Unethical - What would you do?

lisan

lisan

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 September 2003
Messages
3,025
Location
Fylde Coast, Lancs
pets.webshots.com
My friend and I from the yard are doing a weekly jumping clinc at our local college which had fab equestrian facilities. Got to the yard yesterday to be told by another livery there she had overheard a conversation by a livery (that works at the college), whom had been talking to the instructor, jist of it was the my friend and I were crap! So not happy comments like that are being spread around the yard, the only reason I went was to improve my confidence!

don't know if to ignore it, bring it up with the livery or with the instructor?
 
Not nice. If I was you I'd just ignore it. Some people just have too much time on their hands and they probably gossip about everyone's riding.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Not nice. If I was you I'd just ignore it. Some people just have too much time on their hands and they probably gossip about everyone's riding.

[/ QUOTE ]
gossip is putting it mildly - horses have all been in this week while they fertilize/roll the fields, so everyones been down lots, been a total bitch fest this week!! Big livery yards are a nightmare!
crazy.gif
 
I would try and forget it. So you may be crap in her opinion (and lets face it, not many of us are Anky) - so what ? Youre doing something about it, and at the end of the course you will be less crap.
 
Oh dear, i hate to think what they would say about MY riding if they say that about you! I would just ignore it, I think you ride May brilliantly (she isnt the easiest!!). Some people have nothing better to do - lol at the bitchfest! But must say I do agree it is rather unethical to be discussing customers in this manner.
 
That is very unprofessional .... after all you are paying this instructor to teach you. How dare she / he then discuss you and your friend with others.
frown.gif

I'm going to go against the thread and say that if it were me I would ask her if this were true. Don't mention any names of where you heard it from as then you would be lowering your self to their level. Be very proffessional about it
wink.gif


At the end of the day you are paying to learn to jump better - if you knew it all you would not be paying for instruction!

Grrr this kind of thing makes me soooo mad!
mad.gif


Sleep on it, discuss with your friend and do what you feel happy with ...
grin.gif
 
You might not be the best!

Remember that this is now 3rd hand, the instructor might just have said that you and your friend were not her most advanced students, or not capable of something or other. Fair enough. However, someone else has rushd off with this information and twisted it!

Thing about big livery yards is that anything anyone says will be misquoted and used against them. All those highly strung youngsters getting hormonal... not talking about the horses!

Be mature, chill, laugh it off and get on with improving your riding and looking after your ned.
 
the next time you go for a lesson ask the instructor what he/she thinks of your riding and how your doing and tell them to be brutally honest! its better than saying so and so said you said this
 
[ QUOTE ]
That is very unprofessional .... after all you are paying this instructor to teach you. How dare she / he then discuss you and your friend with others.
frown.gif

I'm going to go against the thread and say that if it were me I would ask her if this were true. Don't mention any names of where you heard it from as then you would be lowering your self to their level. Be very proffessional about it
wink.gif


At the end of the day you are paying to learn to jump better - if you knew it all you would not be paying for instruction!

Grrr this kind of thing makes me soooo mad!
mad.gif


Sleep on it, discuss with your friend and do what you feel happy with ...
grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

I totally agree. IF it is true, whoever runs the college should be having a word with the instructor to find out what was said. It is unprofessional and may well lose them business in future, so it is in their best interests to know.
 
[ QUOTE ]


[/ QUOTE ] the next time you go for a lesson ask the instructor what he/she thinks of your riding and how your doing and tell them to be brutally honest! its better than saying so and so said you said this

I think this is the way I would tackle it too. But be prepared to hear the worst so if they say you are doing well and improving its a bonus
tongue.gif
 
Oh honey... don't you dare take this to heart!

Is there any way you could get hold of the instructor and have a chat with them about this? I do think something has been mentioned and taken way out of proportion. For example, someone may have asked them how you were getting on and they could have said your confidence is improving which will continue to help your jumping to improve. This has then been twisted to make it into your jumping is crap! Does that make sense?

I would try to speak to them though hun, I think you'll be thinking about this if not!

If you need cheering up, Han and I are at Myerscough tomorrow morning and I haven't even looked at my tests yet
blush.gif
wink.gif
Could be one of those competitions!
 
I would ignore it to be honest everyone always try to get little snipes at people.
Out of curiosity who is the livery and instructor? I did try to pm you but your full
laugh.gif
 
stable yards have SO much bitching going on, i used to work at one and people were always talking about other people..so many teenagers around who love drama.
i'd ignore it mostly, but definitely ask the instructor what she thinks of your riding...subtle but gets it out in the open a bit?
good luck with your jumping class in future
laugh.gif
 
I would echo what everyone else has been saying Lisa. I know its not easy to ignore them but arn't some livery yards just awful places for this sort of thing. Let it make you more determined to show them what you can do - thats the best way to shut em up i find.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Oh honey... don't you dare take this to heart!

Is there any way you could get hold of the instructor and have a chat with them about this? I do think something has been mentioned and taken way out of proportion. For example, someone may have asked them how you were getting on and they could have said your confidence is improving which will continue to help your jumping to improve. This has then been twisted to make it into your jumping is crap! Does that make sense?

I would try to speak to them though hun, I think you'll be thinking about this if not!

If you need cheering up, Han and I are at Myerscough tomorrow morning and I haven't even looked at my tests yet
blush.gif
wink.gif
Could be one of those competitions!

[/ QUOTE ]
Hopefully that was all it was, anyway, said livery was down at the same time as me tonight, so I showed her the vid from Tues eve, just to prove I'm not that crap!

Anyway, will go to next Tues lesson and have a quiet word with the instructor before I start, re some constructive critisim. I was completely honest, at the lessons, said because I am nervous I pull her back too much and fiddle/intefere - bbut sometimes its easier said than done to sit to the fence with leg on!

I do feel we are getting there and have even moved up a class at church Farm tomm!!! Would love to come and watch you, but unfortunately have to work for a couple of hrs before going to the Eventers Challenge
frown.gif
 
Hi Lisa
Sounds more like bitchy sour grapes to me -I'd either tell them to p*ss off or I'd ignore them - It's HIGHLY unlikely that any instructor would say comments like that if it's an ongoing clinic that you go to - Grrr these people really annoy me
frown.gif

Glad you and May are out and about!
smile.gif

Kate x
 
[ QUOTE ]
..so many teenagers around who love drama.

All those highly strung youngsters getting hormonal... not talking about the horses!

[/ QUOTE ]
i think your being a bit stereotypical not all teenagers are bitchy its usually the older ones!
tongue.gif


anyway ignore them! as long as your horses are happy who cares
 
I would ignore it. I have been on a big yard and know what its like. People are very quick to throw criticisms around but when people criticize them they don't like it.

Best of luck with clinics.
 
LOL! at 4 times to keep her busy - can you remember when you first bought her and she was branded a nutter - you wouldn't've taken her out four times in one week then!
grin.gif

I'm totally impressed with how you've persevered with May - Many (no.. change that to MOST) people would've given up after the first broken leg!
blush.gif
I hate folk who have nothing better to do than interfere ... I wouldn't even have shown them the video - I think they should just bugger off!
wink.gif
grin.gif

Kate x
 
[ QUOTE ]
LOL! at 4 times to keep her busy - can you remember when you first bought her and she was branded a nutter - you wouldn't've taken her out four times in one week then!
grin.gif

I'm totally impressed with how you've persevered with May - Many (no.. change that to MOST) people would've given up after the first broken leg!
blush.gif
I hate folk who have nothing better to do than interfere ... I wouldn't even have shown them the video - I think they should just bugger off!
wink.gif
grin.gif

Kate x

[/ QUOTE ]
I've only recently moved back to this yard, and May is noticably more chilled than she has ever been! She now hacks alone, away from the yard on a loose rein, gets over (only just) 60% in dressage tests, even got placed at the last TREC comp i did! - chucked her in the box today and took her to the yard I work weekends at to shower/solarium her, she was so calm and well behaved. Just need to get my confidence back jumping and we will be sorted
grin.gif
 
Sounds like stirring to me by nasty people with too much time on their hands (I wonder how their horses are going?). Try and ignore the nasty people - including those who pass the info on ...have a great time tomorrow and forget them!
 
If it is true; what a completely unprofessional act.

L, you and I know that you are not crap. You enjoy your riding and May is happy and healthy. We're not Ankys, and god forbid I dare say neither is the instructor, but don't worry about the other liveries. No matter how good you actually are, some smart arse (who can't think of anything better to do with their time) will have their moment and try to disparage another livery. Too cowardly, as they know it isn't the truth, they dare not say it to the persons face so, instead, they say it to someone else. It is pathetic but, just like any place where you have a grouping of people, there is always going to be back chat unfortunately.

I would personally, as you are paying for a professional service, take it up with the instructor. It could very well be a mountain out of a molehill, and what the instructor actual said was taken completely out of context.
smile.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top