Unsettled Mare

[The Bouncing Bog Trotter]

Hoping that the wise ones of HHO can help a friend of mine in need:

Older mare (mid to late 20s) has been rehomed due to bereavement about 4 weeks ago. She lived in her previous home for over 14 years with one gelding pony companion (who wasn't rehomed with her) and had contact mainly with one human. In her new home she is very unsettled (unsurprisingly as her whole world has changed and her new home is very sympathetic to that fact) and her new keeper wants to do all she can to help her become more settled. She was previously turned out 24/7 with her companion and had free range access to her stable which she shared. In the new home she has turnout during the day and is in at night (can't be changed). She is also on individual turnout but next to other horses and can see them over the electric fence (again, can't be changed, so she can see but can't touch). Food is exactly the same (same brand, type and amount), and she now has gentle exercise whereas before it was infrequent hacks.

Since moving she is having a raging season which just goes on and on. She is having calming cookies and agnus cactus has been suggested and is on order but will obviously need time to kick in. She is fence walking, calling, barging and is generally in full flight mode. She settles when the other horses are around her but if one leaves she becomes unsettled again.

Any other ideas or suggestions as to what could be tried to help the mare to settle into her new home? As a mare that's been rehomed as a compassionate act to a bereaved friend it is an emotionally fraught and fragile situation.

We know it needs time and it is very, very early days, but what can we do to support the mare in this transition period and make her life less stressful?

Huge thanks in advance.

 

[Peglo]

Is there no chance of getting a companion to live with her? My old 25 yr old tb really doesn’t like change or being alone and when my other old girl gets fenced away from her to get her bucket (every morning) she really looks to get her back (she does after an hour or less)

 

[Meowy Catkin]

From your post, you know what the issues are. Unfortunately there is nothing to suggest apart from changing something that apparently cannot be changed.

She will probably get used to her situation and appear calmer as learnt helplessness sets in, but that really isn't the kind way to solve this for the old girl.

Such a difficult situation, I understand why it is so emotionally fraught. I'm sorry that I don't have a magical answer to suggest.

 

[JackFrost]

Just a thought -
Did she have a good bond with her previous human? If she did, your friend sounds knowledgeable and sensitive, and might be able to help by showing the mare that she (your friend) is her new leader. Sort of natural horsemanship stuff, I know not everyone's cup of tea, but I can think of times I have seen very anxious horses calm dramatically when the human has made clear they are in charge. Obviously your friend can't live in the field with her, but knowing that again she has her own person to trust might help.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Poor horse why take her to a yard that is totally unsuitable she needs to be out with other horses at least some horses just won't cope with individual turnout.

 

[stangs]

There’s no chance of her being turned out with others, even if just one other horse? Horses are tactile creatures, even just being able to groom another horse could be healing for her.

Also, if she’s been used to one human for 14 years, is there any way her old owner could come spend some time with her? I appreciate that they have their own issues, but surely over a decade of companionship warrants helping smooth over her adjustment to a new home.

 

[Gloi]

Could her old companion move with her to the new place for a while?

 

[splashgirl45]

she needs a companion in with her, she has been used to this for 14 years and shes an old girl....if you cant provide a companion then mov e to a yard where she is in with others. individual turnout where they have no contact with other horses is pretty cruel in my eyes, she must be so confused aand distressed, thats no life for an oldie, IMO she hasnt been done any favours and maybe PTS would be kinder if she is going to be forced to live like that....poor horse

 

[Winters100]

She settles when the other horses are around her but if one leaves she becomes unsettled again.

To me this is the answer - she needs a companion. Could one not be found, or could she be re-homed to act as a companion and live with another?

 

[The Bouncing Bog Trotter]

To answer some questions and to thank those who have commented:

She has been rehomed as a companion so can’t have a companion provided for her and the rehoming option was only open to 1 horse so her companion has been placed elsewhere.
Companion homes are few and far between and the ideal one will probably not exist for her, especially going into winter.
She gets more stressed when any of the horses leave the yard, not just one - understandably. She is never left out of sight of another horse, just not one in her turnout area.
Her former owner can’t revisit. This is a bereavement rehoming.

This is an emotional and tricky situation that I am one step removed from but PTS is not a current option - the mare remains a connnection to the person who has died. I believe ownership has not been transferred so the mare will not ‘get lost’.

For those who have left instructions (and resources) in wills about the care of your animals after your death, I salute your foresight.

 

[meleeka]

I rehomed an old mare, very different as she’d lived on her own, but it’s taken two years for her to fully settle. When they get to that age they have a lot of years of routine to undo. Mine was overly aggressive to my others around hay and very spooky. Shes only just learnt to chill and just be a horse.

Could her next door neighbour be the same for field and stable? Even one constant pal may help. Can she be turned out with others in a herd somewhere else full time?

 

[Peglo]

This is a very tricky situation and hope the mare settles soon. My TB will throw a hissy fit if me old girl leaves the field even though she’s in a field next to 3 others. She’s fine with them leaving to be ridden etc if OG is there. So if she could have someone on the same routine as her sharing a paddock she would likely settle quickly. Hope you find a solution.

 

[TheMule]

This is clearly a very difficult situation for all involved but unfortunately the poor mare is going to be left suffering if her basic needs aren’t met and this set up doesn’t sound like it is going to work for her. I hope those involved in her care will realise that soon and either find an alternative or put her out of her misery

 

[splashgirl45]

if she has been rehomed as a companion, who is she companion to if nothing is in the field with her?

its very unfair to expect her to settle alone, cant she go to another yard as this one sounds very unsuitable if horses are not allowed to be turned out together

 

[Winters100]

For those who have left instructions (and resources) in wills about the care of your animals after your death, I salute your foresight.

A very good point - whatever your age it is necessary to keep an up to date will and letter of wishes. I hope that something can be sorted for this poor mare to give her a reasonable life.

 

[splashgirl45]

cant she be put in a retirement livery yard where the horses are out all of the time, it shouldnt make much difference to the cost and she would be with permanent companions

 

[HashRouge]

if she has been rehomed as a companion, who is she companion to if nothing is in the field with her?

its very unfair to expect her to settle alone, cant she go to another yard as this one sounds very unsuitable if horses are not allowed to be turned out together

This. I don't get how she has been rehomed as a companion if it is a bereavement rehoming, or who she is supposed to be companion too if she doesn't have a special friend to be turned out with. My elderly mare goes batsh!t if she is separated from her best friend, I can imagine her being the same in this sort of situation. She doesn't settle if he doesn't come back either, she just turns herself inside out with worrying.

 

[PSD]

I’d be moving her to somewhere more suitable. Poor mare must think her world has been turned upside down (and it has). She’s not a companion if she’s turned out alone, mine would go off his head especially if he could see others and couldn’t get to them.

I’d move her to a place she can be with others not just see them, before she ends up hurting herself or colicking through stress.

 

[blitznbobs]

Basically with all the criteria that cant be changed it is essentially cruel to this horse. Its obvious what she needs, and she cant be put out of her misery by being pts… its the horse therefore that suffers and im sure this is the last thing the person who died would have wanted. The answer is to rehome into a more suitable environment or pts… if neither are possible then the mare is suffering . Sorry if this is harsh but sometimes we need to make the difficult decisions and say the difficult things

 

[Trouper]

Well you tried - but this sounds like a solution to suit the humans more than the horses involved. I imagine the pony companion is just as unsettled and confused.
Would it not be possible to put both the pony and the mare on retirement livery together where at least they could see out their lives quietly - can't believe anyone could object to that.
On a short-term basis - you could try adding a couple of drops of walnut oil to her water - it's a homeopathic remedy for separation anxiety which I have found works well with new horses and rescue dogs.

 

[ycbm]

I read the original post and all I can remember is "can't be changed" "can't be changed" "can't be changed".

I'm sorry if this comes across as too hard but there is nothing in this poor mare's situation that can't be changed. There are 24/7 grass liveries that will cost much less than the in-at-night regime she's been forced into, so neither availability nor cost are the issue.

If a bereaved person is the barrier then it needs to be pointed out to them by someone more diplomatic that me that the person they have lost would be devastated to know how unhappy their poor mare is.
.

 

[Arzada]

She has been rehomed as a companion so can’t have a companion provided for her and the rehoming option was only open to 1 horse so her companion has been placed elsewhere.

Who is she a companion to?

 

[The Bouncing Bog Trotter]

It is an exceptionally tricky situation. I will pass on your thoughts and comments. And thank you for the suggestions.

 

[milliepops]

Well you tried - but this sounds like a solution to suit the humans more than the horses involved. I imagine the pony companion is just as unsettled and confused.
Would it not be possible to put both the pony and the mare on retirement livery together where at least they could see out their lives quietly - can't believe anyone could object to that.
.

Sounds like an impossible situation OP and I can't see a way forward with what you've described. This ^^ would be my thoughts on the matter. I have one that would be similar and my heart breaks a little to think how this mare is distressed because I can imagine how mine would be, and I understand how the new keeper is probably doing everything they can in the circumstances but it possibly won't improve.

are you in contact with the keeper of the other pony? just wondering if there would be any scope to finding out how he's doing and whether their situation has any more flexibility than your friend's?

 

[Polos Mum]

Nothing really to add other than supporting your friend in understanding the current yard for the horse is unsuitable and nothing will change that.

A change of yard is needed to one that more closely resembles the lifestyle the mare had before. Those yards will be out there.

If your friend has taken on the horse from a grieving non-horsey person to help them out - great - amazing for them. But your friend (current horses keeper) still needs help to understand that they aren't being as kind as they think if they can't relocate the mare to somewhere suitable.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Any update about this mare?

 

[The Bouncing Bog Trotter]

Only that she is much more settled this week and seems more relaxed and happier in her new surroundings. Fingers crossed she is accepting her new home.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Thank you for the update.

It's a shame that they haven't changed things to make her final years as social as she is used to.

 

[splashgirl45]

she may seem settled but i bet she isnt, horses just give up and put up with it so will give an impression that they have settled but inside they are still stressed. she is in solitary confinement if she has no equine company that she can interact with. i feel really worried about her, so sad that she is not being allowed to live out her days as the former owner would have wanted...sorry to be blunt but IMO this regime is cruelty!!!! i am sorry i read this thread, it has made me very sad