What’s the most embarrassing thing your horse has done

[Chocoholic]

After reading some of the funny stories posted on my cleaning up after your horse post I thought I’d create this post for fun asking what’s the most embarrassing thing your horse has done........hit me with your hilarious stories ???

 

[rextherobber]

I forgot about a zoom meeting and ended up on my phone in the tack room, adjacent to the stable where ,during a rare pause, off camera but within mic range, my horse proceeded to have a lengthy wee ,accompanied by much theatrical groaning

 

[Quigleyandme]

My Dales got loose on a show ground and proceeded to rummage around in a very smart tailgate picnic then went through the bins at a concession van and as a coup de grace swiped every trophy, rosette, entry form and pen off the secretary’s table.

 

[tiahatti]

Tia ate someone's bouquet. But she is more than happy to eat anything.

 

[milliepops]

My retired mare pushed her way through an enormous overgrown blackthorn hedge into the churchyard next door for a jolly, and refused to be led back through ?

 

[Gloi]

Long ago I was half way across a traffic light junction in the trap when pony decided to slam on the brakes and he needed a pee right now and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
Caused traffic chaos blocking the junction and peeing through two full changes of lights. He did pick his moments.

This is the clean version of my most embarrassing moments.?

 

[Fluffypiglet]

Mine snorted very loudly (danger snort with tail flagged up over his back) at a mum and her two sons who had been jogging. He'd got over excited about following them on our hack (he likes following people) and as they turned to go back the way they had come he stopped dead and did a huge loud snort at them. Which made me laugh which was unfortunate as the lady looked terrified. He always makes me crack out laughing when he snorts, I must look bonkers. Plus he likes to stop and stare at people. Really stare... And won't move until he's finished his stare.

 

[Pinkvboots]

Chewing other liveries rugs on a regular basis thankfully he outgrew this but it went on for several years.

 

[Celtic Fringe]

Riding my son's horse back through the village we met a lovely family out for a Sunday stroll. Horse decided he couldn't wait and proceeded to pee, accompanied by much groaning. The poor unsuspecting family were almost wading through a stream of horse wee. I suspect we put them off the countryside for quite a while.

I took a colleague and some students into the field with the herd. Old cob was quite relaxed, enjoyed the fuss and lets just say he let everything hang out! I think the horse with the 'fifth leg' was the only thing that the students remembered from their morning out!

 

[wiglet]

Last spring I was hacking out with a friend and a lady with a pushchair was walking closely behind me. I knew her vaguely, she was horsey but... my horse decided to poop. It was spring grass time. It was smelly. It was messy. It splattered her pushchair extensively. She took it in good grace - I bet the stains never came out.

 

[Pippity]

I took her out showing. It was only the second time we'd been out for a competition. The first was an attempt at dressage where she was extremely wound up and fled the arena as soon as she caught sight of herself in the mirrors. For showing, I thought I'd set us up to succeed and just do an in-hand class.

She came off the lorry, and her head was straight down grazing. I managed to haul her head up long enough to get her in the ring. She walked round half-asleep, woke up to trot, and then we headed into the line-up. At which point, she rested her head on my shoulder and fell asleep.

We came last.

 

[Squeak]

My beloved old boy had a big sense of humour... Some of the things he did to me over the years:

Stopped in the middle of the busiest road he could to pee and held up all the traffic while he did it.
Stopped to pee on either the centre line at the beginning or end of a dressage test (so many times!).
Peed in the line up of a showing class.
Entered a tack and turnout class for him to start flinging bright green slobber over the two most immaculate greys you've ever seen either side of us in the line up.
When he was on livery in an American barn he was stabled next to a horse whose owner was pedantic about her bed... Yup he pooped through the bars in to her stable.
When we went to one of the big international horse trials to do the inter hunt relay, he decided that was the day to break loose from the lorry and go high tailing it around the rather large lorry park with me and a string of 5* eventers grooms following him.

 

[Baywonder]

I took my old boy to a show once. Pulled up, opened the ramp of the trailer and he stood there, ears pricked with a 'look at me' attitude about him. I very proudly started to lead him down the ramp, whilst other competitors looked on at this gorgeous horse. As soon as his front feet touched the grass, he stopped dead, put his head down and started eating. I very nearly fell flat on my face as I wasn't expecting him to do an abrupt halt, and I spent the next few minutes desperately trying to lift his head up and actually get him off the dratted ramp! ?

 

[Baywonder]

Oh and when I had my very first pony, one of the other liveries was getting her horse ready for a Best Turned Out class. She was crouched at the back of her horse, putting the finishing touches to her hooves, when said horse decided to drop a massive sloppy green poo all down her arm. ?

 

[Annagain]

Eb loved an embarrassing wee. If he had to go, he had to go. We held up traffic and created rivers in the road on several occasions.

The worst one though was when I was about 14. A local woman had rescued a foal in a very bad state just before Christmas and a bunch of us kids at the yard decided to go carol singing on horseback to raise money for him. At one house, I was at the front as Eb was good about getting close enough to ring doorbells. I rang the bell and we started singing. The homeowner answered the door half way through We Wish you a Merry Christmas to be greeted with a Welsh cob in a santa hat peeing away to his heart's content and a raging torrent in her driveway.

My first pony topped that though. We have "the common" in our village. Horse riders are allowed to ride on the perimeter and there's a rugby pitch and cricket pitch in the middle. One day as we rode along the common there was quite an important (judging by the 100 strong crowd - it was normally one man and his dog) match going on. Blue was fascinated to the point where he wasn't looking where he was going, tripped, frightened himself, broncked and got me off. In front of 100 people. That wasn't enough though....he then ran onto the pitch, stuck his head down and started eating.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Spud was a very loud farter. Final walk round in a family pony class (we had been pulled in 1st) when passing the judge, he let rip. I turned round and pushed his tail down. Judge laughed and said "I should think so too!" Still got the red frilly. ?

 

[throwawayaccount]

I work remotely a lot, and sometimes work in my locker thats at the back of my stable. my mare loves to watch me and is very keen on my keyboard! she plonked her nose right on it while I was on a live (remote support) session the other day, and sent random characters to the user- I had to explain it was my horse and sent a photo of my horse when she didn't believe me!!

 

[pixie27]

I was helping my YM with a project pony, a v opinionated NF. He didn't like hacking out alone, so we were trying to work through that. A friend and I took him out (her on foot), got to his normal 'sticky' point, and he started backing up and planting. Decided to wait him out. A HUUUGE man then walked past, patted pony on the neck and said hello, then continued on. Pony decided he loved this man and sprang up in trot. He followed him down the lane and kept refusing to turn away. Luckily giant man had grown up with horses in Poland and found it very funny. Said we (well, the pony) were welcome to join him at the pub...

Another time, I was riding a friend's 4 y/o at his first dressage show. We were waiting for the judge to beep her horn, when someone in the lorry park dropped their ramp. Pony went skywards and deposited me about half a foot from the bonnet of the judge's very new, very expensive BMW.

My old TB also went through a phase of mounting his field mate - my friend's young gelding. They had such a bromance anyway, but we were both a bit shocked to see them take it to that stage!

 

[ihatework]

A young horse of mine, leant over his field fence and deheaded a bank of daffodils that the father of the yard owner had planted (and looked beautiful). I clearly remember him storming onto the yard ‘who owns that effing grey horse in the field’. I hid in the stable ?

He had picked them off one by one and spat them out!

 

[J&S]

My daughter and I were going to a very local dressage competition. She was on first so I sent her off to warm up and was planning to follow in the next 20 min or so. Now this pony of hers did have a nappy, obstinate streak which we had to work on every now and then but essentially was a great child's pony. Any way, I was about to start off with my pony when up the drive walks this strange man with a very bloody nose........... "Your daughter and her pony are in my garden and the pony is eating every thing in sight and I/we can't get him out!" Man had obviously got a bop on the nose for his troubles. I dashed round and at the very sight of me weilding my schooling whip said pony left the garden hastily! I made a trip there later with a box of chocs!

 

[Mustard]

My daughter was sitting on her 18h horse at a show, chatting to a friend. The horse reached over the shoulder of a woman who had stopped in front of him and stole her beefburger right out of her hand.

 

[ponyparty]

Not my horse (I must have my rose tinted specs on as I can't remember a single embarrassing thing he did - he was perfect don't you know!) - this one belonged to a girl I worked with on a yard some years back. It was (still is) an RDA centre, and we were getting a visit from Princess Anne to give the ponies (and - unbeknownst to her - the owner!) long-service awards.

The gate onto the (fast, main) road was open for visitors to arrive, and all the gates all the way down to the fields were open ready for HRH to arrive by helicopter, then be driven up in a Land Rover. All the horses were of course, safely tucked away in their stables. Or were they..?

Minutes before the Princess Royal was due to arrive, whilst sweeping the yard and doing the final bits of prep, I heard a clatter of hooves and turned around in time to see a grey tail disappearing round the corner at warp speed, towards the gate to the main road. The worst horse you could possibly imagine escaping - a young ex-racer whose stable name was Devil (apt) - had somehow got loose. We managed to block him from the driveway up to the main road, but he wasn't in the mood for being caught and took off down towards the fields where the helicopter was due to land in literally a couple of minutes time.

Luckily, he was spooked by the unusual sight of the Land Rover in the bottom field, and turned off into a side field where he was caught, and returned to his box, unscathed, with seconds to spare. Absolutely hilarious in hindsight but somewhat stressful at the time! His owner was in pieces, bless her!

I'm pretty sure that Princess Anne would have found the whole debacle amusing. Soon after, once the long service awards were under way, she was awarding a rosette to the pony I was leading. He'd been a (very successful) show pony before going to the RDA, so should have been well used to rosettes - yet when she went to attach his rosette to his bridle he spooked like he'd never seen one before! She said something like "that's horses for you" (can't remember the exact phrase), with a smile

 

[Asha]

We where selling a pony as my daughter had outgrown him. A rather well to do lady came with her little girl, Perky ( aptly named) herded another pony round in front of them and jumped on the back of pony and started humping her. They left quickly,

Had a knock on the door.. is your foal meant to be in your neighbours garden ? ( lovely lady who walks passed us everyday and knows all the neddies very well)

 

[Janah]

I was hacking past a local pub with tables outside the front on a narrowish lane, it was lunchtime and busy as a Sunday. My boy went from brisk trot to emergency halt and proceeded to do the longest smelliest pee, ever. I was so embarrassed, all I could do was sit there pretending nothing untoward was happening. Just to add the accompanying farts were heroic and would have alerted hounds for miles around!

Ano0ther day I was riding and leading a small pony. A bus was passing us from opposite direction and small pony decided to stop to poo. She nearly dragged me off of the back of the saddle as my boy kept going. He was too busy gawping at the bus to take any notice of me. the shame as I knew several of the people on the bus.

 

[scruffyponies]

In the last few years, it was the welsh who decided to take sudden evasive action on spotting a pile of twigs by the church gate... slamming the metal shafte of the cart straight into the side of a parked car. Expensive, as well as embarassing.

Longer ago, my first pony had a habit of 'running away' in all paces, including walk, when it suited him. He was particularly fond of breaking suddenly to canter and heading down the driveway of any house that took his fancy. He would only stop when he got to the house, and the houses that he liked were always the type with half-mile driveways, tennis courts, huge gravel turning circles and irate gardeners.

 

[Boulty]

The orange one had many... The one currently standing out would be turning up Liverpool vet school, dropping the ramp & realising that he'd destroyed the leadrope clip. Had to borrow a leadrope from reception... Oh & about 20 minutes later being summoned to the stable to catch him as he wouldn't let any of the staff near ?

Same orange pony at the first camp we ever went to he nearly came over the stable door about 10 seconds after being put in. Tbf lorry had blown a tyre on the way so had been a long journey & he was a stresshead anyway. Never has a bale of haylage for distraction purposes been opened so quickly! He also tipped water all over the friend I went with when she offered him a drink en route!

Fuzzball well that would be the 7pm phonecall to come & remove him from the field he'd ducked the fence to get into (in the dark) & to then remove him from the yard ASAP

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Loving some of these tales!!

My old boy (sadly no longer with me) did something which at the time seemed hilarious. We were out hacking, going down a steep hill, and there was a bloke with a dog coming towards us in the distance. He decided he wanted to have a wee, and after all the huffing and puffing performance that he'd always put on, the event finally happened.

It was a steep hill........ the bloke with the dog was by this time about 10m away, and basically what happened was that a tsunami happened!! It was just like someone had tipped over a keg of beer.......... seriously. My great Loon then started to spook at the tidal wave of his own wee running alongside him and was dancing around like a total idiot.

Poor bloke with dog had to climb up the bank to avoid being swept away by the deluge.

One of those rides you never ever forget.........

 

[Flowerofthefen]

Poo'd in the clear round money collection tin that was left on the floor outside the ring!!

 

[Boulty]

Just thought of another one the bay paragon of virtue that I had as a teenager... I kept him at a riding school / livery yard. Was leading him in with a friend's mare so we could go for a ride together. Normally they hated each other but she must've been in season. Right when we were level with an arena full of young kids having a lesson saintly pony decided he suddenly found her irresistible & that he must mount her immediately... From the wrong end! Never saw him try to mount anything else in all time I had him & they were back to hating each other the next day

 

[Annagain]

My friend left her horse on the trailer for 10 minutes as she went to do her entries at a large county show. He had form for escaping so it had been left entirely closed up, all top doors shut, everything. Nobody admitted to it so we can only assume he was making a fuss and someone opened the jockey door to see what he was doing. This was enough for him come over the breast bar and squeeze out (we'd seen him do this before). He then managed to make his way through the collecting ring into the main arena and was having a lovely old gallop about the fences. The schedule meant the big classes the pros were all jumping were on before hers so there was a massive crowd. The first she knew of it was when she saw a bright pink rug go flying past the secretary's tent at the side of the ring!