To the divorced and separated..

madmav

madmav

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..any regrets? Just wondering if I could have done more to make things work. How have you managed to move on to new relationships or being happy single. If you have children, how are they coping? Struggling with all of these thoughts at the moment. Also, how do you get a new relationship? Feeling a bit meh about it all.
 
I left my hubby and divorced 15Years ago. no one to blame. my daughter stayed with dad. we never fought or argued over her and me amd daughter have amazing strong loving relationship. left abuse relatiinship 5 years ago. think womens refuggee etc. marrying the most loving king gentle man june next year. after many dark dark frightening years he showed how to smile and laugh. he showed me how good life can be. im a lucky lady :)
 
Btw me and my gorgeous guy met on line. Lots of wierdos but there are genuine guys. we talked by mail for ages before meeting . regrets no none. some very low times but no regrets :)
 
No, no. no. no! No regrets at getting divorced - if I was still married I wouldn't have my job, my horse, my house, my dogs, my own life, I can do what the hell I want when the hell I want to!
 
Im currently going through this now and i cant wait til its over!! My husband is making it as unpleasant as possible and even had a court order put on me saying that i was incapable of looking after our daughter even tho im her main carer and always have been, the court hearing was yesterday and the judge overturned it as i have official evidence in my favour, im allowed to move to what will be my new home and take my daughter with me. Hes got to prove himself that hes capable of caring for her properly and until he does hes not allowed her overnight. Hes being difficult about letting me have anything that weve bought or been given as a couple so other than my daughters things and mine he can keep the lot. Being with him has seriously put me off men and i now dont trust them.
 
I married young and on a whim. My mum had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and she wanted to see me get married. It was the day after my 25th birthday. The wedding was sorted in 2 weeks, it was done on the very cheap with no one there and was a massive mistake. Id been with the guy for 5 years and although we were already engaged, the relationship was going down hill.

We separated not long after and it was very hard on me. He was my first serious relationship and it took a long long time to get over it. I did though, and I met my OH a year later. He is amazing and has meant I could have my own horse again, we own our home, both drive nice cars and are currently planning our dream wedding! Mum is still around by some miracle and she doesnt even remember the first wedding as she was so poorly!

There is most definitely life after divorce. It will be very hard to get through and you may feel you will never be happy again, but you will be. I can assure you that xx
 
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It takes time.

Initially I was pleased to be rid, then I went through the rose coloured specs phase where I though I regretted it, then I was shattered when he soon after got engaged to someone else and I hadn't recovered. Finally I was in a good enough place to realise when I'd met someone wonderful (went through a phase of pushing people away and not trusting). I married him five years ago and have been with him 8. Nowadays I look back on all the nastiness he put me through with nothing but indifference, no real emotions, and that's a nice stage to be at.

Incidentally, hubby is in a similar boat, but he has a child with his ex, so much more contact is a fact. That is much harder.

Chin up. You will get there.
 
Only regret is marrying the swine in the first place lol! But then I wouldn't who and what and where I am now if I hadn't :D No regrets really and it does get better and as others have said it does take time, probably longer than you think.

Chin up and look for the positives in everything, you'll get there x
 
My divorce was hard on my kids, but they survived and grew old enough to see through lies and manipulation, I was alone for 15 yrs with very few BF's, met my OH at work and were friends for years at work, then he got cancer (now fine) it made us realise how much we loved each other, soppy I know so we got married. My kids love my OH and visit often, they duty visit their real dad, who is now facing a lonely old age and I have everything I could ask for, apart from a lottery win, be patient, things will get better
 
Give yorself time to heal, time to reflect why you are seperated, sit there at night in you jim jams with feet on the couch and think what you were not allowed to do, but you can do now, and get on and enjoy your time, your horses, your family, if you get sad, get busy, dont go looking for love, it will find you when the time is right, chin up
 
I always think life takes us down particular roads for a reason. if i hadnt worked temping i wouldnt have met abusive partner and moved th cheshire and then i wouldnt have had babymare then do a runner from partner and meet my future husband & gorgeous fella. ok some very very bad times but the roads of life have led me to where i am now. happy beyond happy content and at peace with mself. its all for a reason :)
 
As others have said, you just need to give yourself time. Getting married is a big decision but getting divorced is even bigger! For me, it was heart wrenching leaving a home and life I loved for a single life. But then I met my current OH and, fast forward through a few ups and downs, we're happily married, I have a horse, a lovely home, friends, nice cars and other stuff. In short, it was grim while it was happening but I'm in a better place now. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the space to get over it and stay positive. Better times are ahead of you. Good luck.
 
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