This is ridiculous now - I need to man up!!!!

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Tayto

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Ok, some of you may have seen previous threads when I have talked about my new horse taking off with me. I know that it wasnt the biggest deal in the world and I know that I am being so ridiculous but I cannot get my confidence back.

Since then, we have moved yards and Tash has been diagnosed with cushings and due to one thing or another getting in the way we haven’t been hacking as regularly as I would like.

Right now, I am at work, its a lovely evening and I know I should hack but my stomach is turning. I take rescue remedy before I ride but it doesnt seem to help and Tash picks up on it and then she acts all jumpy and silly.

I have tried going out in company and with my partner on foot. I have also taken her out in hand - all of which makes us both more confident and she really looks to me for confidence when in hand i.e. walking past a wheely bin she will go up to it and sniff it with persuasion but if we pass the same wheely bin when riding she freaks out. I really want to get back to hacking alone and its frustrating me that I cant just man up and get on with it.

I know that I am being so silly but I cant seem to get past these stupid nerves - any tips?!
 
Would it be possible for you to hack out on a quieter horse? Maybe go for a hack at a riding school if possible?

I was in a similar situation over summer - the horse I was on took off with me, after that I began to get really panicky (tensing, sometimes panic attacks) going into canter. We only had one quiet horse (out of 9) to exercise, but she made a world of difference. The other groom was fantastic: I'd warm a horse up, she'd do the canter work with the first one whilst I warmed up the second and then I'd cool down the first. I had to keep pushing though as I was working.

Are there any short routes that you could do, gradually building up the length? And as daft as it may sound.. how about having someone put a lead rope on her whilst you're riding, just to give her confidence from the ground until you feel better about it all?

Hope this helps, you won't be nervous forever x
 
Hacking takes confidence and if there isnt any confidence coming from you then the horses isnt going to be comfortable being out.

Id do as suggested above and get your confidence up by going out on another horse. Having to take rescue remedy before every ride is not productive IMO and if your not confident enough to take her out then its no surprise shes acting the way she does.

Get your confidence back up elsewhere if necessary or get someone else to ride her out for you until you feel you can do it. Good Luck hope something works for you both and your back enjoying each others company soon :)
 
Don't put yourself under pressure to ride. Wear your riding kit including hat, tack her up and take her for a walk in hand. If part way way round you fancy getting on for a bit do so, if you don't, don't! Don't beat yourself up if you don't get on or if you dismount after a short time. Just tell yourself that you are in no rush to be hacking solo again, and be pleased with any progress you make.

Carry on with this and any other in hand work you do. All of this work will build up your relationship with your mare. Chip away at your anxiety rather than tackling it full on. Good luck!
 
Tiddlypom said:
Don't put yourself under pressure to ride. Wear your riding kit including hat, tack her up and take her for a walk in hand. If part way way round you fancy getting on for a bit do so, if you don't, don't! Don't beat yourself up if you don't get on or if you dismount after a short time. Just tell yourself that you are in no rush to be hacking solo again, and be pleased with any progress you make.

Carry on with this and any other in hand work you do. All of this work will build up your relationship with your mare. Chip away at your anxiety rather than tackling it full on. Good luck!
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This is golden advice!

Don't feel like you're being ridiculous, most people go through this at some point. There's no 'should' about getting up on her back while you're in knots. Take baby steps and in the meantime do things together that you still enjoy, maybe working in hand, some special soothing grooming with a soft brush or browsing the hedgerows for some tasty herbs? :)
 
What a great idea Tiddlypom! The road we hack on to get to the woods is where I get nervous so I could walk in hand to the woods then jump on. Once we are in the woods I do relax a bit but if anything happens before getting to the woods i.e, the other night one of her old field mates cantered through the field and up to the wall to speak to her sending her into an excited mess which resulted in me being a nervous wreck. However I did persevere and managed to get her past and went into the woods and even managed a canter but I would t say I enjoyed it, I pushed myself to do it as she needs the exercise!
 
I know how you feel - after a bad accident I was terrified of mounting my horse, unless there was someone holding him (though fine once I was on). I would literally be in tears in the yard if there was nobody around as I couldn't make myself get on. I felt completely ridiculous. Anyway - best way over fears is REALLY small steps. What I did was (for both his confidence and mine) to take unimaginably small steps - one day, I would just stand by the mountain block and put my foot in the stirrup, then walk away and untack him. Next day, put a little bit of weight in the stirrup - then untack him. Next day, slightly more (etc etc, you get the idea).

Could you do the same thing? One day, walk to the gate of the farm, lean over and give her a mint, walk back. The next day, one step beyond the gate, mint, walk back. Etc etc. Also doing other fun things in the meanwhile e.g. hacking with another horse/your partner/poles in the school - whatever you like doing.
 
You are so right guys, why have I been putting so much pressure on myself! I keep thinking that if we don't sort it out soon she will never hack alone so I feel like I have to fix it ASAP of that makes sense?!
 
Think the on/off idea when you walk out in hand is an excellent idea. When I was suffering a similar situation I would find that if we were out on an in-hand walk I would occasionally get the urge to get on, so I would tack up and get ready then just walk and jump on and off as and when I felt like it. It didn't totally get my confidence back, I had to ride another horse in order to complete the task and prove to me that I wasn't the numpty I felt I was, but these on/off ride gave me the confidence to think I could ride another horse, and once I had I found it a fairly easy step to get back on mine properly. Have to confess though that being tanked off with is still a very scary thought and still haunts me if things get boisterous. But hey, we all have our moments, and if you really want to work through this then I'm very sure that you will do.

One other thing though - don't push yourself into thinking that you have to do any of this quickly, take as long as you and your horse need, and don't listen to anyone who says you 'must' be doing anything that you are not comfortable with.
 
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Tiddlypom has hit it on head. Get out in hand and work on ground. also if can mix with some gentle hacking on a quiet horse with a friend even better. But what i wanted to say is please please do not think you are silly. most of us have been there. i refused to get back on a horse after 40 Odd years of riding some 3 years or so ago due to peoples comments. confidence hit rick bottom . that was till my gorgeous daughter sent me hill riding in welsh mountains in july . I actually cried after our first canter tears of joy. take each day as it comes. set goals to aim for but most of all enjoy being round your horse be it in saddle or on floor. good luck and dont think you are alone x
 
Tayto, I'm having similar problems with my youngster. He's had me off a few times & I don't like riding him on my own. So I have bought a book on Groundwork and Agility & I'm going to work through that for a while and only ride if someone is around.
 
I get like this all the time when I think of riding, but once I've gotten on and settled down in the saddle I'm usually fine and my mare never outs a foot wrong. I know how it can feel having the panicky feeling, I feel off at the weekend and got straight back on again and since falling off I keep thinking 'what was the point in me worrying, yes I fell off but I didn't break a bone or get trampled on' I think in a way my fall has helped me to overcome part of my panic attacks.

Hope this helped :)
 
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