Too Late to make ammends?

[basilbrush2009]

Something that has been playing on my mind recently is how i left my old yard

had been there 6 years or so loaning one of there horses and had my own alongside throughout.

they were fantastic with regards to livery, stopped charging me for the loan horse when he retired and just genereally great with everything regards to help and equipment. never would see the horses go with out if hay was late or anything etc
also very good with me when i lost my job and oweed them two months rent, always reassuring me to pay when i can not to worry etc.
i also helped them out alot, helping to muck there horses out before work in the winter and on the weekends at the riding school when it was running.
towards the end things got a bit sour, i think it sparked from them having a go at me for leaving my horses out all day in the pouring rain. granted it was torential, but they all had rugs on to be fair and it wasnt winter lol
things were said, and i mentioned selling one of my horses and i felt they went a bit funny and more things were said so i decided to leave with both (becuase of the things that were said although looking back now i know they didnt mean them)tried to do it on a good note and didnt neccesarily leave with arguements on the day ect one of my horses was being sold to a friend and the other was being loaned for a little bit by another friend not too far away so that was the reasoning i gave.
however, have not spoken to them since, the horse i loaned from them has now been sold which completly gutted me i feel like i betrayed him by moving yards. and not heard a peep from them.

But, i miss the yard, i loved the owners to peices despite how it all went tits up at the end. they are genuine people and i really really would like to make ammends. is it too late? how the hell would i go about it? call? send a letter? but what would i say!?
or shud i just not bother and push it out my mind?

 

[Delicious_D]

Have they tried contacting you at all?

People move yards, yes it does seem that yard treated you very well and in light of what sparked the intial upset and remember what they did for you, could you have not taken it on the chin?

People move yards, people move on. You could send a text asking how they are etc but really noone can advise of the situation as its very one sided.

 

[boxcarhorse]

Why don't you just write them a card, saying you'd heard about the loan horse being sold and that triggered you wanting to get in touch. And that you simply wanted to say thank you for all their support over the years and that it would be lovely to meet up again sometime soon?

I think it would be a great thing to do.

 

[ltoolan]

Why don't you just write them a card, saying you'd heard about the loan horse being sold and that triggered you wanting to get in touch. And that you simply wanted to say thank you for all their support over the years and that it would be lovely to meet up again sometime soon?

I think it would be a great thing to do.

I agree...it may wise to go as far as to apologise and say that distance has given you some perspective. If they are as nice as you say, it's likely to mean a lot to them and assist in restoring your friendship and mutual trust, as there would be no awkward unfinished business. What you may need to be prepared for is no apology in return (seems unlikely) so just make sure you're big enough to swallow it, move on and be friends once again.

The fact you're prepared to be so honest about the situation is an example of your integrity and is to be respected.

Good luck!

 

[basilbrush2009]

Thanks guys, I have called up and asked to go up and talk to them to clear the air and apologise. He said hes in the pub but will def call me back to let me know when they are both in. seemed fine and assured me that they hold no malice.
Really apreciate the advise. i was so nervous but really want to make things up so feeling much better at the moment hopefully he comes back to me, if not I have called and apologised and made the effort

 

[councillor]

I have been in similar situation to this. Not going into details, but I got very hurt by it all. I tried to keep in contact, and stay friends, but too much water had passed under the bridge and even though I tried to forget what was said and done to me it was still always there in the background.
I honestly have spent the last year grieving the loss of friendship and belonging I had there. But it has gone, and no matter how much I want it back it will never happen.
I found the yard I am now at seven months ago and I love it. I am not as involved here as I was at the old place, but that is my choice, once bitten and all that, but I am getting on with my horses, making new friends with other liveries and moving on.
I do still think of the old place...but it was my life, YM was my closest friend, last week she contacted me on FB, and for the first time I didn't get upset or angry, I just politely answered and never thought of her again.
Guess what I am trying to say is to be honest with why you want to get back in touch, you cant undo the past no matter how much you want to.
I know I will see folk from the old yard over the Summer, but I now know I can say hi and keep on moving on with my life now without wishing for my life then.