unhelpful yard??

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mazziek

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Was wondering if anyone else is having same experience as me? i am at DIY yard needing major confidence boost, tack my tb x up stand with foot in stirrup but then every thought comes into my head all of which end up with me on the deck!! few certain individuals in the yard find it highly amusing that i am wasting this horse!! can anyone give me some tips confidence boosts, would love to get out and bout jumping and hacking but there a brick wall stopping me! HELP!!!
 
I wonder if moving to a more supportive yard would help - or do you have friends at your present yard that you would miss? sometimes just seeing somebody else riding your horse and surviving the experience helps!
Do you have a school you can work in? Even if you start in there and as a bit of a wind down at the end of schooling you just go out for 5 or 10 minutes it is a good way of getting yourself out. Also useful is to have somebody on the ground while you ride, to give you some reassurance.
 
Number 1 - you are not wasting this horse. A horse does not know what it's potential might be and so cannot be upset by not achieveing this.
Two - Find a nice kind instructor who can help you with your fears & ease those worries.
If you are worried about getting on at the mounting block for fear of falling off on the concrete & horse getting away, can you get on in the school instead? I had to do this when my young horse decided it would be great fun the rear & 180 on the concrete rather than go forwards. I then got my instructor to help me & we spen the whole of one lesson getting on walking calmly to the school, doing a circuit, getting off, leaving schoool, going back to mounting block & getting back on again.
Three - take it one day at a time, no one says you have to be amazing all the time, try & enjoy yourslef.
Four - imagaine all the nice things about going out for a hack or jumping a round of fences - not all the bad things.
Five - SMILE - it helps I promise.
Take care
smile.gif

Ps there alwasy seems to be someone in every yard that takes great delight in other peoples misfortune sadly. Grit you teeth & ignore them - who says they know best!
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I had a really helpful session with my sports psychologist today with a great technique to help deal (in your head) with these awful people who revel in other peoples misfortune. PM me if you want more details. Good luck X
 
Maybe having some lessons if a move to a more supportive yard isn't feasible?

I hit a mental block and have had huge confidence issues since I came of mine just before Christmas. I went to an RS for some lessons (even though the so-called plodder they put me on took off on me when I was doing work without stirrups and reins, lol) and also organised for an instructor for me and Molly.

I do have an advantage though, the yard I am on is supportive, they all guessed my confidence issues and they always make sure someone is around the menage when they see my name on the board. So if a move to a more supportive yard is possible, I would recommend it.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Number 1 - you are not wasting this horse. A horse does not know what it's potential might be and so cannot be upset by not achieveing this.
Two - Find a nice kind instructor who can help you with your fears & ease those worries.
If you are worried about getting on at the mounting block for fear of falling off on the concrete & horse getting away, can you get on in the school instead? I had to do this when my young horse decided it would be great fun the rear & 180 on the concrete rather than go forwards. I then got my instructor to help me & we spen the whole of one lesson getting on walking calmly to the school, doing a circuit, getting off, leaving schoool, going back to mounting block & getting back on again.
Three - take it one day at a time, no one says you have to be amazing all the time, try & enjoy yourslef.
Four - imagaine all the nice things about going out for a hack or jumping a round of fences - not all the bad things.
Five - SMILE - it helps I promise.

[/ QUOTE ]

i second these wise words from pippipony
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Did something happen to make you lose your confidence or is it the thought of something happening?

Whatever the reason - if you don't have any 'real' friends on that yard I would consider moving. I would also get a good instructor and tell them that you need to work on your confidence.

I was in your position 3 years ago but I'm fine now and I'm even competing my mare in Prelim dressage. Something I never thought I would do. I'm still abit nervous riding out but I do it and always feel so pleased when I've been out.

IGNORE THEM - Ask someone you trust for help and put it down to their ignorance!!!!

Keep smiling
smile.gif
 
Move yards, I was in exactly the same situation, moved and hav'nt looked back. Can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did.

I have gone from being petrified of mounting to taking my horse out jumping, dressage and to the gallops and am aiming for an unaffiliated 3 day event at the end of the year!!

Being on a yard full of supportive caring people is an amazing confidence boost in itself. Having somebody prepared to step in and help when needed makes a huge difference.
 
You're not wasting your horse, ignore them. Your horse doesn't stand in the stable or in a field dreaming of Olympia or HOYS. All your horse needs is to be looked after, what you do additional to that will be for you
 
I think that you really should try and move yards. A fresh start for both of you. I was in the same position and ended up selling my horse. I now have another one that i keep at home and i couldn't be happier, i'm doing all sorts of things that i never dreamed that i would do. I think even if you can move to another yard even if they are not super supportive the fresh start will do you good.
 
Absolutely agree. Move to a nicer yard. What a bunch of horrid people your current place seems to have.

You pay a lot for your hobby - you should at least be able to enjoy it!
 
I totally lost my nerve once...and it was only with help and support that I got over it...
It takes time and is not an overnight thing.
I had other people ride my horse so I could see it wasnt that bad...and also it made me want to get on her as i was jealous!!!
I had lessons...in the school and out hacking with my instructor who also looked after my horse. It was really just taking one step at a time ie. riding her round a field was an achievement...lasting more than 10 minutes on her in the school was another!! I was that bad...
I used to hum to myself and have someone just stand in the school so I felt I was having a lesson and had to concentrate rather than imagine all the things that could go wrong.
My horse was a little bomb ticking!! She just loved being ridden and had such a zest for life...I had to learn that we could enjoy things together and appreciate her energy. She could bounce and jog for hours...so we exercised her more than of course I had been as i was so nervous I would avoid it...it really helped me to see other people on her thinking it was fine and just riding, rather than stressing like I did!!
Then one day she did actually bolt with me (which was my biggest fear)...and my instructor couldnt believe that I came back to the yard saying 'that was fantastic'!!! my worst fear had happened and we were fine and she stopped and we were still friends.
Setting yourself little goals helps ie walking to the end of the drive and back...Dont worry about the time it takes...there is no rush...the rewards are worth it all.
 
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