Too much all at once = anxiety

MissTyc

MissTyc

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Hello, trying to get some help. Our world was turned upside down this week. The long-awaited completion on our new house arrived Wednesday after a last-minute exchange and accompanying panic. My anxious terrier picked up on our stress vibes and was more anxious than usual, but "normal" anxious while still at the old house. Then, on moving day everything was chaotic and kennels had no space for him so he experienced strangers, boxes, packing. Meanwhile our until last Friday super healthy 12 yo GSD x Rottie became very, very ill, so there was rushed vet visits and lots of tears ... She was euthanised at the new house by a mobile vet the evening we moved in.

All of us heartbroken ... My poor terrier caught in the middle.

The next day, my car failed its MOT and had to stay in for the day, so terrier and I were in a different, unfamiliar car .... Queue more emotions.

Now, he screams if I even try to leave a room, or close the door to have a wee. He won't take his kong as seems to think this will predict my departure (not done that to him, but he starts whimpering the moment I offer a kong). He eats, but constantly pauses to make sure he knows where we are. I know he needs time, but equally, I have to go back to work on Monday. He can probably come with me for a few days, but boss' patience will wear thin and I'm lecturing so can't take him into class with me. I am of course overthinking everything and devastated as losing my old dog. I am not a reliable leader; a total liability :(

I know he needs time, but I need to be able to help him and not make things worse.

Note that he was not with my other dog when we used to leave them, but I suppose he knew she was in her kennel outside and he knows that now she's not.

I've set up a crate in the spare room and we've started feeding him in there. I've put a baby gate on that room as well and occasionally close it in for the time it takes to eat a snack, step out of sight, step back into the sight. He's OK with that, but not happy about it. I keep projecting human emotions onto him, which isn't helpful. I feel like I did this to him by not being able to save my dog and by having to take him away from the only home he's ever known and disrupting his routine. I just don't want to make things worse but it seems neverending. Earlier on, we HAD to rebuild our shed before the rain returns, and the build made noise that terrified him. He's on edge, basically, and I don't know how to help him.

Any basic support very welcome. I will call a trainer for help if I can't find a way forwards. Or a therapist for me, or both! I notice I am more anxious due to not knowing the new neighbours yet so that doesn't help much! The new house is semi-detaached so I'm really aware of him barking and upsetting the new neighbours.
 
I am so sorry about your older dog.

Until recently we had 2 x 6 yr old Rotter litter sisters. Then one became ill was taken to the vet Tuesday morning, scanned operated on and pts on the table because she had a slenetic tumour which had spread to her intestines. Wednesday a friend brought her 2 dogs to stay, they went home Thursday, Friday I took the remaining Rott for a walk, she tried to attach herself to another random dog while we were out but was fine walking with me, otherwise. It was a very hot day, so when we got home, I went up for a shower, she moved the stairs dog gate and came to sit outside the bathroom door (unheard of). She was eating but slowly, she started moulting and her coat now looks more brown than black. She looked shell-shocked and just didn't know how to be a dog on her own.


We were able to keep to our normal routine in the usual home. Have you tried Adaptil plug-ins for your terrier?


We decided to get her some company and by Saturday we had 2 x 8 week old Lab pups. A bit of a drastic remedy maybe but it certainly worked for her, she goes frantic if the pups are out of her sight but she is happy to stay with them and certainly hasn't been sitting outside the bathroom again. Pups are now almost 12 weeks old.
 
Pearlsasinger said:
I am so sorry about your older dog.

Until recently we had 2 x 6 yr old Rotter litter sisters. Then one became ill was taken to the vet Tuesday morning, scanned operated on and pts on the table because she had a slenetic tumour which had spread to her intestines. Wednesday a friend brought her 2 dogs to stay, they went home Thursday, Friday I took the remaining Rott for a walk, she tried to attach herself to another random dog while we were out but was fine walking with me, otherwise. It was a very hot day, so when we got home, I went up for a shower, she moved the stairs dog gate and came to sit outside the bathroom door (unheard of). She was eating but slowly, she started moulting and her coat now looks more brown than black. She looked shell-shocked and just didn't know how to be a dog on her own.


We were able to keep to our normal routine in the usual home. Have you tried Adaptil plug-ins for your terrier?


We decided to get her some company and by Saturday we had 2 x 8 week old Lab pups. A bit of a drastic remedy maybe but it certainly worked for her, she goes frantic if the pups are out of her sight but she is happy to stay with them and certainly hasn't been sitting outside the bathroom again. Pups are now almost 12 weeks old.
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Thanks for sharing. That's such a sad and sudden loss as well. It's heart wrenching, isn't it? I know I wasn't handling things well and my terrier is v sensitive anyway. He has his Adaptil collar, diffusers and spray! As well as his oral calmer. He needs most of that stuff anyway at the best of times, and this is the worst of times. I just want him to feel safe, but he clearly doesn't know where to put himself and doesn't like the safe spaces we set up for him. I think the hallway to the front door worries him. In our old house it was an old fashioned narrow approach, whereas now it's a big wide space and I wonder if it's too much space for him. I just feel so sad all the time.
 
Have you tried a adaptil collar or diffuser? Zylkene tablets may he!p.
You can get both from pets at home. If you have to leave him give him a t-shirt or something that smells of you.
A thundershirt may also help. Leave a radio or tv on for him.
Make a den area for him.
None of these things will be a magic wand but may help.
 
Oh how awful for you. Such a stressful and tragic set of circumstances. If your little terrier is already a bit of a stress head under normal circumstances, I think it's unlikely that over the counter remedies will help. Our elderly Lab, Spot, was also quite highly strung and when she decided, for no apparent reason, that night times were just terrifying, we tried all sorts of remedies over a period of several months, under vet supervision, before our vet recommended Diazepam, for a short time to break the cycle. I was very reluctant, because it seemed to be cracking a nut with a sledgehammer, but he was right, and it worked. I think perhaps a vet visit might be necessary for your little chap, he's had a lot happen to him in such a short space of time, that the intervention might need to be a stronger one than under normal circumstances. We were very quickly able to wean Spot off the Diazepam, which we had fed to her in a dairylea triangle, and instead gave her a dairylea triangle placebo every evening for the rest of her days. Your vet may not agree with the course of action our vet took, but he should be able to recommend a course of action. Good Luck, and please, go easy on yourself, you very obviously care deeply for your little chap, and are grieving for your lost pet. Please be kind to yourself.
 
I'd also ask the vet for something industrial in the short term just to calm the waters and break the cycle.
Easy for me to say but please try yourself to calm down as it sounds like you are both feeding off one another's stress and TBH you've identified that projection is in play here.

If you're using crates, cover them with a throw, etc, if there's going to be build noise or any disruption, crate and stick the radio on. Leave something that smells of you, with him.

If he doesn't like certain rooms, bear in mind that the floor surfaces or acoustics may be different and that may stress him. If he's gone from carpet to wood or tiles etc, think about laying some rugs/runners down for him.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss and a house move is stressful and difficult all by itself so no wonder you're tired and feeling sad.

Look after yourself and give yourself and the little dog time. It will get better. Limit all further stress as much as possible and establish a nice quiet routine for him and you with lots of time for snoozing. If he is anxious out on walks at all I'd put them on hold for now. Just toilets on lead on the garden while he gets orientated to his new surroundings. Save exploring further until you're both more settled.

Definitely explore something to help him from the vets to break the cycle up a bit.

If you can take a bit of time off work I would do that too, for both him and yourself!

You could call round to your new neighbours and explain that the dog is really anxious at the moment and apologise for any barking and say you are working on getting him settled and he'll be less noisy once he is. That way you dont start worrying and stressing every time he makes a noise because you've already explained. This plan might backfire however if they are arseholes! But then... stuff them. Lol

Take your time. Go easy on yourself.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss, that’s really devastating.

Your dog sounds very sensitive. If he’s used to going to work with you, then do that for as long as you can. He will get used to a new house, but it’ll take time. Surround him with familiar things, he definitely wants to be able to smell you if he can’t see you.
 
You sound to have been going through a really stressful time, you have my absolute sympathy x

I’m trying to adjust George terrier to my routine having had him in my home for about 3 weeks now and I’m having similar problems, he isn’t particularly sensitive but one of my greyhounds IS and he is setting George off as well ☹️

The routine that has worked with George is putting him in a completely covered crate with a loud radio on, with a Kong toy stuffed with frozen food. He thinks with his stomach so this distracts him completely! He is oblivious to me leaving as his mind is on the food etc

I then shut the other dogs away with a minimum of visual/audio stimulus (curtains drawn, windows closed) so when I have to leave them (which is the trigger problem in my case) I sneak out without them realising.

I film them using my laptop when I’m out - last night I had 3 hours of silence, as it was evening time and they had had their walk/tea. Today I heard one period of squeaking/barking which lasted 4-5 mins, this was 1 1/2 hours after I’d left them this morning. I’ve realised Ace greyhound wants his walk first thing so he settles!

I am finding this incredibly difficult, so I do really empathise with what you are saying - I’ve tried to adopt an approach of removing triggers/stimuli if that helps at all
 
MrsJingle said:
I know this is a serious thread and horrible for Op and the little chap but Levrier I did do a double take and choked on my ice cream imagining your mutts using your laptop as soon as you had left them to it! :D
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I’m surprised the little b*stards don’t use it to Google stuff 🙄😂
 
Thanks for the support and advice. Yesterday afternoon I managed to tidy up the garage (out of sight) with him in the house, and he didn't kick off, so it's baby steps, I guess. He's coming to work. That's a familiar environment, but my boss is highly allergic, so we're only allowed dogs for special occasions. Thankfully my boss also has a high EQ, so he understands this is a special occasion. I am hopeful that my dog might settle in the car if we do our normal routine of doing a nice long walk from work, then into the car. I took him without my other dog quite often, so this should be a familiar pattern. Perhaps the first familiar thing since Wednesday. Fingers crossed. As the heat picks up, he'll have to come inside with me anyway, but I'd like to get a quiet hour out of him. Second phone set to transmit from the car so I know what's going on! (as for filming the dogs - my dog cam is motion activated so I sometimes get an alert to my own blurry shape slinking to the loo in the middle of the night) ... Trying to be positive!
 
glad he is making progress
I don't think there is anything you can do except continue as close to normal as possible (of course that has changed with new house and loss of your other dog) and if anything try and ignore their anxiety.
when we were packing to move house our collie was quite stressed and paced, she also went off her food. but we just tried to ignore her and I attempted to not be anxious myself! (far easier said that done)
it is still very early days, and poor dog has grief and move stress, as do you.
all the best
 
MrsJingle said:
How did it go today @ MissTyc ?
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He came to work and enjoyed his morning walk, chased some squirrels. He normally loves the car, but he didn't want to get back in. Once I put him in, he wouldn't take any treats and then he didn't touch his kong while I went to a meeting he couldn't attend. He then joined me in the office and was quiet as a mouse. Came to meetings and was good as gold but very introverted. Cowering when people stood up, flinching if I tried to touch him. He just seems totally shut down. When we finally got home, he went upstairs bny himself and slept on the bed for a few hours until dinner time. If he wants my bed to be his safe space, that's fine of course ... it just makes me sad that he's so shut down. I'm trying to be upbeat and calm; it's tough! This morning, we did an early walk with a friend and he was VERY happy to see his friend and was happier to get back in the car afterwards. Again, I have a meeting he can't attend first thing, and then he can join me (my boss is very allergic, so no dogs can come in his office. I am lucky that my boss nonetheless permits dogs in the building so I won't complain too much!).

Another dog is a big decision, and not one I feel I can make while I'm grieving. I'd like to see if we can help my terrier without this first, but of course if it goes that way in the end, then it will! We'd never had two dogs at the same time until these two, and I'll be honest I much prefer being a one-dog household!
 
I’m so sorry you’ve had such a tough time. I’d also recommend speaking to your vet about diazepam for the short term if your terrier is still as bad. My vet prescribed it for my old GSD bitch who got extremely stressed when we moved from a modern new build to an old cottage whose windows rattled when it was windy (and I finally worked out that was what was bothering her).
From your latest post it does sound like he’s coming round a bit. Could you arrange to walk with his friend more often as it seems that made a marked difference?
 
Just thought I'd update you as you've all been so helpful!
Firstly, I shared my rescue remedy with my terrier (!) He likes it, so that's a good start. I am working from home this morning, but left him for 30 minutes. He ran up to the bedroom, but didn't bark. I waited for him to look sleepy rather than alert and then came back into the house. He was overjoyed but then went to his bed in the home office rather than clinging to me or sitting on my foot. So this is enormous progress that gives me some hope.
 
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