UPDATE: Torn over loaner & moving yards...

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EquestrianFairy

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Firstly thanks to all those that responded to the original thread.

Unfortunately things have gone abit down hill with the relationship with me and my sharer- i always advocate being honest and after telling her about my thoughts to move yard (and obviously upsetting her in the process things have been strained the past few days)
I cant help but feel the yard has somehow gone against me- i went to watch her SJ my horse and quite a few people from the yard were there, no one spoke to me making me feel quite segregated. I dismissed this and hung around anyway for a while.

I got a funny text later on saying he didnt do very well and 'he needs his teeth doing' I ignored the fact it came across abit narky and said i would arrange it- i then had a text saying his shoe is also lose so can i arrange this (Generally because she rides more than me the sharer arranges the farrier but there we go so i have arranged this for my one day i ride)

I then go and pick up my new lorry on the sunday, the person who runs the yard or at least seems to was aware etc. and when my lorry arrived i had made sure he knew.
-This moring i get a text from someone else saying i need to ring the farmer.
So i do and at first she is confused as to why i was told to call her as she was intending to just come and find me, no one had told her my lorry was arriving and she was miffed because of this.
Obviously i apologised and stated i didnt realise the YM hadnt told her and of course it wont happen again however i cant help but feel that the information regarding my lorry arrival was been purposely missed being told to her.

*sigh*

I have found a nice new yard locally though.. now i just dont know whether to physically move!
 
What has your YO said regarding the damage to your car?

Honestly if I were you I'd pack my horse and my stuff in my new lorry and go to the new yard ASAP :cool:
 
From what you have said in this post and your last. I would just move. It sounds here like the people at your yard aren't worth knowing. If your sharer doesnt want to move with you i am sure that you will be able to find someone else who will love your horse as much as you do and would be willing to move with it.
hope things get settled soon. x
 
I've only just caught up with your posts.
The situation sounds very uncomfortable and I've been on yards where the tension is unbearable and it led to behaviour issues with my horse.
My advice would be to bite the bullet and move - especially with the sharer being a***y.

Best of luckx
 
I wouldn't put up with my Sharer sending me instructions like that! letting me know that horse has a loose shoe or whatever is one thing but telling me I need to call a farrier is a bit needless.

Sounds like the move will be a good thing. I'm on a yard that sounds very similar... I hate it... unfortunately it is evident that my horse doesn't!
 
Hi, i really feel for you, youve had such rotten luck, and it must be tough.

I do think, however, that you already know what to do....youre already catalogueing all the reasons why you should go...you know in your heart of hearts its what you need to do. But....your head is saying...but what about the sharer- shes normally so good etc... If you physically can cope without her for a few months, then i would make the move- sooner rather than later. Good sharers are around, i know, i both was one, and now have one. Tbh, however much you rely on your sharer now, she is starting to show her true colours with this recent behaviour, and I would say that if you do stay you'll only have more trouble with her- as she'll know you need her, and she'll run rings around you.

You're already mentally out the door, the YO sounds like a complete nightmare, the others on the yard not much better, the sharer should have your horse and your best interests at heart, and the fact that the yard has no liability insurance alone would make me run a mile.

Good luck making your decision, its never easy, but I honestly think that once you make it, you will have an overwhelming feeling of relief, and feel like a massive weight has lifted from you!

xx
 
Move and find some friendlier people and a nicer insured yard where you can settle and hopefully find a new sharer (new friendly people show be able to help with that) :)
 
I would move asap, i have seen on yards before where people have not liked someone and taken it out on the horse.
Not saying this would happen where you are but why risk it.
At the end of the day it is your horse and you are feeling uncomfortable going to visit your horse it is meant to be your pleasure time not an uncomfortable chore.
Sod there shared she is starting to treat you like crap and there is no need for that you are doing her a favour
so if you cant get my point MOVE
 
I 100% agree with what everyone has said it's all brilliant advice.

If it was me, and someone was telling me that I need to do this and I need to do that about my OWN horse I wouldn't be happy.

You could find such a nicer sharer out there and one that understands you etc. I would move yards I wouldn't put up with all the bitchy crap from everyone at the yard .. That's why I'm no
longer on a yard but in fields although I'm still friends with people at my old yard.

I wouldn't put up with it, the sharer will be gutted when you leave because shell have to find another horse but maybe itl do her some good by getting her to understand not to be so rude and that she is the sharer not the owner. Personally I'd move xx
 
If it were me i'd move. At the end of the day it's YOUR horse and YOU should be enjoying it, there are always more sharers, and tbh I think if i talked to the woman who owns my share like that i'd probably get told not to come back.
 
I'd echo everyone else's voice's tonight, your yard and sharer seem to be rather rude and personally you are the owner so do not have to put up with the attitudes of some people.

Sharer can go find herself another horse I'm sure, they're are plenty of people that would jump at the chance to be a sharer with a good horse and owner and a yard without such politics.

I would do what's best for you and your horse end of...

If it was me i'd be moving ASAP!!

best of luck
 
Merlywerly said:
I'd echo everyone else's voice's tonight, your yard and sharer seem to be rather rude and personally you are the owner so do not have to put up with the attitudes of some people.

Sharer can go find herself another horse I'm sure, they're are plenty of people that would jump at the chance to be a sharer with a good horse and owner and a yard without such politics.

I would do what's best for you and your horse end of...

If it was me i'd be moving ASAP!!

best of luck
Click to expand...

Thanks :-)

Im going to view a yard on saturday.. the website looks really nice so we'll see.
 
Blimey, when a horse I shared moved yards to 20 miles away, I followed him! I sucked it up for a while when he was moved another 25 miles again until other circumstances changed, but I guess I'm one of the only mugs in the country who would do that! ;)

Sounds like your sharer is putting her social life at the yard above the horse - let her, and find someone who will do the opposite ;)

ETS: I was a bit put out too when I found out my loan horse was moving, and was probably inadvetently grumpy when I didn't mean to be and knew it wasn't really justified. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt on the text messages, and just watch her attitude if she does decide to come with you.
 
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Having seen this I do not agree with what I wrote on your previous post.

If I was a sharer I would have more respect for you (the horses owner) than this girl. Although she has been brill up to now, she appears to have spat her dummy out because she cant have everything her own way. You do not need a sharer like this

I would move if I were you. I would feel I couldn't trust her anymore
 
Sharer sounds like she needs a bloody good kick up the you know where!!!!! You at the end of the day are the owner and should be treated with respect and courtesy i don't care how much she contributes. If it was me i'd have taken him off her at the show and told her to do one. There are plenty of other willing, friendly and well mannered people out there willing to share! perhaps speak to the farmer re insurance and car and see can they help given that YM is useless
 
Today i recieved two weeks notice from her and i am moving him yards closer to me.
Its a :-) and :-( situation but it was going to happen i feel.
 
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