Violence and Pastings... setting the record straight

Queenbee

Queenbee

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Hi there all,

As some of you may know... I had a wee erm, 'holiday' due to another thread, and during that 'holiday' which was tres fabulous, the whole 'pasting-gate' ran on.

Many of you will breath a sigh of relief when I say this, but since Ben had his argument with an electric fence and four wodden posts that he broke:eek::eek::eek: he has been a peach to handle. He may well have been physically fine, but I think he may well have had a bruise ego from that. Anyway, regardless, despite very firm handling *gasps* with a whip in hand, he has not felt the thwack of a whip on his rug at any time. I feel sure the RSPCA will be pleased to hear. Although, regardless of peoples opinions, if he misbehaves and does not behave upon voice command and a tug on the rope, then yes, I probably will give him a whack, maybe even two. I mean no offence to others or their ways, and it is not a route I have been down for years, but ben is ben, and I always aliken him to kevin and perry the grumpy greasy petulant teens.

I have peeked at the thread this evening, and as a result have decided to post this. I agree with wagtail, that my choice of terminology was perhaps wont to spark out rage and beating of drums, I did however credit that the majority of H&H would know me, and understand a bit of tongue in cheek humour: 'shock horror horse beater' and such, sadly not so much. Furthermore, yes, psyching myself up to give my horse a pasting... hmm, well, pickles couldn't stand a whip and I never rode either him or ebony in spurs or a whip, well unless competing on Ebs, and then it was never used. If you ever had a whip with Pix, it was stowed in your boot, redundant, so no use... see where I am going with this. Pickles used to rear up on a lungeline on sight of a lunge whip, so afraid and beated when I got him he was. So really, and knowing me from my posts on here, I assumed wrongly that people would understand that yes... I would have to 'psych' myself up to physically reprimand a horse, even if it was one or even two hits with a whip on a bleeding rug.

My entire life I have spent rescuing beaten, neglected horses emotionally and physically pushed to the edge. Ebony and Ben are the only two that never had that life before me. Please do not ever insult me by suggesting I could be so reprehensible and savage as beating a horse and turning it into something I used to have to painstakingly and lovingly fix!

And no, magic melon I did not truly want my horse to get hurt by his ordeal with the fencing, but I was slightly miffed and trying to express a sense of humour since he had just destroyed half of his permanent electric fencing. I shall not joke in the future.

Finally, Ben does not like sharing his paddock with other horses since he lost Ebony, this is a fact he becomes aggressive and there are not the right horses there to deal with this even if 'sharing paddocks' were an option, I actually believe that since he is very happy and content in his own paddock, if it were an option (which it isn't) to force him to share, because it is 'the natural way of things' would not be fair to him. He loves his stable and solitude and people more than anything, his dam and Ebs were his world, never any other horse, he has only ever tolerate one other a gelding that was way bigger and grumpier than him and he went for him after he lost Ebony. However, just because he loves people, this does not mean that they can't be firm with him Amymay. This is not sad for him, it is black and white. He was Emotionally put back in his gremlin cage for a few days, and he is praised at the end of a task for being good.

He is greeted with a 'Hello baby boy' as I round the corner and he whinneys a welcome, I don my hat, pick up my whip and give him a growly *i mean business* 'back up' before we leave the stable. when he has walked properly and respectfully, he has a pat, a scratch, a 'good boy' and is turned away. The other day he went out with a scowl and ears back tail swishing all the way and coiled like a spring, he was held firm, but not reprimanded because it was pouring dowl and the yard was flooded, and he despises and is wary of puddles' on the other hand if the day was sunny and dry and he tried that on with me, I would tell him to grow up.

I hope that goes a small way to clearing up my verbal sense of offensive humour when my horse had just caused a load of damage at the yard.
 
Oh crikey that has been weighing on your mind hasn't it :( I don't know you well but I do know that things make us frustrated sometimes and that's not a recipe for a well worded post!

I am sure the people on here that matter to you understood what you meant

Don't waste any more emotion on it, you will just get drained x
 
QB I knew what you were like and we have rarely talked, but I could see that with that post you had to move past what you thought.

Well done QB you are one of the most inspiring people on here. Ignore the haters youll do right.
 
I'm glad you posted this! While I always knew what you meant, I'm glad you came to clear it up.
Words are so often taken the wrong way on here, several of my threads have taken a nose-dive because of a typo or a poorly put together sentence.

Glad to see you're back, I worried when I saw your name in dark red!
 
WelshD said:
Oh crikey that has been weighing on your mind hasn't it :( I don't know you well but I do know that things make us frustrated sometimes and that's not a recipe for a well worded post!

I am sure the people on here that matter to you understood what you meant

Don't waste any more emotion on it, you will just get drained x
Click to expand...

Actually, it really hadn't until I took a peek tonight, I would add as a side note that there were really some very supportive posts on there, relating to my nature, and how I come across on H&H. However I saw that there were people that actually really shocked me, admitting that they had acted in temper before but berating 'conscious reprimand', that I was going to hurt him with a chiffney (when he is a saint with anything in his mouth :() or that he is being overworked when he hasn't worked properly for over a month and is just about to start hacking as he was about 3/4 times a week, maybe one schooling session in those 3/4. And one person who very bluntly mentioned the death of Eb's, that did smart a lot. Ben is a lovely well rounded youngster who has been through a hell of a lot this last year and went off the rails, and I know him and I love him. In no way do I try to instil my values on him, forcing a square peg into a round hole.

But yes, tonight i got miffed and yes the record as far as I can see is as straight as it will ever be, I have said my peice on the matter, as I felt I should :o
 
I wouldn't feel you had to justify yourself to folk on here :) he's your horse after all and how you chose to make him mind his manners is your own affair :)

Glad to hear everything is ok and he's none the worst for wear after trashing hos fences.
 
sitch said:
QB I knew what you were like and we have rarely talked, but I could see that with that post you had to move past what you thought.

Well done QB you are one of the most inspiring people on here. Ignore the haters youll do right.
Click to expand...

It wasn't so much 'moving past' it was the fact that from that day he has been an absolute foot perfect angel, if I were ever to 'consciously reprimand' a horse, it would only be as a response to unacceptable dangerous behaviour. (I think that may be what you are talking about) On the other hand, thinking about taking up a stick and using it in any form after nearly 20 odd years of having horses that had been at the recieving end of brutality, or were like ebs and would emotionally break because of it, really was a hard thing to even consider, but if needed I would have done it, and would in the future.

It is also really hard getting used to a whole different character, I mean, I have owned him since he was 6 months, but his character has become so arrogant since becoming a big 'riding boy':rolleyes: he prance round like the big I am, not like her, she did this but with such finesse, he is just 'I am the stud, I am a man'! then the next minute 'I am the sleepy baby bear' He is and always has been 'set up to succeed' but sometimes he tests boundaries, they all do, and I have never been a believer that all horses should be handled the same way... they are as individual as you or I :D
 
I'm another who is glad to see you have posted. I also knew where you were coming from on 'the' thread and exactly what you meant, having picked up from previous threads something of the sort of person you were I never thought for a second that Ben was in danger of being 'beaten'. The thing is that when big boys become arrogant and bolshy they can quickly become dangerous and you were clear that you were not going to let that happen. He sadly doesn't have Ebony there to make him mind his manners anymore so that is now on your shoulders. I am so glad that things have settled down and he is back to being a good boy.

I hope you have learned which words not to use on your posts though! :)
 
Youngsters, aren't they great! I went back and read some of the threads on Ben. One I replied to at Christmas time last year. I said, nothing like our own youngsters to make us feel like failures! I mean that too.

I had my last 2 foals in 2010. Sold the colt at weaning and kept my filly. Had been breeding since 2004. They went on to do the jobs bred for. Most quite well. People kept saying to me, you will miss the babies in the spring. Well yes, but mostly no. Turning out solid citizens for new owners to have good horses underneath them is never easy. My first 2 foals were super easy and did everything by the book. My third one, out of the same made as the other 2 was nicknamed "Satan's child" at 3 days. I spent more time crying about being a useless horseman over her. Thing is this was my dream mare I waited for since I was 7. Seriously. LOL! At one point I turned her over completely for my husband to handle. I was becoming more and more useless. You couldn't beat Abba but you sure couldn't give her an inch at any time either. She taught me more about consistency than any other horse ever could. It wasn't til the back end of her 3yo year that I had glimmers of the fantastic never ever let you down under saddle mare I was to have. Plus at 2 1/2 years of age I came out one morning to see her spinning in circles, flipping over, and acting blind. Vet was on an emergency call so we had to wait 2 hours. We cleaned their box and I sat on the ground while my husband got Abba positioned with her head on my lap. John brought me coffee and I just talked to her the whole time stroking her. It was determined she had a head or neck injury. Sending her to a clinic in that state wasn't an option and it wouldn't have changed a thing. Treatment would be the same. It either worked or didn't. Amazingly she lived. Of course after 5 days vet decided some outside time under tranq was necessary instead of the prescribed 3 weeks. She was back to being Satan's Child and in danger of injuring herself again. I still see her on the camera like a bouncing bean.

It got worse the following year when our group of mares and foals were playing. I was in the arena on one when I saw them galloping by. Nothing crazy just bucking and having fun. Next I heard a sickening thud. Jumped off the mare in the arena, tucked in the reins, and ran to the gate. There in a heap at the bottom was a beautiful little filly with a broken neck. The following year one of my broodmares savaged and killed another mare's foal. Well had to be put down due to her hind leg being broken in half. That well and truly took the wind out of my sails. I'm not really over that 4 1/2 years on because I still blame myself.

Getting them safely to the age of breaking and them becoming solid little citizens for the future is no easy feat. You need them brimming with confidence yet with manners and never to give them a fright. They constantly test all of your abilities and what you're made of. But wow, once you've stuck it through and that former wild child gives you 110% every time you're in the saddle, there's no better feeling. It was all worth it.

So while mostly I don't miss raising babies through to adulthood, a tiny part does. My 2 1/2 year old Cupcake is going through her terrible two's. Into any devilment she can find. She's out with older mares and Abba. Abba gives her play and the others put manners on her so I leave her be. She likes to try and dive past when you bring another out for work. If the electric fence is off Cupcake let's us know. A bunch of annoyances that for the most part I must leave. She is a baby that if I need to I can do anything with. Don't have to worry about her not having confidence! It's also rather funny if you're in a situation you need to say boldly, "gosh darn it ( the clean version) Cupcake! Who cusses out a Cupcake! LOL!

So I do get your plight and frustration. I said as much in my post to you. One day it will be fine. Til then stay consistent and firm.

Terri
 
I knew you where really not going to paste him all along !
It a bit of an issue on here when people make over statements as a descriptive tool and get a bit of a pasting for it in the real world in speech many people do it all the to time " I'm going to kill him if he does that" everyone knows people don't mean that ( Apart from of course i would have to admit in some circles they do ,like perhaps the mafia ) .
In print it seems it produces varied results .
I glad he behaving better young horses often go though a yob stage.
 
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