Too much for my age?

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Evergreen

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I am really aching and tired this morning, and thinking on to winter, I do wonder if I have too much on my plate horse wise. What do you think?

I am a fit and healthy slim 49 year old woman. I single handedly care for 7 (soon to be 8) horses who live in during the winter with turnout during the day. I also have to ride two/three of them a day. All this as well as doing all the cooking, cleaning and washing for a family of four.

There is nothing I can do about it, but I do wonder if this should be my last winter doing all this work. I guess what I really want to know, is if there are similarly hard worked women out there who are also getting past their prime. I want to think I could go on like this at least for another five years. What do you think?
 
If you arnt happy doing it then change it!

Realistically there is no reason why you shouldnt be up to looking after them.
Do you work as well?
If not a family and horses should fit in ok together with organization.
If you work as well i understand why you would get tired and always be so busy!
 
No, the horses are my work. I run the yard as a business. A couple of years ago I had someone to help me so that at least I could get my house work done, but cannot afford anyone now. The horses take up 100% of my day in the winter and I bearly get time for lunch. I think it is the extra riding that actually tires me out the most. I could cope quite easily with all the mucking out and daily care of the horses, but when I have clients horses to ride as well as my own, it really takes it out of me, when it never used to. Age must finally be catching up with me. :( Most people think I am much younger than I actually am and so I suppose, expect more of me. Mind you, I guess it keeps me healthy. I just sometimes wonder when physical exercise can cross over from being beneficial to detrimental?
 
Hands up every woman who feels that she has too much on her plate!

I was knackered in my 20s, knackered in my 30s and will probably stay knackered until the day I die.

At 49 years young with 8 horses and a family of four to look after, no wonder you're thinking that it may be all too much. But I bet you would be thinkig the same if you were in your 30's! Sometimes we all wonder if anyone really appreciates us!

Is there anyone who can take the load off a bit, even for just one afternoon a week?
 
classicalfan said:
Hands up every woman who feels that she has too much on her plate!

I was knackered in my 20s, knackered in my 30s and will probably stay knackered until the day I die.

At 49 years young with 8 horses and a family of four to look after, no wonder you're thinking that it may be all too much. But I bet you would be thinkig the same if you were in your 30's! Sometimes we all wonder if anyone really appreciates us!

Is there anyone who can take the load off a bit, even for just one afternoon a week?
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Haha brilliant!!! Get those kids to help with the chores - do a rota.:D
 
Haha! Non horsey teenagers that won't get out of bed until 2 pm? A husband who works 8 until 8? It is actually more effort trying to get my boys into action than to do it myself. But I do get a bit of help at the weekends. They do most of the poo picking! I still have to do the mucking out but they empty my barrows. But during the week, I'm on my own.

I couldn't think of any other job I'd rather do though. But just wish I had a bit of energy left over at the end of the day to keep the husband happy. :rolleyes:
 
Aww - do a search on "time saving tips" - and take a catnap for an hour mid afternoon, that's what the Spanish do (and what I do, btw). Research shows that people are more productive if they orgainse themselves to do this:).

Oh and stop cooking and ironing for those boys - they're old enough to learn some independence as teenagers.
 
Honey08 said:
It sounds like the answer is to stop riding client's horses...
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Yes, you are absolutely right. I knew this, but stupidly commited to taking on another ride for fear of losing the livery if I didn't, which I think is the reason for my panic over whether I will be able to cope this winter. I will honour that agreement, but after next summer, I think I will have to put a block on all riding of clients horses during the winter. The problem is, of course, that is when they most want me to ride! :(
 
benson21 said:
Maybe you are just having a rough day?
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Yes, maybe. I don't always feel so tired. Some days I am full of energy. Looking on the bright side, after two tough years with pernicious anaemia and pneumonia, my health has been better the last couple of years with not so much as a cold. Now I should NOT have said that...
 
You may not be able to expect the teenagers to help with the business, but if they live in the house, then they have a responsibiltity to do some of the domestic stuff. Better for them i nthe long run too
 
Firstly get your boys to help with the housework! it's thier house too and shouldn't fall down to you.

Secondly, could you advertise for someone to ride say 2 of the Horses for you and in return they do the chores for said 2 Horses. You wouldn't pay them, they get riding in return. Would your liveries be happy with this arrangment? I'm sure some will be more understanding and as long as the rider you get in is a fairly decent rider and trustworthy, there shouldn't be too much of a problem.
 
Honey08 said:
It sounds like the answer is to stop riding client's horses...
Click to expand...

Thats what i think too. do the looking after but say you cant ride them.
You could arrange for another regular rider to come in to dot he exercise, it wouldnt cost you anything the owners can pay the rider, you just might have to be the go between and organize it.
 
When I'm dragging myself around at the end of a long day, I think how lucky I am to still be able to do it at 54 and I hope to continue for as long as possible. As my old boss used to say, it's better to wear out than rust out ;)

But, yes, get those boys cracking on some household chores :p
 
elderlycoupleindevon said:
When I'm dragging myself around at the end of a long day, I think how lucky I am to still be able to do it at 54 and I hope to continue for as long as possible. As my old boss used to say, it's better to wear out than rust out ;)

But, yes, get those boys cracking on some household chores :p
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I'm having a lazy day today. Only two horses to ride and no mucking out. Hence my time on here when really I should be doing my housework. But yes, you are right, I am lucky I am still able to do this kind of thing at my age and should really embrace it. At least it means I don't have to go to the gym to keep fit. I just need a kick up the backside today for some reason. :D
 
I'm dreading the winter too! I have a similar number of horses to ride and muck out every day. I completely sympathise with you. Some days it's really hard to get going. But I find once I am out there, it's pretty easy when I'm doing it. The biggest mistake is to sit down!
 
you do slow down and feel tired as you get older, at 40 I could work all day now at 50 I feel it more.
So you have to get smart!
A good nights sleep is essential so make sure you get one.
do not run around after those boys make a rota for jobs and make them stick to it.
take a little time to see if you can tweak your routines to be more efficient .
And I totally agree about a short rest in the afternoon but think a hour is too long by then I would be flat out but someone advised me that if you have a strong coffee then lie on the sofa and set your phone for 20 minutes the coffee is waking you up when your phone goes off. this really does it for me I am set up for the afternoon if I do this.
 
if you can't afford to get someone to help you with the livery side of things how about a cleaner for the house once a week;) i clean for a livery yard owner and she always says not having to think about cleaning bathrooms and doing hoovering is so nice:) takes a little bit of the pressure off you and would hopefully make everything else seem doable
 
You are certainly not too old, but one thing that stood out is that you are running the yard as a business but cannot afford anyone to help you.
This means that you are working 7 days a week with no real break and the only help you get is with poo picking and the emptying of barrows 2 days its not suprising you are tired!

Probably not what you want to hera, but check that your what you are charging is correct for your costs, then add in the cost of having someone in perhaps 3 mornings a week, if you could do that it would give you 5 days of reduced workload and you will feel so much better for it. I know its hard to have to put up prices though especially as it could possibly make you more expensive than other comparable yards n the area.
Alternatively keep the price the same and make it 5 days full livery and weekends they have to muck out and do their own horses?

Just ideas but you do need to work in some you time where you can just stop and relax or even if you were 20 you would be knackered!
 
blucanoo1990 said:
Thats what i think too. do the looking after but say you cant ride them.
You could arrange for another regular rider to come in to dot he exercise, it wouldnt cost you anything the owners can pay the rider, you just might have to be the go between and organize it.
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Yes that could be the answer! There are a couple of girls locally who are intsructors but also exercise other people's horses. I use one when I'm away with work.. You could find the number then let clients know that you're not going to be able to do it this winter, but there is an alternative.. If you said it was because it was affecting your health, what kind of client would complain!

Totally agree with the boys doing more. Emptying barrows is not that impressive unless they were also doing waters and haynets at the same time. Give them set jobs around the house. Remember you are training someone's future husband...
 
Can I ask why you do it ?. I don't mean that flippantly but that is quite a workload even for a twenty something and if its giving you so little return you can't afford any help at all is there a point.

TBH irrespective of age I wouldn't want to do it.
 
my kids know that if they want me to be a 'fun mum' then they have to help me out, my eldest is almost 13yrs old. he will do things if i tell him to but can't think for himself (he's also autistic) however i got fed up of cleaning the bedrooms up as well as the rest of the house so he now has full responsibility for his own room, if he doesn't put his dirty clothes in the washing machine then they don't get washed, if he doesn't hoover his room then it's his problem, i just shut the door, i don't run around after the kids anymore and they all accept it now, they want me to take them to the park well i need energy to do it!

as for the business side of things, if clients are paying you to ride then why not get someone in to do the riding and the clients pay that person, their horses are worked/schooled, you get a break and you give someone the opportunity to work especially if they have kids but can't fit in owning a horse but are capable and experienced riders.
 
Gosh - feeling tired reading this thread.

Agree with many of the other points

Firstly get the boys looking after themselves - no reason they shoudnt do their own laundry, rooms, clear up after dinnner and perhaps prepare a meal for the family each once a week.

I also second finding someone who owners can pay to ride, suggest liveries DIYing at weekends

Have you thorught about getting some horse help in return for a free/reduced livery or help in return for rides on your own horse. Lots of teen or even adults might be up for this, particulaly in these hhard times when horse owning/lessons are soo exspensive.
 
I agree with other posters that women juggle so much generally.
Isn't that normal to feel you are spreading yourself too thinly? I think most women do. I work f/t and look after 2 horses and a pony. Last winter I managed 3 big ones (granted not riding them all!). I have dogs and chickens and children. I also had a large landmark birthday this year! My OH works long hours so there is not the practical help there. I have one teenager who creates a lot of washing - he will help when nagged and given a specific chore - but asking continuously is tiring too.
Sometimes I get down and look at the mess in the house and think gosh I do nothing well, but I love being outside, I love looking after all the animals and I couldn't give them up for an easier life.
If you are physically aching and feel you are challenged - cut back to a level you feel you will be comfortable with. It is good to remain active for as long as you can, but don't be too hard on yourself, as someone else said you can feel knackered at any age if you take on too much!
 
Is there anything about the yard setup you can do to make life easier? Do you have rubber matting, autodrinkers etc. Are the fields laid out to make turnin/out easier. What about rugging? May be harder for livery clients but for my own in winter, they often wear turnouts in the stable too - obvs. got spares for when they are really wet & muddy but does speed things up.

I also find snuggy hoods & equilibrium chaps a real timesaver - no brushing mud on heads & necks or hosing down legs.

Perhaps ask an experienced friend to spend the day with you observing where you could save time/energy? It's really easy to get into habits and not realise that you aren't being terribly efficient.
 
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