To Asti from Callum

[eahotson]

Hi yes I would love to be your new pen pal. We can talk and swop tips about our grusome humans and their unreasonable demands! Mine wanted to ride me TWO DAYS on the trot. Feel the RSPCA is going to hear about this. I am a 14 hand VERY HANDSOME Scottish chap (No not merely big headed like the grusome one says). I am pleasantly rounded and like to take life easy as I am very laid back ( The human says I am fat and lazy NOT TRUE). Looking forward to hearing about you. Callum

 

[Gingernags]

Callum...

Well now, my daft bat does agree there is just something about an accent... scottish ones are rather nice! I'm a yorkshire lass born and bred. They took me to lots of parties to show off this summer as apparently I'm good as a show pony - something about the face of a lady and the backside of a cook? They seem to think thats a good thing??!!

Weather has been pretty rubbish here in the frozen north of England so not getting too much excercise... Went out last week and worried her by being a total angel past two HUGE pigs hiding in the undergrowth next to the bridleway, then going past scary animal farm with all the wierd stuff (geese, guinea fowl, donkeys, mini sh!tlands and a PEACOCK!) without a murmur. Well if I won't go past and threaten to jump in the ditch - the evil bat makes me go backwards - I ask you!

Waited til she was over the shock of that then did a flying leap at a log on the floor instead - gets her every time! Then we went for a "canter" as she thought, but when she let Byter go first, I decided a half rear from standstill to gallop would be waaaaay more fun! She didn't have much choice - ha ha!

Still, I guess she's not too bad, other than decking me out in some bling tinsel (which to be fair is nicely colour co-ordinated) which I'm still not totally happy about, she has bought me yet another warm coat for my stable, which is rather flattering, and apparently that Christmas malarkey isn't far away and I always get lots of treats and food so I best behave for a while. Mind you she DID mention something the other day, I accidentally got her when I was trying to bite that awful cream spotty thing they think is part polar bear (I agree as its definately carnivorous) and I got her head instead, so she was muttering about reprisals and big sticks and no sweeties "for that spoilt ginger madam". At first I thought it couldn't possibly be me but then I remembered I'm the only ginger one... I'm sure I don't know what half the other words were that she called me, but I heard them on Sunday too when I stood on her foot in her silly trainers. Well - you think the dozy moose would know better what half a ton of round and polished equine perfection does to a tiny little fat toe... I'm taking no responsibility for that one!

Ah well, best go before she discovers the grass and drool on the keyboard!

Have fun this Christmas - I'd say don't eat too much but then I'm not sure a horse CAN eat too much eh? Well, thats what I try to teach her!

Love and carrots,

Asti x

 

[eahotson]

Talking of Christmas, does your human keep shovelling chocolates down her neck saying all the time Oh I really shouldn.t! Well she is right about that one, she shouldn't. Says she is going ON THE DIET in January. Is there a human weight loosing diet that consists entirely of cakes, chocolate and alchol? Feel I will need a good back man.Her dog says that I am better off than her though as she has to share a house with her! I am still having nightmares.

 

[Gingernags]

Ah now mine is doing quite well - haven't seen any chocolate in evidence for ages, which is a bit of a b*gger TBH as she always shares! Mind you, Aunty G can always be relied on for sweets.

The mad bat is getting a bit more sprightly, apparently she's lost "more than a stone" though why she'd be carrying stones round anyway is a bit of a mystery. Ah well, I figure we are guaranteed at least one likit, loads of polos, apples and carrots over Christmas. They have a couple of mates who come see us who are suckers for the pretty pleading looks we can do - all huge eyed and appealing - if you give them kisses and crawl round them they are putty I tell you - we always score extra goodies off them!

Oh and daft bats fella - we don't see much of him, he doesn't tend to bother us much and never rides or anything, just helps out bringing us in now and again or helping bring the food in - we love him! We can always rely on him to give us far too many sweets when she's not looking - we can usally score some nice apple biccies off him at Christmas too! He's a pushover but we aren't mean to him as he's far less hassle than anyone else. I've adopted him as my Dad, which is good as he'll sneak me more food than the other two!

I heard a nasty rumourn that we are off poncing about in February again, that pesky dressage stuff, but its easier than jumping or long rides, and of course gets me away from the heathen. Though I miss going out with Byter more, we were great mates til she had that thing - sends your brains to mush having kids! Plus I wouldn't have any brat of mine behaving like that one - no respect at all. Mind, she's learned not to annoy me too much now as I bite her when her mum isn't looking! Ha ha! Serves her right for annoying me. Always hangs around plaguing me, but she's starting to get the message!

Have a happy Christmas anyway, hope you get lots of goodies!!!

Asti x x x