Two week's on.....

Oberon

Oberon

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I picked up the old girl's ashes today.

It's made it all raw again, seeing her in a box.

I'm not ready to bring her in from the car yet. I still can't believe she's really gone.

I thought I heard her moving around downstairs the other night but it was hubby.

I keep looking in my rear view mirror in the car and hoping I'll see her.

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On the plus side - I was terrified about how Salem would manage without her.

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But he has been absolutely fine. He's even been left home alone for a few hours over this week, while we have all been at work and he's been happy and relaxed :).

I would never have believed he would cope as well as he has and I'm so grateful for that.
 
thats good news at a stressfull time for you, at least he is ok...we just need you to be ok now, it will take time but im sure eventually you will be able to smile at the lovely memories of her.... i thought i would never get over the loss of my special girl, its been 9 years and my only memories are of the good times, i dont ever think about the last few days so hopefully you may be the same...lots of hugs for you.....
 
I still can't quite believe she is gone.

But by day three I was able to talk about her without getting hysterical.

I feel sad but I can think about her with joy and look at pictures of her without crying every time.

So I feel really guilty about that :(. I feel like I should be more upset.

After her diagnosis in 2011, I would often just burst into tears when watching her walking. I drove myself crazy about when I would have to make the decision....Maybe I worked it all out over the last year?
 
I think when you have watched them going downhill with cdrm it is almost a relief when it is all over. Still heartbreaking but as you say a lot of tears are shed watching this horrible disease take its toll. Please don't feel guilty, it was obvious from your posts how much she was loved.
 
I became 'raw' again when I collected the ashes and would stare at the box in disbelief - it has his name on it but I couldn't quite believe he was in there,after being with me 2days before:( However,over the next few days,I gradually felt more 'at peace' with it all- I had him at home,safe and would say hi to him when I went in the room where he was/is (and still do now-apologies to any of you thinking, 'nutter!') She is at peace:) Amd soon you will be more so...it is a natural path which can't be hurried and everyone travels it at their own pace:)
 
I lost my b/c Barney back in December and I don't think a day goes by when I dont shed a tear for him - never thought I could miss an animal so much - it does get easier but I think you just to learn to live with the void they leave behind - if that makes sense :confused:

sending a virtual hug xxx
 
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