To keep a missold horse or not

[Stingbably]

I bought a horse at Christmas he was supposed to be a normal horse doesn’t bolt rear easy to catch good with farrier jump riding club etc. When I got in home he was very sensitive I could not get on him, I cannot get him on him now without somebody being there and they can’t hold him and they have to stand in front. I then have to walk around the wrong side and slowly desensitise him by patting him as I move around him and then get on from the lower levels of a mountain block. We’ve had lessons with a riding instructor since I bought him and spent the whole time just trying to slow things down treating him as if he was a green horse he isn’t he has been shown at high-level. But I’ve since found out he only went to 3 shows one of them being our RI. When it comes to jumping we’ve taken it very very slowly only done it twice. One time in the school when somebody had been previously jumping and left poles on the floor he completely freaked out and bolted but I was able to stop him. We then had one successful jumping lesson again taking things very slowly. We only jumped 3 fences in a row very small with guidepoles and he was very fast. The next time I went to jump him again with the riding instructor she was just putting fences up I was just warming up, trying to slow down doing circles, I brought him into one circle. he thought that we were jumping the fence, I brought him away as he was going very fast and I wasn’t jumping the jump. Then he panicked and bolted he bolted around our arena 6/7 laps at flat outgallop there was no stopping him at all he was completely out of control. I turned him into the hedge that lines our sand school. And he went up the hedge. The next lap I had no choice but to make an exit and this slammed me into the hedge. After this with discussions with my riding instructor we decided maybe he needed to have more work than I was able to do and to send him away to a professional to see if his behaviour will change with being worked daily and if it did then I would sell him on to a more competitive home.

We contacted the professional advise them of what he done they took him and on the first time that they tried to ride him he bolted within 30 seconds of them sitting on him.

Since then I have contacted the dealer and have come to an agreement (as long as she goes by her word) that she’s going to pick him up in one months time and refund me my money. He is a very beautiful horse. He is a kind personality albeit very sensitive and nervous

I’ve only had him for 4 months and he wasn’t the horse that was described to me from the dealer. I do feel very guilty sending him back, he didn’t come in the best of states when I bought him. Has anyone had any experience with horses like this.

He has not been checked by a vet. He had had his teeth done, back checked by a physio. We have had a natural horseman to help with mounting issues and I have done ground work with him in the school to try and help him with his sensitivity.
He will only be caught by me and one other person on my yard, he has had problems behaving for the farrier and I have only been able to hack him with others as he tried to spin and bolt at a sign. He has had saddle checked, bit checked.

I am an experience rider, I have been through pony club to b test and competed up to newcomers bsja, and have worked in the industry at a stud farm. A few years ago I also had parelli lessons when I had a youngster.
I am currently at a wobbly stage, I haven’t ridden him since he came back from the professional 4 weeks ago. So maybe absence is making me braver.

(Also after he came back he panicked when I was putting his headcollar on in the stable and knocked me out, giving me concussion and very nearly fracturing my cheek bone when I was slammed into the stable wall)

I feel sorry for him, but will he ever be the horse that I thought I was buying? How much work will have to be done.

I would appreciate no negative comments and would really like to know if I keep him what my journey would be to get him to be a manageable horse, as a mother of 2 small children I also need to figure out if it is possible for me to do this.
The dealer is taking the horse back and both have agree he was not as sold

 

[little_critter]

I think if you are struggling this much with him, and the dealer has agreed to take him back, then I would send him back.
If it was just a few little issues that with some help you felt you could overcome then maybe consider it, but I feel this is too much of a gap between what you wanted and what you've got.

 

[stormox]

I would definately get him thoroughly checked by a good equine vet.

 

[IrishMilo]

Do you have in writing that the dealer will take the horse back? Because that's the first thing I would get done before she changes her mind. Absolutely send him back unless you want to dedicate the next year or so to serious training and extensive vet work ups. He's not worth a serious accident over. I used to ride a horse who would do this - be fine one minute and then suddenly take off at break neck speed around the school, almost falling over on every corner. It's the only horse I've ever refused to ride again.

 

[CMcC]

I am not sure why you are even asking if you should send him back to the dealer.
Given what you have described and your personal situation I would have no hesitation in returning him. You are lucky that after 5 months the dealer is willing to do this.

 

[Polos Mum]

It sounds like the dealer is being very fair in giving you a refund.

If after 4 months with lessons and professional help you are not happy to ride him - unless you want to keep him as a pet and never ride him I would let him go back to the dealer and try and find something more suitable.

He may never be ridable for you and me may have vet issues that are unfixable. If you start down the vet route (as many on here will suggest) then it's a massive and expensive can of worms that even after all the time and money might not result in a rideable horse.

This is (presumably) your hobby and something you do for fun - this horse may never be that.

If you are endlessly rich then maybe think about giving him a comfortable retirement - very few people could afford to write off the cost so I fully sympathise with you returning him

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I'd send him back in these circusmtances without hesitation as the dealer sounds responsible and sound. She does not need to take him back - you are wll outside the time frame for returning him and many dealers would just say 'he was fine when he left here' and it's hard to prove otherwise 4 months down the line.

He is not what you wanted or thought you were getting. So it would be an easy decision for me. Far harder if the dealer was dodgy as. But actually the dodgy dealers rely on people refusing to return horses to them which is why their 'business model' of mis-selling works for them and is why they keep doing it. So even with a terrible dealer I might return on principle.

 

[WispyBegs]

I am sorry to hear of the trouble you are having with your new horse.
If I’m being honest if I was in your situation I would most definitely be giving him back to the dealer.

I feel when reading your post, that seeing as the horse compromises your safety and is obviously not what you thought you were purchasing then it is a clear cut decision to hand him back.

For me it would not be viable enough to keep a horse purely because I felt sorry for it.

 

[Winters100]

As IrishMilo says I would get written confirmation from the dealer immediately. I don't see any reason to keep the horse, regardless of what is causing this it is probably never going to be a horse for you. To me it sounds like pain and, especially if you did not get the horse vetted who knows what problems there might be. Did the dealer give you a reason for waiting a month? Because if possible I would try to return it ASAP.

 

[Stingbably]

yes I am doing it through a solicitor. It hasn’t been a easy journey. And taken son negotiation. She said she would take him back but didn’t have the money, and by that date she would. She has agree to pick him up (it’s a 5 hour journey) and I agreed to keep him till then. It was advise to go through this route as court could take a lot longer, even though I could claim all the costs back, this seem a less stressful option. So if she goes with what was agreed it is the quickest, easiest way.

 

[Jenko109]

Not read all replies. Yes of course you should send him back.

I wonder if he has an eye sight problem? Bit strange to freak over random things like a headcollar which he must wear literally all the time.

 

[stormox]

I believe you posted about this horse before? If you have come to an agreement with the dealer why are you even asking again what you should do?

 

[MuddyMonster]

Ditto Stormox.

If you're going through a legal process too, you may want to consider deleting the post too.

 

[Stingbably]

Yes I have posted before, it is about the same horse/ topic but a completely different question. I am posting to get advice and opinions, this is a very emotional and upsetting time, my previous horse I had for 18 years. I bought this horse with the intention to keep for its life. If you feel that I should not be asking questions then that is your opinion. I would rather have as much information as I can get to make a informed decision that directly impacts on my life.

 

[DabDab]

Other posters are just trying to help. If you are going through legal channels and have come to an arrangement then the absolute last thing you need to be doing is putting threads on here about it. Stick with your lawyers advice and on the ethical question best to speak to people irl.

 

[stormox]

Yes I have posted before, it is about the same horse/ topic but a completely different question. I am posting to get advice and opinions, this is a very emotional and upsetting time, my previous horse I had for 18 years. I bought this horse with the intention to keep for its life. If you feel that I should not be asking questions then that is your opinion. I would rather have as much information as I can get to make a informed decision that directly impacts on my life.

I assumed you had made an informed decision as you have come to an arrangement with the dealer.

 

[SpotsandBays]

Send him back. The fact that you are questioning it means he’s not the right horse for you. Also in an ideal world this horse needs an extensive work up to find out what’s going on - and that can be a long, expensive road with no guarantee of a good ending.
you have a family to think about also

 

[Melody Grey]

The behaviour you describe is a massive red flag for pain related behaviour or possibly an abusive past (or both?!). Sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Definitely return the horse, for me it’s a no-brainer. Well done with getting the dealer to take the horse back though, that’s a blessing.
There are many other horses out there that would suit you (or anyone else by the sounds of it!) better OP.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I believe you posted about this horse before? If you have come to an agreement with the dealer why are you even asking again what you should do?

Thought it sounded familiar.

200+ replies on a thread the OP posted a few weeks ago about the same horse. Not sure why a new thread is needed.

https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/stuck-mis-sold-horse.804300/

 

[splashgirl45]

why on earth hasnt this horse been thoroughly checked over by a vet, he could have back problems or ulcers , horses usually come round with kind, firm handling , as you didnt have him vetted you dont know if he had been sedated, also when a horse is in poor condition he will be easier to handle/ride etc and he may be the type of horse who has to be kept out 24/7 and ridden regularly. it sounds as though he now has more food and less/no work and is not going to be the horse you tried....lets hope the dealer takes him back and sells him to the correct home and the horse doesnt go through the same scenario. its the horse i feel sorry for...

 

[Winters100]

I did not realise that this was connected to the previous thread. Really OP, I am sorry to be harsh, but you have a horse showing signs of pain and have called in a 'horse whisperer' (whatever that is in reality), but not a vet? Why? I just don't get that at all. Agree with Splashgirl45, it is the poor horse who is the victim here, if you had pain for 5 months would you prefer to see a doctor or some random person who claimed to be able to communicate with you?

This might sound incredibly harsh, but I really do not think you should own a horse.

 

[Ossy2]

Absolutely would send back in this situation your safety is definitely compromised and TBH if you were a livery on my yard I’d be seriously worried about a very nasty accident happening.
please make sure you have the money back in your hands before the horse goes on the wagon back to the dealer.

 

[Stingbably]

I did not realise that this was connected to the previous thread. Really OP, I am sorry to be harsh, but you have a horse showing signs of pain and have called in a 'horse whisperer' (whatever that is in reality), but not a vet? Why? I just don't get that at all. Agree with Splashgirl45, it is the poor horse who is the victim here, if you had pain for 5 months would you prefer to see a doctor or some random person who claimed to be able to communicate with you?

This might sound incredibly harsh, but I really do not think you should own a horse.

was it my post you read or what other people had written, no sign of pain has been shown, the ‘horse whisper’ was brought in to help with mounting issue. If there was signs of pain then a vet would be involved. There hasn’t.

 

[Winters100]

was it my post you read or what other people had written, no sign of pain has been shown, the ‘horse whisper’ was brought in to help with mounting issue. If there was signs of pain then a vet would be involved. There hasn’t.

You said in the last thread "He’s head shy and sensitive to brush, shoots to the back of the stable when you enter, tried to kick me when I tried to brush his more sensitive side"

Sounds like pain to me.

Edited to add that there is a lot that does not make sense here:

"After this with discussions with my riding instructor we decided maybe he needed to have more work than I was able to do and to send him away to a professional to see if his behaviour will change with being worked daily and if it did then I would sell him on to a more competitive home.

We contacted the professional advise them of what he done they took him and on the first time that they tried to ride him he bolted within 30 seconds of them sitting on him."

I simply cannot imagine any pro who would take this horse on without requiring vet input. Poor animal, I hope he has better luck next time.

 

[SpotsandBays]

was it my post you read or what other people had written, no sign of pain has been shown, the ‘horse whisper’ was brought in to help with mounting issue. If there was signs of pain then a vet would be involved. There hasn’t.

Being reluctant to mount could definitely be signs of something being painful for the horse.

 

[Goldenstar]

If you think the horse you describe is showing no signs of things that can be caused by pain , then I really think you need to gain more experience before getting another horse .
Do return the horse I feel so sorry for the horse but it is what you should do .

 

[AmyMay]

Well, obviously the horse should be returned for a whole host of reasons. The dealer is agreeable to it being returned. So yes, return it.

 

[Bellaboo18]

If you think the horse you describe is showing no signs of things that can be caused by pain , then I really think you need to gain more experience before getting another horse .
Do return the horse I feel so sorry for the horse but it is what you should do .

This.
The horse is in pain.
You admitted on the previous post the horse needs to be seen by a vet but still haven't booked one.
If the dealer agrees to have him back after 5 months, I think you're very lucky. Send him back.

 

[Upthecreek]

was it my post you read or what other people had written, no sign of pain has been shown, the ‘horse whisper’ was brought in to help with mounting issue. If there was signs of pain then a vet would be involved. There hasn’t.

Virtually all of the behaviour you described in this post and your previous post are signs/symptoms of pain. The horse is practically shouting and screaming at you physically that it is hurting.

 

[DabDab]

was it my post you read or what other people had written, no sign of pain has been shown, the ‘horse whisper’ was brought in to help with mounting issue. If there was signs of pain then a vet would be involved. There hasn’t.

You have two thread's worth of pain symptoms. Almost everything you have said about this horse screams pain and mental distress to me.

Not quite sure what kind of reassurance you are after with respect to this situation but I'm not sure you are going to find much of it here. I'm pretty sure this thread will just make you feel worse.