Things that make you wet yourself laughing

Box_Of_Frogs

Box_Of_Frogs

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I was just replying to a post about rubber matting in stables when I remembered something my wonderful YO said to me a few weeks back. I'd been explaining why I had bought my (then) new horse Sunny a brand new Stubens bridle when he came to me with a usable bridle anyway. I said he needed a new one because his old one was stiff and cracked and disgusting. My YO looked at me and said "bit like me then!" and then we both fell to the floor laughing! Anyone else got any howlers to share and make us all smile? (PS - sorry Helen, had to be told!!!)
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My son..aged 5 at the time.."Mummy, you're a weirdo, aren't you?" me: "Well, sweetie, I suppose some people might think so..what made you say it?" Son: "Well, your husband's dead so you're a weirdo".
I guess not every five yr old can get their mouths(or heads) round "widow"!!!
 
Walking through Bourton-on-the-Water today there were a mother and daughter infront.
Daughter was probably 4ish..

Daughter: Mummy.
Mum: Yes dear.
Daughter: There are old people everywhere.

She said it just as a group of old ladies were walking past and they looked horiffically shocked whilst me and my mum are stood there in stitches!!
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Like me, one of the mature ladies came onto the yard one day with a new sweat shirt she had bought from a garden centre, it had two beautiful yellow birds embroidered on the front. She walked up to me smiling, shavings fork in hand and said "Hi Helen, wanna see me Tits?" ...
 
I can remember when my mare came back into work eventually and I went for a hack with a friend and we had a slow canter along our most favourite "heather" track as it is always lined with wonderful mauve heather. I just couldn't stop laughing, I think I was so elated that we were actually back in action and was feelin so happy, I had tears streaming down my face.
 
i had the exact same thing as pink weasel. my old mare had been out of work for 2.5years - absolutely hobbled, but just seemed to make this miraculous recovery so very steadily brought her into work. we had been cantering around the estate where we had lived, and decided it was time for a big girl hack. having never been outside this particularl yard (only been there for a few months at the time), the whole time was just too darn exciting for her!

i fortuantely had the forethought to use a pelham on this day - wisest decision ever made!. when we started trotting, she was demonstrating some beautiful hackney action, and then in canter... well. we had cantering on the spot, going sideways, bronco bucking - you name! i just couldnt contain myself, laughter and tears were rolling down my face - the others on the ride were slightly more concerned for my safety but i was totally in my element!

i did the same thing when i did my first dressage test with her - we had a bit of a wobbly part of the test where i was a little emotional, but we still came 5th!

other hilarious moments, with a slightly more 'mature' lady at the yard. she had been known to be a stroppy nightmare, but also had moments of extreme kindness - she was very old school, very proper. the radio was playing whilst the staff were having lunch, i dont remember the song exactly but it had a bit of a reggae beat, and along came Pru past the office door, dancing and jigging about - and said 'bet you didnt think i could dance like, now, could you girls!' our immediate responce was nope, we didn't!! it was such a struggle not to laugh infront of her, it wasn't out of any unkindness, but just pure shock!
 
My 5 year old girl decided she needed to know where babies came from. Not one to skirt the truth, I explained that Daddy put his willy inside Muumy and that a seed came out and joined an egg and hey presto, a baby is made.
She thought about this for a little while and then asked "where did we do this when we made her sister", I said in bed. She then said, "were you asleep?", to which I replied "very nearly", trying very hard not to laugh.
Again, after a little thought she says "Hmm, sounds boring!"
This tale makes me titter whenever I recount it.

Wonder if she'll be saying that at 18?????
 
my sister and i spend a lot of time argueing and the rest of the time in silent hysterical laughter at the stupidest of things... especially horse related.
like one day she forget to take Tom's forelock out of the brow band and we got halfway round the hack before we realised, and that poor tom had been walking around with this major elvis style quiff (he has a hell of a lot of forelock!) and we were laughing so hard that we're crying and totally unable to ride properly.
or when ron throws his bucket at tom in the field.
or we got some new hens a few years ago, and when they first went outside one of them started attacking a pile of leaves like it had some personal vendetta against them. we were laughing so hard we couldn't stand up!
 
I can remember walking past a funeral parlour once with my mum and I just happened to say 'You don't see many people in there, do you'. Needless to say, she just looked at me and then burst out laughing. It took me a while to realise what I'd said
 
Ravenwood's post "I could have sold the bloody lot this morning".

Also when my mare feels good in herself and gets a bit frisky and tries to have a bit of a buck. Problem is she doesn't actually seem to know HOW to buck properly, and just sort of rolls her back a bit a squeals. She thinks she's being REALLY bad, but it makes me laugh so much I nearly fall off anyway.
 
my friend getting her saddle out the tack room but I nudged her by accident and she slowly fell backwards to the floor with the saddle still in her hands, she collapsed in a heap, it was so funny!!
 
Flash is always making me cry with laughter, he's just not quite all there. Something that never fails to make me laugh is watching him drink, for some reason he just can't drink properly, and after he stands for ages with his lips pursed together and his mouth so full of water his cheeks bulge out, and he makes a loud sucking noise like a baby with a dummy and flutters his eyelashes. Have no idea what he's actually doing, but he dribbles the water everywhere!
 
my 4 year old announced to her nursery teacher thats she wants to dig up old, dead people when shes older
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not sure if she wants to be a grave robber or a archaeologist
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