things to increase someones confidence

archie1

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taking a very nervous rider out on saturday for a hack on her young horse with my plod of an eventer. Is there anything i can say to her to calm her down???? it should all be fine, no road work and the horse is quite sweet. Rider just needs a bit more confidence but i am at a loss to find anything to say!!
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being nervous myself and having a rising 4 cob, i know exactly how she feels! i really dont like hacking much!
What helped for me was for someone to actually lead my cob a few times, then to walk nex to me without lead rope, once i had enough confidence like that, i then went a short way with her riding her own pony, i took a lead rope just incase, but my boy was good, we've been out 3 time since, the last time for hour and a half and even had a bi plane take off 50 yards from us, needless to say i wasnt sat on him - i got off - but he simply stood still.... so my advice to you is if shes really nervous dont go as her nerves will be transferred to her horse who may be silly and make things worse... if she will go then maybe lead her with a leadrope from your horse, i know that would make me feel better... hope some of that helps, and have fun x
 
sorry this might be a silly question but why does she have a young horse if she is a nervous rider? Surely this is not going to help with her confidence or give her young horse the best vibes for hacking??
 
I always find singing a song helps me when I get the wobbles and I would agree with everything that Mookey has said. I did all those things and now I can hack out on my own and go to shows etc.
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Im currently in this situation, im a very competant rider (ie, i know what im doing) but bung me on a horse ive never riden and im a bag of nerves.

So.. i have a new pony and i go out on long hacks with a girl whos horse isnt a plod by any stretch- BUT i trust this girl completely and she can handle her horse 100% so it puts me at ease and she takes me all round the land- through boggy forestry, down steep hills etc and so far so good!

Then, when my girlie tries to nap shes there backing me up and gets me to not be such a softie and stop her doing it.

Sometimes i get off, but slowly shes teaching me if i trust my girlie then she will come through and hence yesterday was fab!

Im already feeling better about it, my girlie is rising 6yo so a youngster and my first youngster at that.

Some people need different things, this situation works well for me but for example i know if her horse played up she's sort it where as if i went with other people they dont have that control and thats what i dont like.

Its hard to find a 'plod' to go out with, but a good rider with a well behaved horse (even if it does jog!) works well for me.
 
Have some goals on the ride, like practising halts, or walk to trot transitions. If you know the ride and have these at set points, it'll give the ride purpose and give her mind something to do, other than stress!
 
Usually in situations like this I find it better for the nervous person to see someone else ride their horse out, even if it means plonking her on a nice quite type that she's used to or yours etc one that she's not nervous on.

Otherwise if she's a bag of nearves its not going to help her youngster, also if her young green horse does actually do something, its better for her to see how her horse does react and how a confident person corrects/deals with it so this will also give her peice of mind and know what to do if the unexpected happens when she's aboard. Otherwise lots of talking, joking and singing, pointing things out in the scenery to take her mind of it, you usually find that nearvous people won't talk beause there too busy concentrating on what might happen, having a good moan about the OH's is usually a good subject!
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[ QUOTE ]
I always find singing a song helps me when I get the wobbles and I would agree with everything that Mookey has said. I did all those things and now I can hack out on my own and go to shows etc.
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[/ QUOTE ] Humpty Dumptey all the way!!!! To boost her confidence, comment frequently on the good things she is doing, dont make her sound like a child, this will just patronise her!!

Stephen
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Just be confident yourself - even if your horse should play up, let the other rider believe you feel like you are in complete control, so she takes confidence from you.

You might want to remind her she's got a job to do in educating her horse, so she must act positive and ride forward however she is actually feeling. Don't let her dwell too much on her nerves, they are normal but I think we make them worse if we focus too much our worries.
 
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