Utterly demoralised- Long but will try to summarise...

PapaFrita

PapaFrita

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Have an arrangement at New Yard, whereby I exercise YO's horses and get PF's and A's livery 1/2 price. I also get jumping lessons on A.
Thing is, YO's horses keep bucking me off. I came off the same mare TWICE today. That's the third horse of his that's buried me, and only one of all of them hasn't TRIED (I bet he's thinking about it! though)
Also, YO is very very critical of my riding, which is fine because I really want to improve and progress, but he keeps hinting that the arrangement isn't working for him (because basically I'm useless!) Part of the problem is that when he gives me flat-work lessons on his horses (he's not nearly as critical when I'm on A, strangely) he doesn't listen to MY point of view and if I ask questions, he misinterprets... basically there IS a communication problem. Also, whilst he has a great eye for what's going on JUMPING, I don't think he's very good at sussing out what's going on on the flat and he seems to give a lot of contradictory instructions; first he tells me my contact is too light, then not enough, then he says I'm making his horses crooked, etc. etc.
Essentially, I would like to give up the arrangement as I feel like such a crap, useless rider, AND my confidence is taking something of a knocking, but I simply cannot afford PF's livery at full price. Any ideas what I can do??
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Today I very nearly decided to sell PF and take up crochet
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PF you are far from useless, I would love to be able to jump as well as you, I really would!!!

Not sure what to advise though, tough situation to be in
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Oh nightmare
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*hug* If you ended your current arrangement is there a possibility of moving your horses to another, cheaper yard? Or maybe find a sharer for one of your horses to help with the costs? It doesnt sound as though you are having much fun at the moment
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Sounds like my first driving instructor, total nightmare.

Is there any way you can talk to the YO to explain what you've explained to us, make him understand what's going on and tell him that his comments are sometimes unhelpful?
 
Not compared to the UK and that would be the perfect solution, but I can't afford it.
I suppose I should find somewhere to keep PF at grass, but I don't trust anyone!! You wouldn't either if you saw the conditions some horses are kept in!
 
Yes, I'll have to, but I'll have to get him in just the right mood... a bit pissed, perhaps! He's not a bad bloke, but he really doesn't listen and I always have loads of questions plus I like to tell him how the horse is feeling, if its trying to lean on my hands, stiffer on one side, etc and he just doesn't seem interested
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Dont know what you pay in livery, but it cant be cheap each month on full, maybe you should look to buy, it could work out better if you paid that back in a loan on your own land, if you see what im getting at.
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It sounds as though you are being used as a crash dummy which is not fair. Could you arrange to do other type's of work to pay towards your livery instead of risking your neck such as mucking out or lungeing rather than riding? Also there is no point having lessons from this person if you don't enjoy them and don't learn anything so if you drop the lesson part of the arrangement too you will have less livery to find I expect ? Or how about finding a part time job away from the yard and pay the going rate to the YO from wages you have earned elsewhere instead? Hope it works out for you.
 
Oh, what a horrible dilemma!

It sounds to me as if the root of the problem with the YO is that each of you has a different idea of how to school a horse. You know by how the horse 'feels' how it needs riding (assuming you can stay on it
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) whereas he doesn't seem interested in the nuances, and just wants a result.
I believe you will have to bite the bullet and put your point of view to him, and tell him that you are losing confidence - not with the horses, but because of his constant criticism. I am sure you can wrap this up in appropriate words?
Do not for a moment think that your riding is at fault - just think of the success you have had with Antifaz when I believe everyone but you had all but written him off as unrideable! If you can do that, you can do anything!
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Hard as it is, I don't think you have any choice but to continue with the arrangement and try to get him on your side. I hope you succeed. x
 
My mum is of the same opinion as you and is horrified that I've been bucked off so many times (I've only just told her!) The lessons on Antifaz are fine because I know how to ride him, I just CAN'T ride YO's horses because I don't understand what he wants (I feel they go fine when I'm left to my own devices) My mother also wants me to give up and will help towards livery but I will look out for other work.
 
See, that's one of the things that confuses me... obviously he must've thought I was competent or he wouldn't have agreed to the deal, and both A and PF are lovely rides; they're responsive, move STRAIGHT, and are fun and only I'VE ever schooled them (for the last couple of years, at least)
I will definitely speak to YO when he comes back from his show and try and get him to see my POV. I've only just told my mother about the falls and she's so horrified she wants me to quit straight away. If it comes to the worst, she'll help me pay for PF's livery until I can sort out a 'proper' job.
Thanks Caroline
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