This is pathetic

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MosMum

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I've been looking forward to going for a ride all week (as in, since last Monday). Due to other commitments it just hasn't been possible to go 'til today. Yesterday, especially was quite busy, and I didn't feel 100% this am (I have ME and fibromyalgia but can manage fairly well on good days).

I got to the yard, planning to feed the horses, muck out to let them digest for a half hour and then ride, and the stalls were in such a state I decided to clear them out completely and pressure wash them/disinfect, which I did. It took about an hour. No big deal.

Went to tack up Blue and my arms were aching so badly I couldn't hold them up to buckle his chin strap. Friend came in to help me but then I couldn't lift his saddle.

Sat down on the ground and just cried. All this effort and looking forward to riding and I coudln't even tack up, all for having cleaned a few measley stalls. I felt so weak and pathetic and useless.

Sometimes I wonder if I should even have horses.

Sorry this is long. Just having a pity party.
 
You are being too hard on yourself. Next time you feel up to riding do it before mucking out and washing stalls. And enjoy !
 
Does Blue care when he is ridden? No, almost certainly he doesn't.
If your horses are well cared for then nothing else really matters. I understand it must be frustrating for you on days when all you want to do is ride, but you dont feel up to it so can't... but dont beat yourself up so much. Clearing out and pressure washing stables does sound like rather a large job, so leson learned... next time you feel up to riding, ride first and then anything else that doesn't *need* doing can be done afterwards if you still feel up to it! :)
 
Don't be so hard on yourself, just prioritise! Next time, do the riding bit first, and then tackle the chores.

Your friends can always finish those for you if you aren't up to it ;) :)
 
You refer to 'horses' Could you find someone to share with you, maybe they do the jobs for ALL in exchange for riding one, ideally not the one you would want to ride most (how many have you got??) Then you get to ride on days you feel up to it.

I know this might not sound too appealing mucking out several in exchange to ride 1 but if you are a horsey person and can't afford one or to pay share of 1, this would be an awesome solution for them.

Not pathetic chicken, ill. Impressed that you just crack on as soon as you are able. Shows strength. Do you have any you could part with to lessen the load and give you more energy to ride?
 
Thanks guys, I am feeling slightly better after a nap but someone else (hubby lol) is going to bring them in and feed them tonight... I hate a date with a heat cushion.

I think riding will just have to come first next time, as you all have suggested, I will not be sidetracked next time!

Caci I only have 2, one is mine and one is on loan. The other two belong to the other woman but she does mine in the AM and I do hers in the PM, and we swap days mucking out etc. Only one of mine is riding...
 
One of my friends has ME so I know how debilitating it can be. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I would be tired after entirely clearing out and disinfecting stables! Save your energy for another day and don't beat yourself up. Your horse really doesn't mind if he isn't ridden as long as he gets a cuddle :)
 
Dont beat yourself up... its great that you can get out and do stables with ME.. I have arthritis is hip and sometimes I nearly overdose on painkillers so I can do stables and have 30 min ride...
 
Aww hun, don't beat yourself up, having a chronic illness is a pain in the bum but it is outside your control. Perhaps a few little changes are in order - like the others say ride first, then chores, what saddle have you got? Perhaps get an old maxam saddle for days like these as they are incredibly lightweight. Is there anyway you can pay someone a couple of days a week to do the chores so you can definitely ride?
Big hugs to you x
 
MosMum I can sympathise with a great deal as I also suffer from M.E and Fibro.

So far this year I have had to cancel 3 riding lessons, one of them I got 300 yards from the stables and had to turn round and go home as I was having a really bad day with dizziness.

It's a very distressing disability to have and unfortunately as I have found I am probably the most unreliable person in the world now :(

Just cherish the good days and like many have said I am sure your two will be happy to just have a hug and a polo/carrot when you are not feeling up to riding.
 
It's not pathetic, don't be so hard on yourself!!

You say you have both ME and Fibro....and you still have horses, I think you are an incredibly determined person and should feel very very proud of yourself and cut yourself some slack.

Everyone has bad days, your bad days are worse than most of ours guaranteed but please don't think you're pathetic!! xoxo
 
It is not pathetic. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I also suffer from M.E, and after 3 years I still have to remember to pace myself on the "good" days.
In some ways, however, I disagree with those saying ride first, chores second. It is not essential, nor does Corrie care, if she is not ridden, but it is essential, in my opinion, that her stable is mucked out daily and she has food and water. I do try to make sure though that on the days I plan to ride, I leave myself as few "essentials" to be done as possible, so things like bringing round more hay, doing fresh bedding, digging out wet if I've semi deep littered for a couple of days are done on Corrie's planned days off.
As easy as it is to get carried away and find more things to do, try not to if you want to ride. If you have still got the energy after you have ridden, then you can do the extras then.
 
Aww thanks you guys, what an amazingly supportive lot xxx

The mental fog is what really hits me, I'm generally quite good with verbal skills etc, and find it really frustrating when I can't speak on the phone or find a word that I'm looking for. On the worst days I have been sat on the bed crying as I can't get dressed, which is not bad compared to some with longterm illnesses including ME, my friend with it was wheelchair bound for nearly a year!

I am really quite blessed as I cope quite well on some days and others are not so lucky :(

Thank you so much for the hugs and hope x
 
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