untidy, tight,possesive YO? *rant*

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niagaraduval

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I'm at this yard.. well not a yard just an owner who rents stables out and has a big field. It's not a business or anything, but I have to sacrifice alot to keep him there.
It's the only place in the area where you can keep a horse, I can his field from my bedroom window and it is literally a 5 min walk across the train track.
But, It has turnout (which is vital for my horse he needs to be turned out everyday and besides he would get bored and upset being in his stable all the time), The next horse place that has a field is 20 miles away.

The owner is very possessive, I can't feed or muck out my horse myself or give him hay.
There is no tap, no hose, just a water butt for the horses water, so impossible to wash their legs, hose him off or even wash my hands.
There is no school, and I am not allowed to ride in the fields.
There is no door on the tack room so everything in the winter stays wet and muddy including myself.. All tack goes moldy, rugs too..I would die for a heater in there to have a place to dry everything and hide away in the winter when it goes down to -15! So lack of hot water, can't clean tack in the winter as it's so cold, His bit is so cold I try and warm it up under my jumper, everywhere is so damp..
The ground in the stable and infront of the stable is mud so in the winter it gets very boggy, and frozen it's impossible to keep his stable clean and he often lies down in the mud on the floor and getting in and out of the stable is a nightmare when it freezes or rains.
As I can't muck him out myself or feed him I can't touch the straw as he keeps it locked away, so he rarely has a bed or any kind let alone a deep winter bed. He rarely has sufficient hay, and YO is SO bloody tight!! I have never known anyone like it.

I am always on my own and he doesn't ride his mare so I never have anyone to ride with EVER and I am always so lonely I have never been for a ride with anyone else in 5 years of owning Niagara.

And last but least, He is so untidy, It's like a tip, old cars everywhere, bits of wood, broken headcollars lying about. And when I tidy and throw for example a broken bucket out he will go and fish it back out the bin and leave it lying about.
He has no respect for my rugs (yes he turns the horse out (I have no say in that)) and I often find my expensive rugs just thrown on the floor all wet.. I mean c'mon Who has the money to treat their equipment like shite ?
I pretty much have nothing to do with looking after my horse.. It's almost as if I loan him, I turn up saddle him up ride him and go home.. and I would like to be able to go up and feed him (I supply his food), after all he's my horse..But I am stuck because it's the only place around for 20 miles and it has turnout, also it's pretty much infront of my door.

I have found someone who wants to put their horse there are they are in the same situation, need somewhere close and need turnout, so I am quite excited I might not be on my own finally and also I will have someone to ride with, but I think she will take one look at the place and turn around. I try my best to tidy up and make it presentable and when I leave it's ok, and the next day I turn up to find it in he same state - he's fished everything out the bin, old doors and just general **** everwhere.. He keeps just a load of junk under the shelter so I can't tie him up or groom him under the shelter.

Leaving is really not an option, But I don't know how to talk to the owner to make him clean up his act as it honestly is just frustrating.. I hate turning up and finding it in a right state and having to wait around for him? He doesn't have a set time for feeding the 2 horses so I have to wait around until about 11am before I can go up to see him so i'm sure He is able to be worked, It's also the same for the evening.
I feel my horse is happy there.. But I am not, and there really is no other place. If YO booted us out I would probably have to sell Niagara as there is nowhere he can go.

Any suggestions?

Thanks :(
 
And you pay for this?????You have got to get out, with all the junk around it doesnt sound safe for any horse anyway.
i cant understand how he can get away with dictating to you about not allowing you to muck out, turn out, feed etc, its your bloody horse!
Find somewhere else, thats all you can do, we would all love our horses to be in the back garden, but if its not practical you have to put up with some travelling.
 
MOVE. Stuff left lying around like that and concerns over lack of feed? And lack of security to boot. The place sounds like an utter liability :(

I know you've said leaving isn't an option but if it's as bad as you say and the YO isn't changing, it's your ONLY option for your horse's best.
 
Would it be possible/practical to keep tack and maybe rugs at your house and cart them back and forth in a large wheelbarrow for example, to save them from getting mouldy?
Is there not also a security issue with having no tack room door??
Is there a particular reason he won't let you look after your own horse - surely it would be saving him time for you to do it!?
Sorry you seem to be having such a **** time of it at the moment.
 
Hi,
I understand you concern for him (Although I keep his field in very good shape He is not in any danger atall and I also make sur his stable has nothing dangerous in or around it) but I can't afford to move him somewhere roughly 20 miles away. If I could only get him to keep it tidy and make a few minor changes (Which wouldn't cost a lot) I could probably get in my own hay and straw and keep it for myself to use (although that's what I pay for i am not exactly getting it).
 
Not an option of keeping rugs and tack at home.
His front gate is always locked so no one can get in to steal tack but I would like a door to be able to close it and buy a heater to keep it warm in the winter and even have somewhere I can go and warm up.

Having a real **** time ATM :(
 
But that means you are paying for something you are not getting!!! Where abouts are you? Surely there is somewhere closer than 20 miles, even if its full livery for now, (which is basically what you are forced to have at your place at the mo).
 
Sounds it, especially if you've got non-horse worries on your plate, too.

Winter sounds like hell up there and access doesn't sound like a safe ideal - and doesn't your kit get ruined? That's as good for your horse as it is for your pocket, surely. And it's good that you supply your own feed but - and this is my uber paranoia creeping in :D - if the guy's really like that then frankly I'd even probs have concerns over the consistency the horse is fed with.

I know you've said it's a cost issue - would you be able to consider looking for a sharer to help you out?
 
i really hope you dont pay too much for this place......
cant you just go and buy your own bale of straw from tack shop and put it on your horses bed?? or change to shavings which he probably doesnt supply?
and then again use haylege so you can buy your own ?

i would personally leave, i no what you mean tho if i was kicked of my current yard there wouldnt be very much option, but surely its worth travelling 20 miles for a better place for you and your horse??

could you just try and find a field locally to rent ?
personally i would rather my horse stayed out all year round than lived in a place like you have described

i would leave
 
It's more of the distance than the cost although The nearest place is double the price almost.
I also wouldn't be able to cope with him being so far away and I don't have means of transport. With him being five min walk I can go up pretty much whenever I like as long as it's not before 9 or after 7.
 
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but cant think of any other way to put it!
I think you need to think of the safety and welfare of your horse more than the convenience of having him so close.
Sorry.
 
No fields to rent anywhere - already tried.
He charges 30€ a week, I supply feed as I wasn't happy with the amount nor the quality of the food he was getting.
To be honest I think my horse is happy there, he has the mare so he's not on his own and he has a massive big grassy field in the summer and a smaller field for the winter. Honestly I think my horse could not bat an eyelid, It's probably quite selfish of me ranting as I think he is happy there.
 
My horse has a ig field away from all this like said the fencing is excellent and the fiedl is big grassy three are no weeds and it is alxays poo picked. (by me).
The stable is round the back and I have tidies everwhere He goes up a grassy track to get to the field, He is in no danger atall. If he was I wouldn't be asking this question I would have taken him somewhere else! He is way too precious!
It's more for my personal happiness to move him away-, Which is why I think i'm being quite selfish but I am unhappy about him being there.
 
I travel 25 miles to my yard where my horses are on part livery. I go four/five times a week. I searched every other yard within this radius to find one which was good, suitably priced and had good facilities. I sacrifice nearly everything else in my life to keep my horses. But they make me happier than going out drinking and having a social life. My social life is my horses and the other people at the yard. If moving to a yard 20 miles away means that your horse is happy, and just as importantly you are happy, then you will have to make some sacrifices. If you can't afford the full livery at a better yard, how about advertising for a sharer and then you might not have to travel 20 miles each way every day and might also save some money as well! I now how you feel being on a bad yard. I think I have visited nearly every other yard in my county in an attempt to find a good one!
 
"There is no school, and I am not allowed to ride in the fields".

Ummm, I run a DIY livery yard and don't allow riding in the fields either!!! Plus I don't have a sand-school as I cater for happy hackers. So I think if you want those things, you'd be best to seek another yard.

I don't understand why you cannot muck out or rug up yourself tho' - that's a mystery. It sounds to me as though you need to talk to your YO, and perhaps from that formulate a proper livery contract, coz it sounds like you don't have one at the mo. If the YO won't discuss a contract, then I'd leave PDQ and no messing. Even if you have to travel some distance, surely it would be worth it?

Perhaps it would help to sit down and write a list of what you want from any yard; what you dont want/wouldn't tolerate, and what you might compromise on. If your current yard doesn't match up with your "wants/musts" list, then you should leave.

It sounds like the relationship betweeen you and your YO isn't good anyway, and I think for everyone's sake you'd be best looking for somewhere else.
 
Can you not talk to him, and say that you want to be able to do your own horse?
Bake him a cake take it round and say you want a chat, be strong and firm, and say what you want, but keep it friendly. what is he like, charactor wise? try and work that out and see if you can win him round. Good luck :)
 
niagaraduval said:
My horse has a ig field away from all this like said the fencing is excellent and the fiedl is big grassy three are no weeds and it is alxays poo picked. (by me).
The stable is round the back and I have tidies everwhere He goes up a grassy track to get to the field, He is in no danger atall. If he was I wouldn't be asking this question I would have taken him somewhere else! He is way too precious!
It's more for my personal happiness to move him away-, Which is why I think i'm being quite selfish but I am unhappy about him being there.
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so if your yard did become dangerous what would you do ?? from what you have described your horse is in no routine and is not in sufficent care, personally i would pay extra and get a sharer for a nice safe yard where i could look after my horse properly

dont take my comments personally i understand your situation and how hard it can be but you need to have a back up plan..
 
He is actually quite friendly and ok to speak too, but you can't really take his word for anything as he is always saying 'i'll do this i'll do that.. ' but he doesn't get an awful lot done. It took me about a month of asking him constantly before he finally put up my saddle rack that I bought about 6 months before, and ofcourse he didn't want me to go an put it up myself. (Not that I'm handy at DIY).

I think I will go and talk to him tomorrow and go and tidy everything up myself and work out some arrangements right away. I'm just not sure what to say to him I don't want to say 'Yo the place is a ***** hole clean it up'. I don't want to offend him but I am sick of it quite frankly, I hate it being untidy. He doesn't like me touching his stuff though - even his broken buckets that should be in the bin.
 
Ok friendly is a good start :) like i said you need to get on his wavelength, don't go wading in all guns blazing, if you have to stay there then try to change things little by little, and try to make it seem as if the changes are his idea :) you have to be subtle with (older?) men, they don't like to be rushed into change.
 
Fii - Thanks for the advice :)
I was looking more of a way to speak to him and make things better than having everyone say to move him (Which honestly is not possible and if it was I would have done it after 5 years). So Thanks for that ! :)
Still not sure what to say to him without offending him and I def don't want to sound demanding but I want certain things done and soon (Like a door for the tack room before the winter). I'm just not sure he will be happy to listen as all I ever do is moan it seems but nothing gets done. I thought the customer always comes first ?
I would like to go up and just clear all his old *****e buy a door and put it on myself etc.. but he would probably shoot me.
 
I would like to go up and just clear all his old *****e buy a door and put it on myself etc.. but he would probably shoot me.[/QUOTE]

Just a quick thought, could it be he is struggling to physically tidy the yard, etc. i may be wrong, is he an oldish guy? Could just be he cant manage and would actually appriciate you tidying and sorting things at the yard? you never know, if you offer to do the work for him, he might just bite your hand off!!!
 
He is very strong and muscley, he rides racing pushbikes every morning. He has no problem lifting a 100 litre water tank full up I think he is far from unable to clean up his yard and fix up a door! He's a talker but sadly not a doer..
 
If this is the best place you can keep your horse, where he sleeps in mud and all stuff is mouldy-I'm afraid you should be selling him. It's not fair on him
 
"The ground in the stable and infront of the stable is mud so in the winter it gets very boggy, and frozen it's impossible to keep his stable clean and he often lies down in the mud on the floor and getting in and out of the stable is a nightmare when it freezes or rains.
As I can't muck him out myself or feed him I can't touch the straw as he keeps it locked away, so he rarely has a bed or any kind let alone a deep winter bed. He rarely has sufficient hay, and YO is SO bloody tight!! I have never known anyone like it."
I am so sorry, it sounds like the yard (very loose term) from hell. For the above reasons alone, I am afraid I agree with SuzieT. He cannot possibly look well, if he is looked after as described, although he may well be "happy". It sounds harsh, and I know things are done very differently in other countries, but you obviously want the best for your horse - he isn't really getting it, despite your efforts. Perhaps, if you really cannot bear to sell him, you would consider loaning him out until your own situation improves? Do people loan horses in France, I don't know? Best of luck.
 
SusieT said:
If this is the best place you can keep your horse, where he sleeps in mud and all stuff is mouldy-I'm afraid you should be selling him. It's not fair on him
Click to expand...

Bit OTT, no??! A bit of mud and mould does not a welfare case make...

Anyway, OP - I think you need to prioritise as you are clearly not going to solve all the problems with this yard/YO.

The main issue seems to be that you are not able to contol/be a part of the day to day care of your horse, so focus on getting that sorted. Could you suggest to YO that your normal monthly rate is reduced, but instead you take over mucking out etc and pay him for each bale of hay/straw etc you use? You could work it out so you'll actually be paying a similar amount overall that you do now so as to sugar the pill? May be a good idea to have all potential problems covered too, such as where you would store your supply of hay etc.

Is the untidiness really that big of a deal? If you are happy that there is no safety issue (and you seem to be from all you have said), then you need to stop obsessing about this!

Finally, sounds like you desperately need a fellow livery. Focus hard on trying to find someone to keep you sane! Granted, your yard might be a hard sell, but they are clearly few and far between in your part of the world so there must be other desperate souls like you...
 
Thanks for you concerns!
I have made a list of everything I want changed and am going to see the YO first thing tomorrow! I have also added that I am willing to buy congrete with rubber mats for his stable, If he won't do it I WILL be doing this myself before winter sets in I'm not having him lying down in the mud again.
He actually was only in this stable for this winter he was in a stable before that was properly lined and sealed so never had a problem with it being muddy.
In all aspects It's an okay place It's just a mess (C**p everywhere) and I have no where to keep his things dry. The lack of school isn't major.. just slightly annoying in the winter.
 
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Hmmm, just a few things you've mentioned about the YO indicate that he might be feeling a tad overwhelmed? From what you say, when you've said things need doing, he's not thrown a hissy and sworn or whatever, he's just a bit vague and says it'll be done sometime (or as we say in the Westcountry - "it'll get done drekley" i.e. "directly" - which is sometime soon, possibly never!!!).

I'm not trying to induce you to feel sorry for him or anything, but as a YO myself I know just how hard it is sometimes to balance the needs of everyone who asks, plus keep the place going, plus pay the bills, plus family commitments, plus earning a living too!! Perhaps he's struggling with mental health issues, or whatever, you might not know what's going on for him - but like others have said you've got your horse to think about.

Soooo, if you're circumstances dictate to stay ..... you've gotta start somewhere, so yes, appeal to his good side. Perhaps he'd appreciate you offering to draw up a list of "jobs" that need to be done? Perhaps he's a bit hammish at the DIY stuff, and maybe one of you liveries knows someone who could do it, perhaps a partner or whatever? Perhaps he'd be happy for a working party to clear up some of the junk and deal with it? Etc etc. If you're paying out money for a service, then you're entitled to get value for your money aren't you, but sometimes YO's mean well, but its a case of "getting round to it".

Perhaps he might appreciate a proper organised list of who's responsible for what, and just needs someone to kick this off and get it going.

How do other people on the yard feel? Could you - very nicely - organise perhaps a meeting, coffee or whatever, and (again, nicely!!) raise some concerns (but dont' all jump on the poor guy at once!!).
 
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