Very small children on a livery yard - driving me mad.

Always Henesy

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This may be a bit of a long one so bear with me.
Before I go into the issue I have - understand that I am a Mum of 3 children & I have so been there/done that regarding children & horses.
I am currently on a lovely DIY livery yard. Two liveries have very small children. 1 girl aged 16 months, 1 boy aged 20 months & 1 baby girl aged 6 months. Another livery has a daughter aged about 2.
The children are left to wander around & pretty much do what they like. Anything I put down is walked off with, used to smack the car with, throw into the nearest water. One throws rubbish out of the car onto the yard, walks into my stable & throws bedding around, sometimes eats the horse poo - oh & the best one? - wanders off the school whilst people are schooling their horses/ponies.
The mother quite often leaves the children in the car. So the eldest has the windscreen wipers going, hazard lights flashing, hitting the horn over & over again. Either that or they are screaming at the top of their lungs whilst the mother is down the field/riding/doing whatever.
As a mother myself I feel I can't leave the children unattended if they are just "left" with me on the yard. Neither can I leave a baby screaming without trying to sooth him/her.
The other day the 2 year old was left in the car totally unsupervised whilst the mother watched her pony being ridden in the school. The child was constantly hitting the horn & ended up locking herself in the car. She was left for 45 minutes & in all that time was not checked on once by the mother.
Not only that but it is so dangerous when I am trying to lead/groom/tack up/feed my horses & I have tiny children riding their flaming toy tractors around the yard!
This is my "fun" time! I am meant to enjoy my horse & want to enjoy the time I spend with him - not spend the whole time pulling out small people from water butts & plug sockets! I am sick & tired of them being on the yard! Sometimes the noise & screaming drives me demented!
When mine were small I left them at home with my husband before he went to work (I was up at 5.30am) & again left them at home in the evenings. If my husband wasn't around then I arranged assistance for someone else to do my horse. Having my children on the yard when they were small was not something I was happy with.
I know I sound like a grinch but I am not sure I can stand it anymore. Who is responsible if my very large (18hh) horse was to kick or step on a small child? Who is responsible if something happened to the children whilst left in my care (even though this is not what I have agreed - they are just abandoned with me sometimes)?
Other liveries are also so fed up with it.
I have never seen or experienced anything like it in my life!
What would you do?
 

alison247

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This is why I bought a house with own yard as I never took my smallies with me but constantly babysat others! GGRRR
I know that I was extremely lucky to be able to do that before prices went crazy - I bought in the mid 90's.
Can you speak to the YO/YM have a meeting with ALL liveries? May be gently suggest the "Mums" take it in turn to baby sit the others kids whilst they ride/muckout and Vice Versa.
I know of one yard where they converted a stable into soft play- is that worth considering?
Dont envy you one bit :(
 

Limbo1

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You could try having a word but I am not sure it will work. Maybe time to look for a new yard.

This is why I like having mine at home My kids are very loud and they only annoy me not anyone else. They would be a total nightmare on a yard and I would not inflict them on others! I used to leave a sleeping baby in the car whilst doing horse but I could always see/hear them. Would not leave a toddler roaming - but some people do not see the risk!
 

Clodagh

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Do you have a yard manager or owner? I think it needs to come from them. TBH if it isn't sorted you will have to move, it would drive me insane and I am a parent as well.
 

OWLIE185

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To me it looks like an accident waiting to happen.
I would suggest that the owner of the yard needs to draw up a contract which includes a section on children and then enforces it.
 

Always Henesy

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Do you have a yard manager or owner? I think it needs to come from them. TBH if it isn't sorted you will have to move, it would drive me insane and I am a parent as well.

Yes the yard owner lives on site. I might just suggest she checks with her insurance company to see if they would cover a claim should any of the children suffer serious injury or worse :/ I would imagine as a business - she would be liable even if (in my opinion) the parent is negligent.
I may have to move on I think :( Shame because I actually really like the people including the mothers of the children from hell.
 

Echo Bravo

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Have a word with the YO as these children are far to young to be running round horses loose, as you said one step from your horse could do a lot of damage to young bones and it is inconsiderate of the parents for not supervising them
 

be positive

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Why does the YO allow the place to be used in this way, a stable yard is not a safe place for any young child let alone several under 2 years old to be left unsupervised for even a few minutes, I have one livery with young children they do come with her at times but only if her partner or friend comes with them to take over when required.
As a YO I could not put up with 3 of them running amok on a daily basis it would drive me demented, upset my other liveries not to mention the children being at risk, the YO needs to step in and lay down some proper rules before they have or cause a serious accident, if it means they move elsewhere then I am sure the spaces will quickly fill, otherwise I am equally sure other liveries will start to leave.
 

Always Henesy

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Why does the YO allow the place to be used in this way, a stable yard is not a safe place for any young child let alone several under 2 years old to be left unsupervised for even a few minutes, I have one livery with young children they do come with her at times but only if her partner or friend comes with them to take over when required.
As a YO I could not put up with 3 of them running amok on a daily basis it would drive me demented, upset my other liveries not to mention the children being at risk, the YO needs to step in and lay down some proper rules before they have or cause a serious accident, if it means they move elsewhere then I am sure the spaces will quickly fill, otherwise I am equally sure other liveries will start to leave.

I have no idea why something hasn't been said. Last week I arrived at the yard to see two mothers standing at the gate to the school watching a lesson & the 2 year old child about to go head first in the pop up swimming pool. I just would never have inflicted my children on other liveries at that age - because lets face it - you can't leave them unsupervised for a second!
 

Tash88

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As well as the above re speaking to YO I would be tempted to call social services as this sounds like neglect. Seriously, the child was locked in the car for 45 mins? I know she locked it herself by accident but that is disgraceful. I wonder how the kids get treated behind closed doors if they're like this at the yard, and it sounds like they don't want to be with their mums, probably because they're constantly ignored.

I'd hate to be in this situation and really feel for you, plus it is an accident waiting to happen. Are you on speaking/friendly terms with these women?
 

honetpot

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If you are really concerned about the welfare of the children contact your local Safe Guarding Team, it should be available on you councils website. Its sounds as if these kids are at risk.
I tackled a mum about the care or lack of care of her children on the yard. No pleasant but it had the desired effect.
 

Pilib

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I am a mother of a two year old and I have my own little yard within our farm yard. I don't let my daughter loose in the yard or anywhere near the horses unless supervised and I don't consider myself a very protective parent! What you describe is crazy! Like you say it's supposed to be your down time, your time to relax I think the other mothers are at best being rather rude and at worst a little neglectful of their children ��
 

Pocketr@cket

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I've been there and done it. When on a yard I never allowed or allow my children to run around doing their own thing. They either sit on a stool / in the car with iPads or brush the horse. I purposely rented our own land when they were little as it was easier all round. Now kids are bigger and have horses are a pita view, mum and that dam horse , she stinks of pee blah blah blah ... I've gone to a proper yard - so they don't come with me very often to annoy either myself or other liveries.

School holidays I make sure they are either with husband or family so I can have my time in peace but so I can relax which I never would be able to with them moaning at me, or if little being unattended.

YO needs to man up and ensure these parents are looking after their children whilst on the yard and not use it as a drop shop.
 

HiPo'sHuman

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Oh I really feel for you, that sounds like hell :( we pay too much money to have our hobby ruined in such a way! I've been on a similar yard in the past, even had my windscreen smashed by kids throwing rocks.

I have three kids between 3-9, try to get my jobs done during school/nursery hours (cannot wait until the youngest start school in september, lol!) so I just need to bring pony in when I've got the kids. I'm super prepared - iPads, snacks, drinks etc. I am mortified beyond belief should they start fighting and I can hear shouting coming from the car :( It is extremely hard to balance a horse with kids if you don't have babysitters but I do my best. There is no way I would ever dream of letting my children run loose on a yard! Don't the parents even care about the danger aspect not to mention the irritation it causes other liveries?!
 

buddylove

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Nightmare!! My kids rarely come to the yard, I can't be doing with trying to keep an eye on them and sort the horse. It's my time hence horse is on livery and their ponies are at home.
I really would be asking the YM to do something about it.
 

Always Henesy

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I am glad that I am not just being a grinch & that others agree with me. I will move I think. It is not enjoyable for me at all.
I would never have dreamed of letting my children run riot in a livery yard - especially under 3 years old!
Being with my horse is my down time & I end up feeling really stressed after being at the yard just 5 minutes.
Yes - she really did leave a 2 year old in a car for 45 minutes without checking on her once. I was on the yard as was another livery - but it just isn't my responsibility to look after someone else's child - even if she had asked me (she didn't). I left when she was frantically trying to persuade the child to unlock the doors.
I suppose I was raised to be respectful & considerate to others.
Thank you for all the response. It has helped so much just writing it all down.
 

rachk89

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Well it won't be your fault if the kids get injured while abandoned by their mother. You shouldn't be looking after them while the mother walks away and i know as you are a mother that will be difficult to do but it's the mothers fault. She may just start thinking more when she comes back and asks where the kid is and you tell her you don't know. It's not your responsibility to look after her kids.

Get the YO to do something about it and if they don't leave. It's a shame but you deserve to enjoy your horse not babysit some idiots brats. You aren't free childcare.
 

case895

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I complained to the yard owner of my first yard about other liveries turning up, dropping off their offspring and then disappearing. I would often be the only adult in the barn with them and as a male, this made me very uncomfortable.
 

wills_91

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I would be contacting SS if they are leaving kids unattended in the car is not on for that length of time. Your YO should be stepping in to. My 4 years old has come up to the yard with me since he was a baby, he is never left unattended or allowed to run around shouting & screaming nor do I ride when he is there. He enjoys "helping" muck out and always asks if he can fill water buckets, clean the feed buckets etc. He comes up maybe 2 days a week now would never dream of inflicting him on others if he was a pain or dumping him on others to ride!
 

Kylara

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I have a clause in my liveries agreement that states any children under 16 must be supervised at all times and accompanied by an adult. I'd be happy to mention to one of mine if they dumped child that they must have supervision for child or that they will either have to leave child at home or pay someone to babysit child.

My health and safety needs this clause, so I'd assume your YOs does too!

Alternatively, when I was younger and on a livery yard one of the liveries would muck out and shut small child in the stable (water bucket taken out!) with some toys and then would ride, come back and get small child to "clean" the numnah whilst she put horse to bed. Her stable was next to (facing) the arena so she could hear if anything went amiss, but it kept small child out of the way and entertained ;)
 

SusieT

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I think you should raise the issue with your yo - itwill only be a recent issue as the kids are only young so rules put in place now may work - who was there first though - them or you?
 

Always Henesy

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I think you should raise the issue with your yo - itwill only be a recent issue as the kids are only young so rules put in place now may work - who was there first though - them or you?

They were there before me.
If I had known that I would have to babysit/supervise these very small children I would never have gone to the yard.
Today the 20 month old was pushing the buggy with the baby around the yard & almost rammed it into the back of the mothers horse.
I just can't face it any longer - not without gin, 40 fags, ibuprofen, paracetamol or all of them. Sadly I have to drive...so the gin is out.
 

missk

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They were there before me.
If I had known that I would have to babysit/supervise these very small children I would never have gone to the yard.

I can only assume said Mothers feel they don't have to look out for their kids as they're quite happy for you/other people to do it.
Maybe easier said than done but leave them to it and enjoy your time there with your horse, as you've said kids were there before you and have survived.
 

Sugar_and_Spice

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I can only assume said Mothers feel they don't have to look out for their kids as they're quite happy for you/other people to do it.
Maybe easier said than done but leave them to it and enjoy your time there with your horse, as you've said kids were there before you and have survived.

This. You don't have to move, just muck out etc before bringing your horse in so they can't run round your horses legs, groom and tack up in the stable for the same reason, go for a hack when they're there for some peace and school when they aren't there.
 

rascal

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I really feel for you, years ago we had the same problem with my friends kid. She used to run around doing exactly what she wanted to do and everyone else on the yard had to lookout for her. The one day she put rat poison in one of the horses drinking water! In the end we moved, I hope you can sort this out, so you don't have to.
When our kids were little we rented a yard and grazing, for just our horses. We fenced off a bit of field for them and the dogs to use, they loved it. They had a paddling pool and plenty of toys, and they could make as much noise as they liked. They soon got the idea that they had to ask when they wanted to come into the yard and see the ponies.
 

Mike007

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My opinion is that the average horse has rather more intelligence than the average mother. This is the only reason that more kids dont get hurt.
 

mytwofriends

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What do your fellow liveries think? Might it be worth calling a yard meeting and airing your concerns? What a shame to be forced to leave an otherwise nice yard and nice people. Maybe if you (and other like minded people on the yard) made it clear that you're seriously thinking of moving on unless the kid issue is addressed, your YO might get a wakeup call and do something about it?

I wouldn't be able to deal with that situation. It's totally unacceptable in my book. I'm no grinch and I like kids (I have three, albeit their 20's now), but I've always found them highly irritating out of context. Likewise, I have issues with parents who take advantage. It's an accident waiting to happen - unfortunately it would most likely be a major accident.

Good luck, OP!
 

asmp

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This. You don't have to move, just muck out etc before bringing your horse in so they can't run round your horses legs, groom and tack up in the stable for the same reason, go for a hack when they're there for some peace and school when they aren't there.

Why on earth should OP have to change her routine to avoid the kids?
 
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