Update on my Situation

B

Boodle

Well-Known Member
Joined
9 July 2005
Messages
2,433
Visit site
For those who don't remember, I posted a while back about a fall out with two horses, Bill and Pally's owner. We left it a week without so much as a word exchanged. I was devastated and still am about the whole situation.
So anyway, for the past week I have been giving serious consideration to moving up to my friend's relatives yard to work until September, then go to Oatridge to do a HND.
I had almost decided that i'd go as I had to have an answer for said friend by 20th December. It would mean leaving behind my friends, boyfriend, siblings, parents, and most importantly, my 2 elderly ponies. However my Mum would take soul care of them and I'd return as often as I could.

Today my Mum phoned up the owners to organise for me to go up and get my grooming kit, brushes, etc etc etc from Bil and Pally's stable block and say my goodbye's.
We got asked back by the owner's wife. She claimed he had apologised and appreciated he'd over reacted. His wife has been doing all the work with the horses. She apologised profusely and asked us to go back.

We're going to phone her back tonight and let her know.

This whole thing has caused so much pain and heartache for absolutely no reason at all.

I have decided to put all plans of going somewhere and of working on hold and finish school instead, even though I don't need any of the qualifications I am aiming for, and have lost all enthusiasm for learning.

As far as I see, we will be returning and I feel both fantastic and excited that I can ensure the wellbeing of these two fantastic horses. But also somewhat selfish as a part of me so longed to leave and make a fresh start. I don't think i'd ever rid myself of the guilt if i did still choose to leave and I feel it'd be selfish of me to leave these two horses with people who don't have a clue how to care for them. I'm dreading going back up to see the state of Pally and his stable.

I will further update you when it has been decided. It's bittersweet and the disappointed and upset isn't just going to go away... and I don't feel that the Owner (Male) has ever or will ever apologise and I feel he still sees us as his skivvies. But atleast now he knows we don't accept that.

An exhausted and elated,

Kirsty
 
Firtly, I am delighted to see that you can continue to care for Bill and Pally, if this is what you want. It was plain to see how distraught you were when you thought that your 'arrangement' was ended.
However, because you thought you no longer had a tie to them, you were able to look further afield for your future, and from what you have said, you were keen on going away.
This has now been shelved because you have been told you can again care for the horses. I am worried that you say that you have no interest in learning at school. It seems to me that your sole interest is in these two horses; and that, in my opinion, is not a good basis for deciding your future. Bill and Pally will one day not be there, and you might well regret that you did not take opportunities for learning and experience that you could have.
I urge you to think about your future in a detatched way, and talk to your parents about it. If you decide that Bill and Pally are the most important thing, well and good. But I hope you will be able to get the respect you deserve for caring for them. Otherwise, seeing beyond them and putting your own future somewhere in the equation would be a good idea.
Good luck whatever you decide.
smile.gif
 
Well, like you, I have mixed emotions about this. I just hope that Mr A$$hole has learnt his lesson, and will be a little more grateful and appreciative of you in the future.

I know how much you love all your horses and Bill and Pally, and I am sure that they gain from this arrangement as well as the owner does, just make sure that you are not being taken for granted again. I think I would almost be inclined to get some kind of agreement in writing from the owner.

As for feeling guilty if you left them...well it is clear that the owners have realised that they can't care for Bill and Pally themselves, so if you were no longer part of the equation I feel that they would either find someone else who would take care of them, or sell them, which again could be a good thing for Bill and Pally.

I do think it is time for you to take care of number 1!

Huge hugs whatever you decide...sorry for going on so long!
 
Thank you for your wonderful advice M_M.

I found myself smiling again when I thought of leaving here and finding a fresh start elsewhere, i'd still be learning on a working yard, and then going to College for my HND.. i'd never stop learning. A tiny part of me feels I should not go back. But I can't simply abandon them the way they are.
When Pally is well enough to be turned out I intend to reconsider the situation, however much it may hurt.

This whole thing has made me realise how unhappy I can potentially be without these horses, and a part of me felt that atleast I had got over the worst and I could move on... but I know it's going to happen all over again... one way or another.
Scary prospect.

Thanks again
 
Hey Gilly.
Thanks for you input.
I do think that if I weren't to go back they'd either get rid of Pally or they'd hire someone in... but i'm not sure about Bill.

Don't worry.. i'll finish school first (May) then i'll take another look. Mght as well finish this year.. i've done half of it.
 
Hmmm I can understand why you are a bit apprehensive about going back. I would try and get something put in writing and/or payment for your services again. Shes obviously been left to sort them and does'nt want to so wants you back. Hopefully now they will appreiciate what you do for Bill and Pally!
Im so pleased though that you can see the boys again! x
 
At the risk of sounding old and boring I'd say that whatever the situation with the horses is you're best to finish school first. A few more months to get your highers/ a levels (I presume?) will give you a lot more freedom in the future. You'd still be able to go and do the HND in September but you'll have kept your options open in case you decide to change careers at a later stage it'll help to have a higher level of qualifications.

Good luck with bill and pally, lots more photos wanted, I'm always so envious of whichever is the Friesan
 
Thanks for all the input it's very much appreciated.

dwi - Friesian is Bill.
I do already have 4 Highers, i'm aiming for one more and 2 Advanced Highers which i don't need to do any course im interested in ATM. I'm doing the Adv Highers because I enjoy the subjects. But don't anymore for some reason.
 
Chin up hon. I'm sure once the weather improves and you are back with the boys, life will seem much rosier.

Like you say, finish up the year, you are already half way through. 2008 might bring other choices too!

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
 
You sound qualified up to your eyeballs. Why don't you finish you course, get a full time job, buy the horses then you can do what you like with them free from the knob head owners?
tongue.gif
Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.
 
Glad to hear you are hopefully going to be back looking after them. Can you get some sort of contract sorted out so the owner can't do this to you again.
As a Mum I would say finish your time at school and get your qualifications and then next summer sit back and decide exactly what you want to do. Good luck.
 
Echo what most people have said - stay in education now you've nearly done it! I say that as someone who has just decided that she neither wants nor needs to do a degree, despite being in her final year, and has decided to stay anyway because she's almost there! I'm sure both you and I will appreciate our qualifications one day, and I don't think they're worth giving up on because of horses (however precious those horses may be to us).
I think your plan of staying in school and looking after the horses, then re-evaluating things after school finishes sound the best one. Good luck whatever you do!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top