Unrealistic Livery/Friend

Goldenstar

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28 March 2011
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Lol im sure that there are friends off here that know me in person that will laugh at me being called lovely and that i need to learn to say no!

I offer to people to lend out my inner b*tch :D starting to think someone has borrowed it and not returned it!

She is just one person that comes across as so meek and mild that I feel bad being hard with her.

Although as i was leaving after a quick visit to put to bed my mare i did see her walking her horse towards the barn, so fingers crossed my rugs are all still safe in the morning!

Ive got a short day tomorrow so will try and get up there and sort as much as i can then, But YM has now asked me as my youngster is away and another is leaving at the end of the month (ie stable she can then have) would i "mind" for a few weeks, and I will get this months rent for the stable back/no bill next month as I'm already paid up.
Are you really confident that the other stable will become vacant ?
I would be saying to the YOer that if anything happens that changes things you will want your stable back before your youngster comes back .
 

dianchi

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Yes other horse is definitely leaving

But get up this morning to find my half sorted rugs "missing" - she'd moved them!!

Text her as she wouldn't answer the phone, asked why she didn't say anything when I was stood talking to her last night and did she realise I was paying for that stable

*****ty text back that she is done talking about it and to talk to YM if I have an issue!
WTF?!

So time off this afternoon to go find all rugs and attempt to find a home/storage.

YM just says oh it's just short term and I can use her leaky stable!

Just 8am and I'm annoyed already!
 

fatpiggy

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Just get up there and say to the YMer and say no I am not parting with my stable .

Totally agree, don't pussy foot around being nice, speak to the YM immediately, say you offered the stable for one night only and now your property has been removed and dumped and you have storage problems as a result. I was in a similar sort of position when a fellow livery was complaining about her fork so I said try my aubiose fork and see if you like it. That, she decided gave her absolute permission to use it on a permanent basis, including poo picking out in the field. Not surprisingly she then broke one of the tynes, didn't say a word to me about but did go to the YO (been brown-nosing there) and told her to tell me that it was wear and tear and no, she wasn't prepared to pay so much as a penny towards replacing it. At the time my horse was on box-rest with a damaged DDF so I had to muck out on my hands and knees with rubber gloves and a shovel until I could replace the fork which was only available mail order. As I couldn't get it delivered at home I had to go and collect it from the courier's depot which was miles away. Oh, and replacing the fork cost me £44 when I had no spare money. I pray every day that karma gets her.
 

debsflo

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I'm all for helping people out but once I feel that I'm being taken advantage of its a different story. Another that thinks you need to clarify the offer.
 

Equi

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Find your rugs and put them back, take her bedding out and dump it and lock your stable.

It's those ones that do more scheming while they sit quietly!
 

9tails

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But YM has now asked me as my youngster is away and another is leaving at the end of the month (ie stable she can then have) would i "mind" for a few weeks, and I will get this months rent for the stable back/no bill next month as I'm already paid up.
So this meek mild livery has gone behind your back to the YM who never gets involved in anything and stated her case? If you do agree to this, you can kiss goodbye to that stable for good.
 

9tails

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Apologies, read the rest of the thread and WTAF!!! Dump her bedding back in her stable as she has been beyond rude and is definitely angling to stay put. Get a hefty lock for the stable door and show the YM her rude message ensuring that the YM knows that this will never be an option. Did she even tell you where she has dumped your rugs?
 

sandi_84

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22 November 2011
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Yes other horse is definitely leaving

But get up this morning to find my half sorted rugs "missing" - she'd moved them!!

Text her as she wouldn't answer the phone, asked why she didn't say anything when I was stood talking to her last night and did she realise I was paying for that stable

*****ty text back that she is done talking about it and to talk to YM if I have an issue!
WTF?!

So time off this afternoon to go find all rugs and attempt to find a home/storage.

YM just says oh it's just short term and I can use her leaky stable!

Just 8am and I'm annoyed already!
Ok after that flash of attitude I'd be telling her to sling her hook! You tried to be nice and now she's getting snippy? Nope!
 

Thistle

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14 September 2005
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Yes other horse is definitely leaving

But get up this morning to find my half sorted rugs "missing" - she'd moved them!!

Text her as she wouldn't answer the phone, asked why she didn't say anything when I was stood talking to her last night and did she realise I was paying for that stable

*****ty text back that she is done talking about it and to talk to YM if I have an issue!
WTF?!

So time off this afternoon to go find all rugs and attempt to find a home/storage.

YM just says oh it's just short term and I can use her leaky stable!

Just 8am and I'm annoyed already!

Exactly my point above, obviously a pro at the helpless act to get her own way. You have been sucked in unfortunately. No doubt when the other stable becomes free she will prefer to stay in your stable and it's you who will have to move!
 

wingedhorse

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7 November 2005
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Exactly my point above, obviously a pro at the helpless act to get her own way. You have been sucked in unfortunately. No doubt when the other stable becomes free she will prefer to stay in your stable and it's you who will have to move!
I would contact yard owner, and say on second thoughts you arent happy with her suggestion, and you'd like to keep usage of the stable you have paid for as you need it for dry storage. I would be very careful or you will lose stable that is next to your other horse altogether.
 

smja

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Firstly, I'd be straight on to the YM and find out what is going on. Then I would take her bedding out and put it in the outdoor stable, find my rugs/any other stuff and put it back in my stable, then lock it if possible.

Moving someone else's stuff to help them out is ok, moving someone's stuff without saying anything is a no-no.

Hope you get this sorted OP - my blood is boiling on your behalf!
 

SusieT

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15 September 2009
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playing devils advocate. If I were a livery yard owner and wanted all horses in and one stable leaked and one was dry then the animal would get the dry stable if no other animal were occupying it. Where will you store your rugs when your youngster is back?

I would hope there is still a stable available for your youngster and I would say to YM you would like it in writing that you can have your current stable back then but YM is trying to keep everyone happy and it does seem sensible that the horse is in a dry stable.
Friend however is clearly a scheming wotsit and needs told where to go - just be careful you don't get your marching orders for being too difficult!
 

DiNozzo

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However childish it would, I would be massively tempted to put all my rugs back, put her horse back in her stable, and then padlock mine...

Am I bad person?!
 

Merlod

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playing devils advocate. If I were a livery yard owner and wanted all horses in and one stable leaked and one was dry then the animal would get the dry stable if no other animal were occupying it. Where will you store your rugs when your youngster is back?

I would hope there is still a stable available for your youngster and I would say to YM you would like it in writing that you can have your current stable back then but YM is trying to keep everyone happy and it does seem sensible that the horse is in a dry stable.
Friend however is clearly a scheming wotsit and needs told where to go - just be careful you don't get your marching orders for being too difficult!
But even if no other animal is occupying the stable presumably OP is still paying for the stable so it's at her say what she puts in there whether it be rugs, her youngster or nothing at all!

I think it's for the YO and the livery girl to sort out whether her horse and leaky stable :) and OP needs to negate this well intentioned offer which seems to causing a bit of hassle!
 
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SusieT

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Not really- in any sensible yard stables are adjusted according the animals needs- live animals in my mind deserve a warm dry stable if in ratehr than a wet damp one. So as a YM I could interpret rent as renting a suitable stable - not necessarily one particular stable.
 

Orca

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Not really- in any sensible yard stables are adjusted according the animals needs- live animals in my mind deserve a warm dry stable if in ratehr than a wet damp one. So as a YM I could interpret rent as renting a suitable stable - not necessarily one particular stable.
I agree that the animals needs should be met but that isn't the OPs responsibility. It's the YMs responsibility to provide a leak free stable, so repairing the leak would make more sense to me (and be better management practice), than removing a stable which is already retained by the OP. Either that or reduce the number of liveries to equal the number of spare (and unretained) stables. OP, doesn't your YM have to give notice of you losing a livery place?

As a livery myself, I'd probably give up my spare stable if I had one, while I didn't need it but that's more because I'd bend over backwards to help out the other liveries and YO (and they are absolutely lovely and not remotely takey!)
 
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honetpot

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I can see the YM point of view, using the stable you rent solves her problem, she is not being put out by having her belongings moved. To an outsider having a stable to store rugs instead of putting a horse in it seem contrary, ' why can I not put my horse in their she's not using it?' I would make sure if this can not be resolved you get your rent back, the YM can not rent it out twice.
I would very much make sure the YM that knows you never said the OL the stable could have the it. Just recently I have found out how much people do like to twist things to get their own way.
 

ester

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I can imagine she will be great fun and not annoying at all to have stabled next to you until the end of the month too OP.

To me it would make more sense for the YO to repair the leak for the live animal, the issue being he won't go in that one anyway though? and until this point despite the fact that presumably she had some prior warning of the 1st december deadline this person/friend has done nothing about it.
 

southerncomfort

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Honestly? I think you're mad! Once she takes over paying for your stable, it's effectively hers and the YM is not in anyway duty-bound to give it back to you.

This girl does not sound meek at all but a proper little madam! The term 'passive-aggressive' comes to mind.
 

Merlod

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I agree that the animals needs should be met but that isn't the OPs responsibility. It's the YMs responsibility to provide a leak free stable, so repairing the leak would make more sense to me (and be better management practice), than removing a stable which is already retained by the OP. Either that or reduce the number of liveries to equal the number of spare (and unretained) stables. OP, doesn't your YM have to give notice of you losing a livery place?

As a livery myself, I'd probably give up my spare stable if I had one, while I didn't need it but that's more because I'd bend over backwards to help out the other liveries and YO (and they are absolutely lovely and not remotely takey!)
^ This :D It's bad yard management, the leak should be fixed or the yard owner should not have rented out a substandard stable.
 

gnubee

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Are you sure the YM isn't driving the other livery's behaviour in this? From what you have said it feels like YM may have asked OL when the horse was coming in (as it's now over a week since they were supposed to come in) and had the answer 'op is lending me her spare stable when she can clear rugs out'. Can definitely in that scenario see some YMs I've known telling OL to get on with helping you move them out and OL now feeling trapped between you and YM if she is a shy sort as you describe.
 

epeters91

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To be honest I don't think she's particularely done anything wrong... She was obviously ok with her horse being stabled where it was, your the one that has not been happy with how she's handling her own horse and you've suggested it should be moved to a stable inside. Also a lot of horses are turned out over summer so I'm not sure why this makes her a worse owner than you.

Now she's listened to you she has made a mistake not telling you about her plans to move the bedding but she's just trying to give her horse the best chance to settle in a new stable. She's asked you to move your rugs because you have offered her the space, just tell her she'll have to wait a couple of days.

If you hadn't been putting your nose in her business and how she handles her horse then you wouldn't now be complaning that she's expecting too much from you. Playing out that your just too nice doesn't ring true to me sorry.
 
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