To those that remember me - bye

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madabout2

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Its been several years since I first joined the forum and it is with sadness that I will now be ducking out of the horse world.

You have been a supportive bunch over the years and full of good advice.

I will give the reason and avoid being defamatory! But my OH of 24 years(!) has left me and our 2 children to move in with my dressage trainer and so called friend - no warning just got up and left. Obviously I have had to let the horses go and I no longer want to spectate at dressage competitions. Sorry I am a little bitter.

So thanks again and a warning to you all - never let your man go and groom for anyone!

cheers
R
 
What happened to hell hath no fury ect? Sorry that you have found yourself in this position.

Not sure why that means the horses had to go - especially as you have kids, so can bleed your OH dry quite legally!!!

Good luck.
 
Sorry to hear this. I hope life has an upward turn for you and that you will, in later years, look back on this event as something which turned your life around for the better.

Very best wishes to you,

Tia x
 
how awful
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I can't imagine how upset and angry you must be! People can be such horrible things
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huge hugs to you
 
F*****g hell thats terrible. What a total pondlife worm of a bloke.

Reckon you're miles better off without that one.

I wish you all the very best but maybe would keeping your hand in with horses not help you ?
 
If you want the horses keep them - and give up dressage and come over to showing!

Seriously so sorry to hear this, I think you need to check with a lawyer before giving everything up.

Big hug
 
R,

Shoot me a PM if you get chance..... i worked out a while ago you used the forums but you hadnt been around (its victoria... with jack... as in Sonia websters (but not there anymore)). If you need *anything* just let me know. You dont deserve that
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So So sorry to hear your devasting situation.

What an absolute COW! - How could she do this to you. Clearly neither of them have any morralls.

Be strong and keep your head held high.

Best Wishes x
 
hey sorry to hear this what a total wanker , similar happened to me
its all about the sex they will soon see the light and he will be creepin back so dont let him back
dont give up the horses just coz of him !!! make him move yards if thats the prob
men they always think with there dicks
hate them all lol
 
what a horrible situation to be in - as others have rightly said- bollox to giving up the horses- keep them and make the soab pay for them the cheating lying scumbag.

Dont give up what you love just because he's an a-hole- and don't your kids want to keep the horses?
 
That's awful! But look at it this way, at least you're shot of him! Let him make her miserable as he's obviously not the bloke you thought he was!

Keep your horses, find a new trainer and go and wipe the floor with them at comps!!!!

... you could always find yourself a nice young groom to come with you too!
 
thats really horrible but don't give up your horses! they will be your sanity! don't let his a**hole behaviour affect your plesure in life!

Keep your horses, keep competing and wipe the floor with her! As others have said, milk him dry for doing this to you. Turn it into something positive - you are shot of the pr**k, you are shot of an instructor that you obviously can't trust. No body needs people like that in their lives!

don't let them affect your life like that and for the love of god, when the novelty wears off, DON'T take him back!!!!

(((HUGS))))
 
As someone who lost their husband to a friend I can kind of understand what you are going through right now.
Although our marriage had probably hit rock bottom anyway ( had been together 14 years) there is no way of knowing if it could have been saved if the other person had not been on the scene so to speak.
All I can say from my pov is my life has improved for the better. I am happier to a degree. I feel more stable and for one I would probably not have had the horses now if I had still been married.
I know you feel angry hell I did but in my case it was a delayed reaction and one that took around 6 months to a year to surface. I think I was most probably confused at the time and having only ever been in one serious relationship perhaps a little naive about breakups ( although my parents split, got back togther, split, together and then divorced).
My experience has made me a stronger person though and to some degree it has perhaps made me a tad more selfish in that I no longer want to keep sacrificing things that make me happy just to keep everyone around me feeling happy.
The rollercoaster of emotions will eventually stop though and one day you will wake up and think why the hell did I cry, punish myself, make sacrifices over that little 'turd' of a man. Sorry not trying to be horrible about your ex but I just can't abide infidelity for whatever reason.
Like others have said though I would seriously take legal advice on this break up. Not only for financial implications but also to give you peace of mind and stability.
The house, bills, maintenance etc are all things that need to be sorted. Sorry not trying to lecture but I know it can be hard to get your head around such stuff when you have conflicting emotions of anger and grief towards your husband and friend.
I also agree with others about the horses.
Don't give up on them.
I can understand the point about dressage though and the sport will be a constant reminder through its association with your ex and your former friend.
If you still care about horses then why not consider another area, showing, jumping, endurance, le trec and even just happy hacking.
Why let them take you away from something you have enjoyed?
Sorry this is a long post btw ......
Whatever you decide to do though, put yourself and your feelings and happiness first.
I wish you the very best of luck for the future and will keep my fingers crossed that everything sorts itself out and that you turn a corner both emotionally and financially.
It will one day, don't worry x
best wishes
Caroline x
 
I'm sure there's lots of people on here who don't have horses. And I'm sure that you have a wealth of experience, and advice to offer.

Stay with us, come on here, and get all the hugs and emotional support that HHF can offer.

To start this offer of support ~ i'll lend you my winkle picker shoes, so you can give him a swift kick up the nuts!

X
 
Bet you miss the horses more than the husband! I'm sure in time things will get back on track for you - sendings you ((hugs)) and positive vibes.
 
What a ba***rd! If he's that shallow, he doesn't deserve you or your kids. The best revenge you could have now is to get on with your life, be happy and carry on doing the things that you love - don't let this vile pair put you off! Best wishes to you and I hope you'll be back on the forum soon.
 
I know what you're going thro. My OH left me for my 'friend', when my daughter was 7 and my son 18 months old. Friend was also our agility trainer. I tried carrying on with agility but didn't enjoy it. However as others say there are other horsey disciplines you could enjoy. However I also know from bitter experience that its not that easy getting a fair settlement from an ex, even if you have got children. Don't be brow beaten into giving up everything, and believe me, tough as it was 11 years later I am very happy (tho still single) and have happy well balanced kids to boot. You may find coming onto the forum to sound off will help, I'm quite new on here but have found everyone very friendly and supportive when needed. if talking to someone, even a stranger, helps, please feel free to pm me. x
 
I am so sorry to hear your situation and am sending you my biggest hugs!

Right now you should do whatever makes you happy and is the least stressfull path for you and kiddies.

Although I may agree that right at this moment you may want the horses gone to focus on you and the kids, I suspect that you will change your mind about horses for the future. He cheated the horses sis not. In time I hope that your passion comes back and happiness is yours in every respect of life!
 
Hunni, I can only echo what everyone else has said. You are probably not thinking straight atm which is understandable - 1000000 thoughts going through your head and cant see the wood for the trees.

When the solicitors get involved (££££££) he will feel so guilty about what he has done, but your ex-friend will be behind him working him like a puppet and out for every penny, afterall, its her future and she will want to feather her nest so to speak.

You have to get tough now. If you cant, get a friend to act as an intermediary.

Personally, I wouldnt give up the dressage if that is your love. Hiding from your fears doesnt work, you have to 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. Hun, you are better than this and dont need to hide away in shame. As someone else said, find yourself a 'better' trainer and go get 'em.

Please PM me if you need to talk xx
 
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