WARNING! Total and utter teddys out of cot moment alert

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Hovis_and_SidsMum

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ITS NOT FAIR! * stamps feet, cries hysterically, jumps up and down and throws a general hissy*
I want NORMAL horses. I want sleek beautiful creatures that you waft a brush in the direction of and they are instantly clean, I want horses that understand their dinner should stay in their buckets and not be snorted nasally, I want horses that don't think snot dripping down their rug is a good look, I want a horse that knows a haynet is for eating not rubbing its newly brushed mane all over......... I want a horse with STANDARDS.

I do not want a big beast with Molasses stuck to every orrifice, up his big white blaze, on his knees, his feathers, in his EARS (?!!) and glued to his eyelashes. Especially when I spent an hour last night cleaning him harder than a low cost Polish car wash ready for the farrier coming today. I am banning lickits in our household. I am placing an embargo on anything with a dribble factor. I am going on STRIKE!

In a vain hope of feeling better I fled sobbing to see the retired one and he is just minging. He already has no forelock left from the surgical removal of the worlds supply of sticky buds a few weeks ago, and now he has a tail that could be used to clean chimneys its that stiff with sticky buds, mud in places mud shouldn't get, his black mane is now ginger, his legs look like he is wearing over the knee brown boots, his nice new rug has changed colour, oh and his ear hair tufts are glued together so he looks like Yoda.

Some one save my sanity and swap me these two for something NICE. 7 working legs between two ain't that bad? Please? *Whimpers* Pretty please.......
 
Aw bless! here's a nice lolly now get back in the pram.

You may think you want sleek bodies but I bet you can ride your hairies anywhere and through anything. Am seriously thinking of running a hairy sensible body next to my ditzy mare.
 
Nah, stick with your fab hairys! (do loose the awful molassed licks and lickits though - work of the devil!). Seeing those on my yard dress their flimsy shiny horses in millions of rugs, and with concern enquiring on a drizzly but v mild morning 'are you turning out?' makes me thrilled to stick with my hard as nails mare! (ahem, even if she is grey / mainly stained with mud and poo!).
 
I'll swap your hairy molasses and slobber encrusted monster for my life of hay free hair, no shavings in the car, horse slobber free clothes etc etc etc

I'm horseless as the moment and it all sounds pretty good to me!
 
Hehehehehe! Very good! I have to say, your horses sound full of character and I wouldn't change them for the world :) (Just laugh a lot, molasses and all :D )
 
Its worse than you think - Sid ISN'T a hairy. He's very well bred Hanovarian whose daddy used to Puissance (daarrrllliiing). With Hovis' mother not being fussy I can understand her breeding a tramp but you'd think breeding like Sids would dictate a degree of decorum. Alas not.
The Destroyer only had a lickit as its was three years on sunday since I bought the filthy trollop. He may not live to see year 4...........
 
I think you have just described my husband! :D

Maybe I should swap him for something nice too.

.... any Italian Stallions going spare?
 
He must think it's more fun that way then!! I have just given up trying to emulate the shiny tidy horses. Much better! Would suggest for a calm life you try the same :-))
 
Poor You

I also feel your pain.

I have an Andalusian (bay thank god) who has masses of long thick mane. Despite a full neck rug he still ends up with mud right the way down on his withers. Sometimes he comes in and it looks like he has jewelry hanging from his neck, as he seems to make mud balls that hang on the ends of his mane and make a noise as they clang together!
 
I feel your pain! I've got a well bred TBxID who is supposed to be a slinky, sleek, shiny beast but who has turned out to be a mud monster who was obviously a hippo in a previous life.

AND she's grey. :p

Doesn't matter what type of Likit I get she always manages to end up wearing most of it - think pink (cherry) or blue (mint) streaks. Mind you, she hasn't managed to get it in her ears yet. That IS the work of pure genius!

Bless 'em. At least they've got character!
 
Ah - don't you love em eh....

I will never be buying one of those likit things after seeing what a mess they can cause. Sorry - do not care if my horse is in some way being deprived - she is a grey.....
 
If you find a yard selling this type of horse please tell me, also i want one that mucks its self out too!!!

Just think of the hours you would have to spend getting fit in the gym if you didn't have such kind horses who get so dirty for you to work out grooming them, hehehehe. They sound like adorable monkeys.
 
I really feel for you having been down to this yard this morning to find my lovely grey has had his nap in his dung and has a lovely s*** coloured head Don't you love greys not!

Naturally - Do you think that he will be allowed anywhere near the laptop with all that gunk on him!! I laughed so much daughter had to come and have a read too.
 
May I suggest an investment................

One of these

130620091721.jpg


This along with a tail bag, t/o rug on top and leg wraps even manage to defeat Farra's attempt to turn her from a show clydesdale but to a muddy slob.

My two have very muddy legs covered in oil and are coming in having had lovely wallows. Stinky's mane and tail are bagged up and Farra will be done this weekend after I spent more time than I would like getting the thick crust off her mane and the new lumps of clay out of her tail last night.

Just keep telling yourself he has lots of character and you would soon be bored with a clean and tidy well behaved horse - I do and I am sure it will work soon.:)
 
I sympathise I have a hairy welshy who insists on having his mane resemble dreadlocks...no matter what I do and I'm sure he must go face first into the mud, how else does he always have mud right in the middle of his forehead and as for the oh suppossedly sleek and sensible TB...have you ever tried to get one of those licket tubs off a hoof!:eek:
 
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