Ginn
Well-Known Member
For those of you who read my post a few days ago re yards I thought I'd let you have an update.
I popped over and saw my YO tonight and we sat down and had a lovely long chat. She apologised for upsetting me so much when we last spoke and explained that she really didn't mean half of what she said but I'd caught her at an off moment. (She was full of flu, had just been told that she would either loose her job or have to take on more money and get the business back on its feet with no extra income, her MiL had just been admitted to hospital and my horse was tearing around the field having taken down all the fencing as fast as she'd tried to put it up.)
I had also spoken to my instructor who knows my YO, the set up on the yard, Tilly and myself inside and out and discussed with her what would be best for Tilly and explained what she had discussed with me with my YO. The conclusion of this was 3 main points for consideration: 1, that tilly did have to learn to cope on her own, however, 2, if this was likely to be a long term thing (i.e. more than another few months) she would be better moving and readdressing this at a later date. 3, That moving Tilly in itself may create more/different problems and cause Tilly different anxieties.
Having had a lovely long caht to my YO following this we came up with an action plan!
1: I will readdress the footpath fencing - Tilly will not touch it if it is well electrified, 2 she will not jump it if electrified and we may put in wooden posts to make it more solid as atm the wind keeps blowing it down and thus tilly has no respect for it! So I am going to invest in new fence tape and a strong fencer.
2. YO isn't looking for another horse - if she gets one it will be purchased and have to be "right" following the problems with Chelsea.
3. If YO decides not to get another horse, or hasn't seen anything suitable in the next few months then she will let out the grazing and spare stable to a second livery.
We will give things until march and see how they go.
But most of all I think YO felt terrible about upsetting me - as she said, she's know me since I was 5 and so "vented" when she last saw me, not realising that it would hurt me as much as it did. She also said that she loves having me and Till's up there and although we must do what is right for us, she doesn't want me to leave because of something she said and is more than happy to have tilly up there, provided she stays off the footpath (i.e. respects the fence!) And we will also look into getting company for Tilly but won't rush into getting the wrong horse like we did with Chelsea. The only thing YO did say is that until Till's is more settled she doesn't want to handle her etc as Tilly senses her nervousness and she finds her a bit too much. But as I have never expected her to do anything for Till's (though have been very greatful when she has!) this doesn't bother me - she is not her horse so she shouldn't need to do anything for her!
So, another essay Im afraid, but Im feeling much happier about everything. What do you think? Does this sound ok or do you think I am being silly?
I popped over and saw my YO tonight and we sat down and had a lovely long chat. She apologised for upsetting me so much when we last spoke and explained that she really didn't mean half of what she said but I'd caught her at an off moment. (She was full of flu, had just been told that she would either loose her job or have to take on more money and get the business back on its feet with no extra income, her MiL had just been admitted to hospital and my horse was tearing around the field having taken down all the fencing as fast as she'd tried to put it up.)
I had also spoken to my instructor who knows my YO, the set up on the yard, Tilly and myself inside and out and discussed with her what would be best for Tilly and explained what she had discussed with me with my YO. The conclusion of this was 3 main points for consideration: 1, that tilly did have to learn to cope on her own, however, 2, if this was likely to be a long term thing (i.e. more than another few months) she would be better moving and readdressing this at a later date. 3, That moving Tilly in itself may create more/different problems and cause Tilly different anxieties.
Having had a lovely long caht to my YO following this we came up with an action plan!
1: I will readdress the footpath fencing - Tilly will not touch it if it is well electrified, 2 she will not jump it if electrified and we may put in wooden posts to make it more solid as atm the wind keeps blowing it down and thus tilly has no respect for it! So I am going to invest in new fence tape and a strong fencer.
2. YO isn't looking for another horse - if she gets one it will be purchased and have to be "right" following the problems with Chelsea.
3. If YO decides not to get another horse, or hasn't seen anything suitable in the next few months then she will let out the grazing and spare stable to a second livery.
We will give things until march and see how they go.
But most of all I think YO felt terrible about upsetting me - as she said, she's know me since I was 5 and so "vented" when she last saw me, not realising that it would hurt me as much as it did. She also said that she loves having me and Till's up there and although we must do what is right for us, she doesn't want me to leave because of something she said and is more than happy to have tilly up there, provided she stays off the footpath (i.e. respects the fence!) And we will also look into getting company for Tilly but won't rush into getting the wrong horse like we did with Chelsea. The only thing YO did say is that until Till's is more settled she doesn't want to handle her etc as Tilly senses her nervousness and she finds her a bit too much. But as I have never expected her to do anything for Till's (though have been very greatful when she has!) this doesn't bother me - she is not her horse so she shouldn't need to do anything for her!
So, another essay Im afraid, but Im feeling much happier about everything. What do you think? Does this sound ok or do you think I am being silly?