To "turn away" or not to "turn away", that is the question!

S

Shib_xsx

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 September 2018
Messages
68
Visit site
My 3 year old has moved to several yards after me needing to relocate soon after I bought her (not forseen). She's now on individual turnout at a very nice yard on DIY and stabled every night. But being 3, if she's left without neighbors she paces, she's suspected to have ulcers, and her attitude has gone down the drain (on her own she now thinks she's little miss big bol****s). Starting her lightly over the winter is one option as she's probably bored too and would help with her manners. However looking at her, knowing her, I can't help but think she should be happier turned away for the winter, so about 5 months, until march/April, when it's getting warmer, then start her and she's more mature (easier too, I'll have some light after work). People on the yard say, don't move her, she's only been here 7 weeks, but she isn't coping as well as I'd hoped.

Please help!
 
I would probably want to either turn her away into a decent field with company for the winter or find a more suitable yard where she will have company in with her rather than individual turnout which may work for some but is obviously not working for her, I don't think it will get better if you wait and may well get worse, this is not a slightly unsettled mature horse but a stressed youngster that may not cope if you start work now with her in a stressed state.
 
be positive said:
I would probably want to either turn her away into a decent field with company for the winter or find a more suitable yard where she will have company in with her rather than individual turnout which may work for some but is obviously not working for her, I don't think it will get better if you wait and may well get worse, this is not a slightly unsettled mature horse but a stressed youngster that may not cope if you start work now with her in a stressed state.
Click to expand...
This is my thought entirely, but the "ones that know best" have thrown me into turmoil. To top it off, she's started with the food aggression and bit someone who went into her stable to give her hay, then went back in to get the hay out her water bucket (15mins before I was due down but anyway) so now we're lepers 😥
 
7 weeks is long enough to tell isn't it, this isn't just settling (been through that, she settles fairly well) this is distressed isn't it 🤔
 
Turn her away, you're only setting yourself up for failure if your youngster now has suspected ulcers and you're not changing her environment to alleviate her stress. She's not little miss big boll***s, she's scared and lonely. The ones that know best know eff all in this situation.
 
9tails said:
Turn her away, you're only setting yourself up for failure if your youngster now has suspected ulcers and you're not changing her environment to alleviate her stress. She's not little miss big boll***s, she's scared and lonely. The ones that know best know eff all in this situation.
Click to expand...
Thank you 😊
 
I don't think the question should be turn her away or start work but keep her alone or find her some company.... And my view would be find her some company. And not just for the winter but longer term. Horses don't like being alone. Some adapt, some don't. She's telling you she is unhappy with her current living arrangements. Do you have to move her for company? Why are they on individual turnout?
 
Should add this is the same place a yearling is being kept (and bullied into submission) in the same individual turnout situation 😢
 
Ambers Echo said:
I don't think the question should be turn her away or start work but keep her alone or find her some company.... And my view would be find her some company. And not just for the winter but longer term. Horses don't like being alone. Some adapt, some don't. She's telling you she is unhappy with her current living arrangements. Do you have to move her for company? Why are they on individual turnout?
Click to expand...
It's the policy of the yard, unless you own two then they can share. I can't afford another, not yet, and not previously needed to as she's never been alone. A lady offered to put hers in with mine and I'd do her duties,but the original lady who she paid to help her made a fuss, so that's not an option. Turned away she will have horsey friends to teach her horsey ways. I know what she needs just doubting myself because if others
 
Siobhanelizabeth said:
This is my thought entirely, but the "ones that know best" have thrown me into turmoil. To top it off, she's started with the food aggression and bit someone who went into her stable to give her hay, then went back in to get the hay out her water bucket (15mins before I was due down but anyway) so now we're lepers 😥
Click to expand...

I am a YO and want to know all the horses here are happy and settled, I have had many arrive who seemed to take a deep breath and relax immediately , they are often the ones that have been on yards with individual turnout, ignore the know alls and listen to your horse, food aggression is not a sign of a content horse and 7 weeks is plenty long enough if she is getting worse not better.
 
be positive said:
I am a YO and want to know all the horses here are happy and settled, I have had many arrive who seemed to take a deep breath and relax immediately , they are often the ones that have been on yards with individual turnout, ignore the know alls and listen to your horse, food aggression is not a sign of a content horse and 7
Click to expand...
Faracat said:
I looked at your old thread. https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/horse-getting-more-aggressive-with-her-food.768787/

I know this may sound harsh (and please understand that I mean it kindly), but are you sure that an unbacked three year old is the right horse for you?
Click to expand...
The previous thread is an extension of this. The behaviour, the aggression, the unhappiness, has all been since I had her back, on individual turnout, and it is getting worse. Was told I should wait for a at least 3 months or start working her she's bored. She's bored yes, but she's a baby, she should be frolicing in a field. When I bought her I put her in a huge field, turned out with others, stable that she was getting used to gradually, did groundwork, lay on her, liberty and straightness training, the lot, she was perfect. Relocating was not on the cards (not so soon anyway). I'm only in this turmoil because I know what's best for my baby, and have listened to everyone in order to do the right thing as I felt so bad about uprooting her. I'm having the same conversations about my human 4 year old. (Editing because I should have proof read it)
 
Horse live in the moment, although bad experiences can leave their mark, usually a move is no big deal if wherever they end up is somewhere they are content, I would move every week and not feel bad if each yard did not live up to expectations and my horse was unhappy, she will not care in the least about another move if it means living a better life than she has now.

It can be hard to ignore the expert advice given by people on yards who are happy, it just takes some self belief to move on and not look back, horses are much more simple than children I will not advise on childcare which is totally outside my experience.
 
be positive said:
Horse live in the moment, although bad experiences can leave their mark, usually a move is no big deal if wherever they end up is somewhere they are content, I would move every week and not feel bad if each yard did not live up to expectations and my horse was unhappy, she will not care in the least about another move if it means living a better life than she has now.

It can be hard to ignore the expert advice given by people on yards who are happy, it just takes some self belief to move on and not look back.
Click to expand...
Thank you (big deep breath)
 
Faracat said:
Essentially, you seem out of your depth.
Click to expand...
Never uprooted my son and horse to move 180 miles away before, on my own with very little support from anyone as they think I'm mad, so yes, I'm probably a little out of my depth and insecure, doubting I that I know what's best in every aspect of my life, not just my horses.
 
Siobhanelizabeth said:
Never uprooted my son and horse to move 180 miles away before, on my own with very little support from anyone as they think I'm mad, so yes, I'm probably a little out of my depth and insecure, doubting I that I know what's best in every aspect of my life, not just my horses.
Click to expand...
In addition, I agree, previously 5 is the youngest I've gone.
 
Siobhanelizabeth said:
Never uprooted my son and horse to move 180 miles away before, on my own with very little support from anyone as they think I'm mad, so yes, I'm probably a little out of my depth and insecure, doubting I that I know what's best in every aspect of my life, not just my horses.
Click to expand...

Find yourself a local stud and turn her away on youngstock livery.

Give yourself a few months to settle into your new life and find your feet, then when your head is in a better place send her somewhere reputable for breaking in. During that timeframe you can be looking at potential future yards.

Good luck!
 
ihatework said:
Find yourself a local stud and turn her away on youngstock livery.

Give yourself a few months to settle into your new life and find your feet, then when your head is in a better place send her somewhere reputable for breaking in. During that timeframe you can be looking at potential future yards.

Good luck!
Click to expand...
Thanks, I agree 😊
 
I think that FC is possibly suggesting that the fact that you are attempting to keep an unbroken 3 year old in individual turnout, and are unsure of whether you should move/ how to deal with her behaviour, suggests you might not be experienced enough for a youngster - especially since you're on a budget and have limited back up. That may be the case. However...

You'll only improve things by turning her away - you will give yourself more time to adjust to your move, and probably free up some money to put towards getting help when you come to backing her next year. Her behaviour and her manner should improve, and she should be happier. Staying put will - probably - do the opposite.

Leave the guilt, and the other issues (children etc) out of it - they're not helping. Make the best decision for the horse, and that will free up mental space for you to sort out any other issues in your life.
 
Everyone has been out of their depth at times and I can see that things have been very tough for you and not just with the horse. The main thing is what you do from here to improve the situation. Putting your filly on youngstock livery would be a really good idea.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top