those with sharers

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Ibblebibble

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has your sharer ever made your horse lame and what did you do?
my sharer has a habit of letting my TB get fast and flat over jumps and now he's got heat and swelling in his hinds:( did you give them another chance or did you just say enough is enough goodbye?
 
My sharers always tend to do less than I do, but I would have a chat, if it looks like that is all she wants to do with your horse, then it would be adios!
 
Ibblebibble said:
has your sharer ever made your horse lame and what did you do?
my sharer has a habit of letting my TB get fast and flat over jumps and now he's got heat and swelling in his hinds:( did you give them another chance or did you just say enough is enough goodbye?
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I can't see the connection.
 
Surely you can't prove that your horse has heat in his hinds as a direct result of the way your sharer rides? I'd think it's more a case of you needing to communicate better with your sharer a) how you expect the horse to be ridden and b) what his limitations are. IMHO you have to make them aware when there is an issue and give them chance to change things (unless it's something like neglect etc etc), assuming the problem has been caused as a direct result of their actions.

In your case it sounds to me like you need to show your sharer how to ride your horse and maybe suggest they have some lessons. Maybe the sharer is struggling to ride/get to grips with your horse and would appreciate some pointers? Maybe they don't realise what they're doing? I think that willful neglect is a different case to not understanding and needing to learn.
 
Have you spoken to her about it? If you have and she's ignored you, then I would think it's time to say goodbye to her.

I am a sharer rather than an owner, but would always do what the owner asked me to do and would like to told if there's anything I am doing wrong. It's common courtesy to respect the owners wishes in my opinion.
 
I think this actually depends on whether you can replace her - or if you want to. If you need to keep a sharer and you can't replace her then you will have to just speak with her and perhaps monitor her riding or suggets lessons. But if you can replace her or if you have decided you don't want a sharer then say good bye.
 
I am an extremely picky owner of two horses with a sharer each. Both horses are very precious to me.

If I felt one of the sharers was putting my horse in danger or discomfort or even just didn't look after the tack properly I would intervene immediately and monitor progress closely. If I felt things weren't improving I'd say goodbye as it would be a breach of trust for me.

Luckily, I have found the two most amazing sharers who ride and look after my horses at least as well as I am, and we all go out competing together, too!
 
i have showed her how to ride him after she couldn't get him to stay in trot(kept taking off in canter), i have said more than once about bringing him back to her after each jump rather than just letting him hurdle over them, i have suggested lessons on him but they've not happened yet.
i fully understand that it's my responsibilty to explain to her the limitations due to his fitness level/ ability etc, in the same vein he is my responsibilty and so are his vet bills!! I assumed her riding was the likely cause as she's the only one riding him!,plus she had jumped him the day before and even though he refused to break into trot at one point approaching a jump and i told her i thought he'd had enough she put him over another jump a few minutes later when i was talking to a friend:( I am always there when she rides as she is only 15 although if she hacks out i don't always go too if she is with someone.
my op was probably not very well worded (as usual):o OH planted the seed of doubt as to if she was really right for the share and since then i've been to-ing and fro-ing about it:confused: i like her but i just don't know if she really does listen and take note of what i suggest:( and as much as i want to give her a chance (as others have given me throughout my horsey days) part of me is wondering at what cost to me and the horse.
 
I'm fairly relaxed with my sharers so long as I trust they are looking after my horse properly and not getting him into bad habits. I don't expect them to improve him but I also wouldn't put up with it if I thought they were having a negative effect on him.

It's about trust and confidence and, if you don't have it, then I'd seriously re-consider. By all means have a chat as maybe it's a miscommunication etc., but if that doesn't work, or you are worried she's actually damaging him, then I wouldn't put up with it. I'd be surprised if there weren't other sharers available that might be more suited :)
 
Ibblebibble said:
i have showed her how to ride him after she couldn't get him to stay in trot(kept taking off in canter), i have said more than once about bringing him back to her after each jump rather than just letting him hurdle over them, i have suggested lessons on him but they've not happened yet.
i fully understand that it's my responsibilty to explain to her the limitations due to his fitness level/ ability etc, in the same vein he is my responsibilty and so are his vet bills!! I assumed her riding was the likely cause as she's the only one riding him!,plus she had jumped him the day before and even though he refused to break into trot at one point approaching a jump and i told her i thought he'd had enough she put him over another jump a few minutes later when i was talking to a friend:( I am always there when she rides as she is only 15 although if she hacks out i don't always go too if she is with someone.
my op was probably not very well worded (as usual):o OH planted the seed of doubt as to if she was really right for the share and since then i've been to-ing and fro-ing about it:confused: i like her but i just don't know if she really does listen and take note of what i suggest:( and as much as i want to give her a chance (as others have given me throughout my horsey days) part of me is wondering at what cost to me and the horse.
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Have a sit down and proper talk to her about your concerns. Tell her that you would like a lesson to be booked before any more jumping and have a trusted instructor to teach her but to also chat to you as to whether the horse and sharer are suitable for each other realistically.

Personally I'd suggest a fixed number of times the horse can be jumped per week and for the length of time involved, jumps of a certain height limit etc. Remember to be reasonable, would you personally be happy putting him over a jump or not and tell her exactly why you have come to this conclusion, not just put a rule in for no reason. Involve her in the discussion and chat about perhaps if she is the only one riding, sharing vet costs for X,Y,Z or something.

You need a discussion where she doesn't feel cornered though and I'd say she's old enough to discuss by herself with you initially in regards to what she is actually doing with him and if she agrees chat to the parents and her ref lesson arrangements etc

Pan
 
He could just as easily have done it in the field - or with you jumping him.

I don't see that she can have 'caused' his lameness.
 
amymay said:
He could just as easily have done it in the field - or with you jumping him.

I don't see that she can have 'caused' his lameness.
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i haven't ridden him for a month and rarely jump as it's not my thing;), yes he could have done it in the field but his reluctance to jump the previous day after jumping fine already makes me think it happened during that session somewhen:(

Thank you Pan, not going to be an easy discussion given her age and i may have to practice on friends daughter first:o
 
Ibblebibble said:
yes he could have done it in the field but his reluctance to jump the previous day after jumping fine already makes me think it happened during that session somewhen:(
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Well, yes that seems logical.

You still can't say your loaner 'lamed' him though. He simply became lame after being jumped, and leveling blame at her door seems very unfair to me.
 
amymay said:
Well, yes that seems logical.

You still can't say your loaner 'lamed' him though. He simply became lame after being jumped, and leveling blame at her door seems very unfair to me.
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ok fair comment and i accept that, i did rewrite the op about 4 times going from writing a novel on the subject to just those few lines:o

eta can you see why i'm dithering over what to do or say to her as i can't even string a coherant post together after 4 attempts!!!!
 
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Ibblebibble said:
i haven't ridden him for a month and rarely jump as it's not my thing;), yes he could have done it in the field but his reluctance to jump the previous day after jumping fine already makes me think it happened during that session somewhen:(

Thank you Pan, not going to be an easy discussion given her age and i may have to practice on friends daughter first:o
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She is old enough that she will understand your concerns, however I would expect that she will be defensive. I'd suggest that you don't corner or blame at any point as the whole discussion will be pointless, keep it as that a discussion.

Give her notice and list bullet points so you stay on track and discuss what you intend to and don't forget points. Early notice also gives her a chance to compile her own concerns which she may have. I'd also take notes of the discussion so you both have a paper record of both sides.

Speak to her as an adult, don't patronise, but also understand that a discussion may not work on the surface, but it will bring things to a head where they can perhaps be discussed in a simple email at a later date where she won't feel confronted and has time to think about her answers? Also agree to disagree on points that aren't the be all and end all. You may disagree on how it's happened up til now, but that isn't the decider, what happens afterwards is. Give her a fresh page and make that clear to her.

Don't lose face to face discussion and remember words on paper can be misinterpreted but she may be communicate better and more rationally this way afterward.

Pan
 
good advice, thank you,:)
I won't go in all guns blazing laying the blame on her, i'm not that sort, although some think i am sometimes lol:eek: I do blame myself as well for not being firmer over how TB is ridden, when she was riding my big girl i didn't have any issues as with her she makes you work for every step:rolleyes: TB is a sensitive boy though so the riding needs to be adjusted to suit and as the adult here, haha, i have to step up and make things right for my horse and sharer:)
 
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