Tips to improve confidence that has been knocked just enough to be irritating...

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Jinx94

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I had a fall last Sunday, a really silly fall.

I was hacking with a friend on a pony that I didn't know (apparently 14.1, I think they added a few inches). Pony was fairly spooky, but nothing too dramatic. We had a canter, pony was spooking left and right but it really wasn't a problem. Pony then propped and sidestepped and I went from riding to flying pretty quickly. I managed to rebalance myself (mostly) when she propped, it was the sidestep that caught me out.

I'm not injured, but I did bounce my head off of the ground pretty hard. Hat has been replaced, slightly scabby elbows/forearms are healing, pride a little bruised but I'm getting over it.

At the time, I got back on and we walked back to the yard where I took her in the school to have a quick canter on both reins. Last week was spent avoiding riding (but I didn't really realise that was what I was doing). Yesterday Tris and I went out for our first solo hack at 5:45am. He was great, I nearly had a meltdown at the first car we met and the first mile or so before we got off-road was very tense. Today I rode one of the youngsters at work, he's really level headed but unbalanced and the rushing did make me a little nervous. This afternoon Tris and I went to have a play around the cross country field and I was backing off of everything - he stopped at a 40cm log twice! Normally we fly it when we're getting started, but I just couldn't seem to ride him into it. We did get over it in the end and I focused on the elements that I'm confident with, but even those weren't easy.

I'm so, so frustrated. This isn't me and I don't feel like the fall upset me because it was just so daft!! But clearly I'm a bit rattled.

My plan is to stick to flatwork and hacking for the next week, introduce a couple of poles and just gradually work my way back.

Any other tips?? Any mantras?? I think a lesson is a must for a kick up the bum.
 
I find it best to take it slow and steady. For example if it was a jumping accident I'd do a tiny jump/ poles until I was really bored and then work my way up. I find if I take things easy at the start, my confidence comes back quicker.

Try not to be hard on yourself. Think of fear as being something natural and useful; it means your sense of self preservation is working.
 
Sorry to hear about your fall. I agree with mule and I also think there's a fine balance between pushing yourself enough to boost your confidence but not too much so that you dread actually getting on. I've also taught myself to stop whilst it is good so if I had planned to have a small canter around the farm ride or a walk around the block then I will only do that and not be tempted to do more until I feel really ready. Don't be too hard on yourself, sometimes it knocks you more than you think and it's frustrating that it takes so long to build but can disappear in an instance.
 
Agree. I’d go slow and steady, back into your comfort zone before you feel confident enough to gradually push the boundaries again and see how you’re doing confidence wise.
 
We all don't know how we are going to feel after a fall. There are obviously serious and less serious falls, but the impact mentally can be the same. Agree with others, slow and steady, but please do not get stuck in the 'making excuses' rut. It is a slippery slope that will just feed your anxiety. Just do fun stuff and enjoy yourself. Your confidence will come back
 
Can you arrange a lesson with someone who will give you confidence? I find it so much easier when someone is there telling me what to do.
 
Thank you all, will definitely take it slowly.

We had a cracking flat session on Tuesday, worked on our leg yield and shoulder in, did some spirals and generally just had a play, finishing off with a walk around the XC fields. We rarely spend much time in the school as I much prefer hacking and doing any lateral work while we're out and about. Every cloud has a silver lining, so I might as well see this as an opportunity!

He had yesterday off and today I lunged him on the grass, up and down the bank and I figured that I could see how confident Tris was over small fences without me riding like a muppet. He was ace! Flew the log, small rolltop, 65cm rolltop, the not-skinny skinny, ditch, 80cm upright, tiny horseshoe and down the steps. He was such a keen bean about it all but really well behaved, so there's no reason why I shouldn't build his confidence over the fences from the ground while I build mine in general!
 
Thought I'd do a quick update! Can't believe it's only been a couple of weeks since posting this thread.

I seem to have bounced back pretty well. I haven't taken Tris jumping yet, partly because the boys have temporarily moved fields and he likes new grass far more than work :rolleyes:

Having two at work to ride, both very green but sweet, has really helped. The fall probably did me good. I may have been getting a little complacent in my riding which is never a good thing!!

Thank you to everyone for your advice. I'm going to be careful not to overface myself any time soon - no need to try and really wreck my confidence!! :p
 
Jinx94 said:
Thought I'd do a quick update! Can't believe it's only been a couple of weeks since posting this thread.

I seem to have bounced back pretty well. I haven't taken Tris jumping yet, partly because the boys have temporarily moved fields and he likes new grass far more than work :rolleyes:

Having two at work to ride, both very green but sweet, has really helped. The fall probably did me good. I may have been getting a little complacent in my riding which is never a good thing!!

Thank you to everyone for your advice. I'm going to be careful not to overface myself any time soon - no need to try and really wreck my confidence!! :p
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Great news 👍
 
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