Trainer problem

[Leitrim]

I have a bit of a problem knowing what to do about a professional trainer who only started her new business about a year ago. This young person is definitely a hard worker and an extremely competent horse-person / rider. During winter she proved that she could put in the hours and achieve excellent results with the horses brought to her for retraining or backing. She was also a great help to me in learning what I needed to know about basic horse care and management. In return I volunteered with a lot of dirty donkey-work for many, many hours each week especially when she was ill, injured or away.

When I bought and thereafter brought my two horses to my own barn about half a mile away I asked this person to ride the older horse regularly to keep him fit, paying the rate that she charged for exercising the horses of her holiday livery clients.
As time went on the incidences of unreliability became ever more frequent and the times at which she could ride the horse were wedged into early morning or evening … not unreasonable as she had now moved her business 5 miles away and could only feasibly visit my barn on her way to or from ‘work’. But there have been so many occasions when an email arrives after the appointment to say that she couldn’t make it for one reason or another, and now – when she doesn’t turn up she doesn’t even bother emailing.
However she does email me when she wants something: 3 times to borrow my trailer which has been returned with piles of dung in the back … and once when she asked me to take over some bales of my hay for a new horse coming into her establishment – which I did.
This week she failed to turn up on Monday, without word until today when she emailed asking to borrow my trailer over the weekend.

I guess that if I read the writing on the wall with 20:20 vision it will say something like: “I don’t need your business now that I’ve got more clients. I don’t need your help because I’ve got my young friends on school holidays to help. I’m not really interested in whether you make a success of riding your horse or looking after and providing basic training for your youngsters. Don’t bother me unless I bother you because you happen to have something I need.”

So, what to do?
The dilemma is in one sense moral: Is it better to be generous and accept the unsatisfactory situation or to be snooty and take the approach of doing no friendly favours and asking for no further paid services?
In another sense it is a practical dilemma: There are very few horse professionals within twenty miles of where I live. There are no local riding clubs. Riding schools are about fifteen miles away so too far really to have a trainer come to me. Should I therefore ‘stay on the right side’ of the only professional trainer in the area even if it means being a bit of a mug and at the bottom of the priority list just so that I can engage their help if I can’t handle a problem – for the horses’ sake really.

 

[be positive]

I think you need to sort out what you require from this person, if they are training you regularly then keep going with that but stop relying on the exercising as that is becoming totally hit and miss, you can put it nicely say that you realise she is getting very busy so feel it better to stop exercising but still want the lessons on a set day, that way you continue on a professional basis without losing out on the training. The exercising may be an issue but if she is not doing it properly you may either have to ride more yourself, get rid of one horse or find a more willing but possibly less able person to at least exercise if they are not up to improving or schooling.

I would then become a little less helpful, make the trailer out of use next time, it could have a minor problem that needs fixing so not possible to use this time, that way she may start to look elsewhere for her favours, she may have clients on the yard that would lend her a trailer if she thinks yours it not available for a while, take a step out of it and use her for training only and look elsewhere for someone else to step in and help you, there may be someone around if you start looking.

She may learn the hard way at some point that using people does not get you a good reputation, stay around a while and she may be back asking for help with a better attitude.

 

[Leitrim]

Thank you for this.
It's a dignified, most reasonable solution.
I hope that what you say in the final paragraph proves to be true as in many important ways.she deserves to succeed.

 

[Luci07]

Thank you for this.
It's a dignified, most reasonable solution.
I hope that what you say in the final paragraph proves to be true as in many important ways.she deserves to succeed.

It is. While in your situation I would love to let rip, I have, to my cost, found that the few moments of gratification are not worth the mess afterwards.

Let us know how you get on and good luck.

 

[Leitrim]

Thank you Luci07.
You're right about letting rip causing a mess afterwards, particularly in communities like this where everyone remotely interested in horses knows everyone else and a most alarming amount about their business! Rural grapevine.

 

[be positive]

It is. While in your situation I would love to let rip, I have, to my cost, found that the few moments of gratification are not worth the mess afterwards.

Let us know how you get on and good luck.

I must say my first thought was much the same but life is too short and in the end the OP will lose out as much if not more if she lets rip and says things that cannot be taken back, I hope you can sort it out and continue with a good professional relationship, she just sounds young and arrogant.

 

[Leitrim]

Young, certainly .... less than half my age!
However I think that like many young people she has been forced, unfortunately, through economic pressure and the perceived immediacy of digital communication into a single-mindedness that does not accommodate the courtesies that would make life so much more agreeable for us all.

 

[oldie48]

well I'd just sit down with her over a cup of coffee and be honest about how you feel. Be tactful and non confrontational but straightforward and open, if she can't handle it, then she's going to struggle surviving in a business that is dependent on having a good relationship with clients. you will be doing her a favour in the long run!

 

[Leitrim]

Thanks, oldie48.
I'll try that this afternoon. It's a nice day today and I've a clear plan for the next couple of weeks so I know what I hope to achieve and I'll do my most diplomatic best to convince her of how her reliability is so important.
I sense that my payments are a useful safety net for her 'in-between client' times which is a helpful position so long as I can get her to realise that even when she has two or three other horses for retraining or backing etc. my expectations will remain the same ... obviously with some sensitivity to her workload but not to the point where me and my horses are shelved until it suits her.

 

[oldie48]

I hope it goes well!

 

[Exploding Chestnuts]

No way would I let her have the trailer again , ever: its a total lack of respect, and abuse of your good nature in this and other ways ......... I am no good at fluffy conversations, so I would avoid any "chat"
I would phone her the day before you need her and ask if she will ride, if she says no or then does not turn up, just ask if she knows someone who will do it!!

 

[Sukistokes2]

Hi,
I had a similar problem with a lady who rides my horse twice a week while I am at work. At times she can be a bit unreliable and to be frank I just wanted at one point to fire her. However I had a good think about it and listed the pros and cons.
This woman has keys to my tack room, she has too, I would not trust that many people with that. She is in sole charge of my horse, she is totally trust worthy. If I was ill she would dropped everything and do my horses for me. She rides really well. She is helpful and pleasant company when we ride together. She does not talk about other clients to me, except to mention something positive, I assume she does the same for me. She loves my horses, i caught her kissing them.
Sometimes she gets busy and misses my horse out but usually fits him in on another day. Occasionally she will cancel. She is a pain to get hold of. Sometimes you have to confirm and reconfirm that she is coming. She talks a lot.

When you list it out like that there is no contest!?