Those who have tried NLP, is it always like this?

[soloequestrian]

I tried NLP this week to help with a specific confidence issue with one of my horses. My friend had won the session in a raffle and didn't want to try so she gifted it to me.
The practitioner didn't want to know anything about the specific issue. She asked me to think about the 'first, worst and most recent' times I had been affected but I couldn't think of a 'first' because it just sort of crept up on me. She got me to visualise the 'worst' and then manipulate the image in my mind. I found some of the manipulations hard e.g. making it black and white but she just moved on when that happened. Once the picture had been reduced in size (which again, I found hard to do) she said 'what can you see now' and I said 'the gallery wall' which was where I had hung the picture in my imagination and she got a bit tetchy and said 'there shouldn't be a wall there' and then went through the whole process again. I feel like I could talk someone through the same process now having done it just once - there was nothing at all that seemed specific to me or my issue and all the instructions could have been read off a crib sheet. It doesn't seem to have helped at all. Is this normal/ am I untreatable/ was she doing it right?

 

[meggymoo]

Idiot question alert: What’s nlp?

 

[Red-1]

As with anything, there are skilled practitioners and not skilled one. I am an NLP practitioner and can say the person you have been to sounds like they lack soft skills!

It IS usual not to have to specify the occurrence to the person involved.

Try Jo Cooper, she is skilled.

 

[Red-1]

Link to her. http://www.equestrianconfidence.com/nlp.html

It also explains what NLP is.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Regardless of approach, (NLP, Hypnotherapy, CBT) anyone in any therapeutic setting should:

a) Undersand what the process involves - not least so they can give informed consent!
b) Be able to ask questions about the process
c) Feel that the therapist is supportive, interested, empathic. Tetchiness is definitly not ok!

Re not wanting to know specifics, some treatments don't need the person to discuss the issues. But it is always useful as part of an assessment to understand where the person is coming from, so that you and therapist can collaboratively agree some goals and targets for treatment.

She just sounds like an unskilled practitioner really.

 

[Red-1]

The NLP person who trained me had a colleague who helped someone after some nasty incidents at badminton. It was not an equine person and they presumed they had hurt themselves falling/failing on the badminton court. Until... the person who trained me heard their name... Team GBR LOL, Badminton falls perhaps being in a different class. Sometimes capitalisation means everything!

The person didn't need to know what the issue was to be able to help.

I found the darkening/smaller, distant film thing was helpful for little incidents, but for whoopers I preferred Time Line Therapy, as it was called back then (I think it changed its name since). I was an example for the course, so the trainer 'did' it on me. That helped in a way that visualisation did not.

I qualified and did some of it, until I saw a master practitioner 'help' an acquaintance who was scared. Oh, it worked, they weren't scared afterwards. The trouble was that they SHOULD have been. I had seen them riding said horse and yes, they WERE in danger. They had some nasty injuries that year, hospital twice for the worst ones, as the NLP made them confidently sail themselves into danger time after time.

I modified my approach to one where the rider stepped back and took stock to risk assess themselves and make consciously accurate improvements to their plan until their inner guardian said it was safe. More about deciding what risk to comfortably take, adjust things until the risk was acceptable then confidently set fourth.

 

[Gloi]

Maybe if they were any good they wouldn't need to give free sessions away as raffle prizes.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Maybe if they were any good they wouldn't need to give free sessions away as raffle prizes.

^^^ My feeling exactly, from what the OP has described.

Sounds like the woman was wanting to tune in to the "Therapist" kudos; but without true empathy and identification with her client and engaging Active Listening to what the client wasn't necessarily "saying" to them..........

What a let-down.

 

[Gloi]

^^^ My feeling exactly, from what the OP has described.

Sounds like the woman was wanting to tune in to the "Therapist" kudos; but without true empathy and identification with her client and engaging Active Listening to what the client wasn't necessarily "saying" to them..........

What a let-down.

At least it was free

 

[soloequestrian]

Thanks all. Yes it was free but it's really put me off trying anything like this again. She was so positive in the conversation we had when booking and actually I feel if anything I'm slightly worse - I had a few hours of feeling like somebody was going to take The Fear away and it just didn't happen.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Don’t be put off getting help. A lot of practitioners have a tendency to over-state their effectiveness. And NLP is known for making quite inflated claims. (No offence to good practitioners who don’t).

No one can just ‘take your fear away’. You need to work collaboratively with a practitioner to understand it and gradually move past it. It’s not magic. It’s using established psychological strategies to gain confidence over time. But they work and you can overcome your fears. Hang in there!

 

[blitznbobs]

I think there is a reason she is giving away free sessions

 

[eahotson]

The NLP person who trained me had a colleague who helped someone after some nasty incidents at badminton. It was not an equine person and they presumed they had hurt themselves falling/failing on the badminton court. Until... the person who trained me heard their name... Team GBR LOL, Badminton falls perhaps being in a different class. Sometimes capitalisation means everything!

The person didn't need to know what the issue was to be able to help.

I found the darkening/smaller, distant film thing was helpful for little incidents, but for whoopers I preferred Time Line Therapy, as it was called back then (I think it changed its name since). I was an example for the course, so the trainer 'did' it on me. That helped in a way that visualisation did not.

I qualified and did some of it, until I saw a master practitioner 'help' an acquaintance who was scared. Oh, it worked, they weren't scared afterwards. The trouble was that they SHOULD have been. I had seen them riding said horse and yes, they WERE in danger. They had some nasty injuries that year, hospital twice for the worst ones, as the NLP made them confidently sail themselves into danger time after time.

I modified my approach to one where the rider stepped back and took stock to risk assess themselves and make consciously accurate improvements to their plan until their inner guardian said it was safe. More about deciding what risk to comfortably take, adjust things until the risk was acceptable then confidently set fourth.

Sounds very sensible.

 

[eahotson]

Just a thought but perhaps NLP isn't for everyone.

 

[Catbird]

I've been having sessions recently and found it brilliant so don't let it put you off. Good luck

 

[Wizpop]

Definitely don’t be put off by NLP. As a practitioner, I’ve helped a lot of people- but it does need to be done with empathy towards the client at all times. Being in rapport and creating trust between practitioner and client is paramount, as is knowing how to use various techniques and strategies. There is no “ one size fits all”

Sounds like the NLP practitioner in question has a lack of basic skills in NLP.

 

[soloequestrian]

The practitioner has been in touch - I said that nothing had changed for me and she offered me a follow-up session. Should I accept? Could it do any harm if not done particularly well?!