Training your man to like horses?!

Nudibranch

Nudibranch

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Following on from the supportive/unsupportive thread, I wondered if anyone had any advice.

OH is absolutely perfect in every way except for one thing - he really, really dislikes horses at the moment. He rode as a child, but had a 12 month relationship a couple of years ago with a "mad horsewoman" (well, he was going through a tough time and did the whole unsuitable relationship thing!). As a result, he really doesn't want anything to do with horses. She was very much one of the country/hunt set. Not that there's anything wrong with that but I have tried to explain that's not my scene and all I ever get up to is hacking; when I have a rideable horse that is.

I'm never going to turn him horse mad, and we have everything else in common so we don't need anything else to share, but it would be nice if he could at least tolerate the idea of me buying a new horse! We've been only together 4 months but he's never met the pony - and we're actually living together now, so it's not as if he doesn't have the opportunity (yard is 5 miles away).

Any tips to retrain him?!
 
I got mine into the idea of my daughter and I competing by providing extra good picnics, newspapers, beer, comfy chair etc but I'm struggling to translate that to your situation.
 
Wow, you live together after 4 months together! Thats fast.

Since it is such a new relationship, dont think I would be pushing horses onto him just now. Let him get used to the idea and to realise your not like his ex.
 
TBH I don't understand the need to have your OH interested in horses, unless he already is or wants to be voluntarily.

I have horses, my OH (who I've been with for 8 years, live together, engaged) has mountain biking, squash, golf (not very often thank god that one!). We spend our weekend doing stuff together that we want to do and stuff apart. I compete, and go off with my mum and my sister (I'm realise I'm lucky in that respect) and he does what he wants.

Just because he's my OH doesn't mean I want to be joined at the hip. I'd be pretty annoyed if he discussed how to train me to like golf! :D
 
It's not a need - it's just to get him away from the idea that horses = being miserable. I don't want him down the yard with me or anything like that, but I'd prefer he didn't clam up on the rare occasions I talk about them!

And 4 months is fast to be living together, but we've known each other 2 years prior to being in a relationship and from day one we spent every evening together, so it just seemed the right thing to do. Unusual I agree - and not usually my style at all but it's fantastic. And it is a bit of an unusual relationship anyway so why not carry on as we started :)
 
My OH isn't intreasted in horses at all, and very rarely ever comes to the yard. I gave up trying to get him up the yard as he just wasn't intreasted. He's happy for me to have my horse and spend time at the yard as he has his own hobbies which i'm not intreasted in. As long as he's happy for me to keep my horse and spend time with her it doesn't bother me that he's not intreasted in come up to see her.
 
My OH dislikes horses and after 15 years he still dislikes horses (until you take him to a county show where he spends all day in the beer tent then hangs around the horses neck telling it how lovelly it is!). He's happy to spend hours at the yard using the chain saw and driving the quad and fencing until the cows come home, but he gets bored after 5 minutes watching me ride and the only time he was ever brave enough to lead the horse to the field it encountered a stray hose pipe, do he still maintains they are dangerous and he dosent like them. Some you can re-train, others you cant!:D
 
I thought your thread read "Training your man like a horse?!" - which got my interest!! ;)
Eyes have been looking at a computer screen all week......
Don't force him, he's a bloke, if he wants to like horses he will but he won't thank you for forcing him, and it may ruin a lovely relationship. Take it from me. My chap has his own hobby which keeps him well away from me and the four-leggeds, I don't mind, it is MY time. Though he has the occasional winge about how I am never there (when he is), but that is the main problem with relationships like this. Remember that slogan on sweatshirts and tee-shirts "He said - its me or the horse! - We'll miss him!" :D
I think you need to strike a happy balance - and if you find out how - let the rest of us know!!!
 
My oh is as non horsey as they come. I dont even try and persuade him to have anything to do with horses. The best advice is dont try and re-train. Some you can and most you cant
 
When i met my OH he liked to look at horses, but would never dream of doing any of the dirty jobs..

After about 12 months of taking him to the yard to look at and stroke my lot i threw him in at the deep end by enlisting his help removing my broodmares 8 inch thick deep litter bed and putting down a complete new foaling bed :P
x
 
Mine is allergic - have been working very hard to make him unallergic!! It was a complete nightmare but with regular (daily) exposure to hair etc he seems to be growing out of it!!! He dislikes the pony but sometime ago we had a big row about the whole thing and I basically said 'the horse makes me who I am, if you don't like that.....' you fill in the gaps!! He now will do some DIY in my stable, he moved my haybar, put my Petplan plaque up, tie rings, stall chain and over the weekend is going to put my Likit tongue twister up. So have an understanding, me and the horse or neither - he stayed!!
 
The only way to do it is to make him think its his idea. You can't do this if you push.

My OH was mildly interested, got more interested, crashed and burned and now is only interested if he has to be (perhaps a little unfair as when there is an emergency he is out there playing the martyr! plus we do have 7 - he inherited 2, bought 1, not right, bought another so got to 4, still not right, sent to stud, almost parted, now have 7 - and the last 2, added one bred another and lost 1 which broke his heart and put him off more)

So in short, you can't make him, he's probably worried you will turn into that mad horsewoman, so be careful and don't!!

I've found by almost going the other way and being very independent about the horse thing actually is better than trying to introduce!! Then he might be curious as to what you do get up to with your horse and then want to know more???
 
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