywhere

the setter-ate part of an interior wall including the skirting board, would switch lights on or off for attention, jumped up at a hanging bird feeder and ate 2kg of peanuts. hosepiped for days.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Oh I'm not even going to start on previous dogs. Especially what my mother refers to as The Watership Down Incident. Oh and the one that lost a tooth because she liked chewing bricks. And the one I found in the garage with the tumble dryer on top of her. And the one that pinched and ate most of a loaf of bread sat on the judge's table in the middle of the ring (Herr Whateverhisnamewas had lunch from the chip van that day.)
She still won the class, if I recall correctly.

 

[deb_l222]

Clyde
Dreadful creature, everything went down that dog’s gullet. Lino, wallpaper, socks, pants, etc etc. His favourite thing was pretending to be the andrex puppy and running off with the loo roll. Was still being naughty up to the day he died. Age didn’t mellow him. Loved him dearly xx

Willow
More recently, just a few weeks ago in fact, falling arse over elbow onto the front garden in front of the neighbours after Willow dog skipped in front of my feet!!

Buddy
Now, Buddy will always be my favourite and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I adored him but he could be very naughty. Most embarrassing moment, chasing mum and baby ducks across half a mile of reservoir with me screaming like a banshee from the side. He got out at the other side, little sod.

Probably could write a book if you give me a few days

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Came home one day, Jake was on top of the kitchen table. He looked as surprised as I felt. I have no idea how he got up there.

Every single moveable bed ended up doing massacred sheep impression on the patio. Jake pushed, Brig pulled through the dog flap. It was an expensive phase.

My parents dogsat Brig once. Dad took him to the woods. Brig ate all the wiring and bulbs in the boot. Cost almost £300 to fix.

Bear proudly brought a bunny to the OH on his first solo walk with the trainer. The OH had to dispatch it.

Bear and Zak ran away a few times, my trainer and her two helpers spent hours with me looking for them in the woods. I was dragging the leg round at the time. We found them and they tried to run away again. Fun times in pitch dark woods.

Zak stole, chewed up and pushed my phone under the shed. Then he stole, chewed up and scattered the OH’s wallet. There was £200 in there for the builder. The bank replaced as much as we could find.

The one time we took all three to my parents’ “secure” garden, they all escaped and I had to go to the next street and beg the very reluctant anti social and odd man in the house behind to let me come into his house to retrieve the little swines.

Brig went through a phase of finding and retrieving massive pigeons in the park. He’d inevitably try to eat them. I was shamed when he dumped one at my feet in front of a frankly horrified dog owner passing by.

Big White Dog chewed the tap off a 3 litre box of salmon oil and drank the contents. For several hours afterwards he was basically a dispenser of hot oily sharts and voms, including a spectacular arc from the top of an open tread wooden staircase.

O.M.F.G! I cannot begin to imagine the sight! 💩

 

[Mosh]

The first day we bought Bruno home he did a poo up the radiator, stole a pair of socks and bit my dad.
A few weeks later he ate a razor and a tub of Vaseline.
Promptly got stuck in the bathroom sink (he's not allowed in there now!)
Recently he climbed into an army reserves lorry and had a lovely time with soldiers!
Refused to let me wake up my little brother and used to go bananas
Has dispatched a lot of mice and rats.....


He's mellowed now. Kind of.

 

[Goldenstar]

Employ a cleaner!

Seriously it will be money well-spent.

Oh I'm not even going to start on previous dogs. Especially what my mother refers to as The Watership Down Incident. Oh and the one that lost a tooth because she liked chewing bricks. And the one I found in the garage with the tumble dryer on top of her. And the one that pinched and ate most of a loaf of bread sat on the judge's table in the middle of the ring (Herr Whateverhisnamewas had lunch from the chip van that day.)
She still won the class, if I recall correctly.

The watership down incident , I am cringing thinking about the possibilities

 

[Auslander]

Mine joined in an outdoor yoga class! He bounced around, yowling joyfully and kissing people.
I hid behind a tree, and pretended he wasn't mine

 

[paisley]

In no particular order of dreadfulness:

Finding the only dog-phobic child on the biggest and most crowded beach in Cornwall and flinging himself on here like a long lost relative

Peeing on a very posh jewellery table at a county show when I took my eye off him for a nanosecond

Chasing 8 escaped sheep down the main road in the village. I don't think I've ever managed to yell as loud again- although I'd like to point out it was a regular walk in a field which never has livestock, and he is absolutely never off lead near any animals!

 

[PapaverFollis]

Oh the Sprollie peed on a wall in a National Trust shop once... I did a Very Very Bad Thing and just ran! Given that when I worked in a pet shop I so much preferred it when people just told us if their dogs peed it was doubly bad of me. Lol.