What are your funniest/fail competition moments

[SafeInSage]

In light of the fact I am hoping to do my first dressage test soon (ridden for many years, figure I ought to get out there competing!), can anyone ease my nerves and offer a laugh with their funniest fails/moments at competitions.

 

[iknowmyvalue]

Slipped whilst getting on off a fence before my first test, spooked my horse who went for a gallop round the car park and did a spectacular face plant into the dirt in full competition gear. If you were wondering if the dirt smears came off the jodhpurs, they did not ??

 

[Laurac13]

I took my mini Shetland to a showing show ? on the trot up I looked down and he was cantering ? and when were all walking around the ring just as the judge looked over he stopped and pee’d ? we didn’t get placed obviously ?

 

[vmac66]

Came off in my first ever dressage test. Had nearly finished the test (Intro A) and as I asked my horse to go into trot she stumbled then stumbled again. I came off sideways, was slightly winded so lay there thinking you stupid cow. Got breath back and was allowed to finish the test even though I'd been disqualified. Saddle had slipped to the right so came down the centre line leaning to the right.
Lesson learnt, make sure your horse is going forward properly.

 

[smolmaus]

I did my very first dressage test last week! It was pony's first too and she was coping like an absolute pro until she saw her shadow in the warmup, bucked (first one of those under saddle too), had me off then stood on me my god the bruise was beautiful, all the colours of the rainbow.

 

[cindars]

Not sure if it's funny but friend and I were doing a veterans class,not placed because our two were too lively

 

[misst]

I wrote for a dressage judge at a PC camp where they had to learn the test and not have a reader. It was going well until a girl came along and instead of riding round the outside she entered straight away and warmed up in the arena. The judge gently got out of the car and explained she should be outside and he would toot the horn to indicate the start of the test. She rode round the outside until he tooted then did some movements like circles outside the arena bless her! She was about 10 years old so he got out of the car and explained again. She then entered at A and seemed to do a completely random test! He wrote some nice things on her test including "what a lovely smile you have!". I nearly cried I laughed so much.
At the same camp my daughters pony jumped the arena markers and had a complete hissy fit and then she managed to get her to jump back in and finish the test. The same judge wrote "good job you have such a sticky bum".

 

[SEL]

Well I sent the judge and her writer scrambling for cover after brake failure down the centre line. Bet they wished they'd stayed in the car despite the heat

 

[nikkimariet]

I turned up on a Sunday for two tests. Cheerfully announced my name to the parking steward. And it quickly became apparent I had entered Saturday.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I was doing Horse and Hound jumping where you jump the horse then get off and run with the dog. As we entered the ring my dog peed on the judge's wellington!

 

[BBP]

30-something year old welsh B in a ridden veterans class, on the group canter round, saddle slipped a bit forwards, pony shoved her head between her knees and started bucking, then took off and overtook all the ponies and horses in front triggering something of a veterans stampede around the show ring.

 

[Boughtabay]

as a child I would fall off at the same jump on our local xc every year (relatively big steep ditch on a 12.2 with a SPRINGY back end = catapult). I never stuck it, not once.

 

[SafeInSage]

These are hilarious, thanks all. Think I might do an online test first to avoid the fails I know I’ll have on the spooky girl ?

 

[blitznbobs]

To have a pony in a whp class land two feet on either side of a jump (jump still upright) me sat on floor shaking with anger then laughter as judge and legend (John Clarke, for those that remember him, God rest his soul ) tried to decide if it was a stop, a knock down, both and also a constant background noise directed at my horse from the steward of ‘dont let him panic’) as my welsh cob, with an overgrown sense if humour, was happily eating the clump of grass he slammed the breaks on for…

Needless to say I wasn’t placed.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

First showing show, in hand. There were two rings, separated by the audience on our side. The next door ring applauded, my pony’s best mate directly in front spooked and went up, so mine thought he should follow suit, beautiful canter pirouette inhand. That was fun. He came first in the cob class and I decided I didn’t want to do the final winners’ round, so went off to load him up on the lorry, but forgot to tell the steward who came pelting over to find me, really quite cross (understandably). Shameful. The horse didn’t like her shouting at me so was trying to twirl round me.

 

[ycbm]

My favourite comment of all time, on a very baby horse who got confused. "Nice one time tempi changes, unfortunately not required at Novice level." ?


.

 

[Nicnac]

The doors opened to the indoor school for me to go in for my test. My mare refused to walk forward and started going backwards, squirting furiously, until she had backed right up to the lovely lifesize stallion model horse outside the show centre's tack shop.

She went on hormone treatment the next day.

 

[blitznbobs]

My favourite comment of all time, on a very baby horse who got confused. "Nice one time tempi changes, unfortunately not required at Novice level." ?


.

Ive had a similar comment about a piaffe passage transition… equally at novice level but in my defence it was in a freestyle ?

 

[Starzaan]

Oh so many.
- forgot a dressage test when I was 12 and my mother threw a dandy brush at my head across the arena
- did a clear round with no boots on - forgot my boots and managed to get away with long black socks somehow.
- had a horse stand bolt upright at X, and the comment from the judge was ‘HORROR!’
- tried to go team chasing with food poisoning. Made three stewards puke as I puked galloping past them. Team mates could be heard yelling ‘stop vomming and KICK ON FOR F***S SAKE!’

 

[Snow Falcon]

Family pony class final walk round, darling pony decided to fart right infront of the judge. We still came 1st?.

Same pony, aged 26, had to taken out of a veteran ridden class for standing on his hind legs.

First dressage test on my horse, a horse exploded in the warm up just as my working canter left commenced. The transition didn't require a buck which left me sitting on the floor. Judges comment at the end "not able to show true paces as a little tense"!

 

[Archangel]

30-something year old welsh B in a ridden veterans class, on the group canter round, saddle slipped a bit forwards, pony shoved her head between her knees and started bucking, then took off and overtook all the ponies and horses in front triggering something of a veterans stampede around the show ring.

That is so funny.

 

[catembi]

Forgot my hat once...had to borrow one from a PC mum...it was a Donald Duck hat with a beak for a peak, eyes on the front & a pom pom on top & I had to jump like that all day.

Forgot my shirt as I was going to put it in the lorry last so it wouldn't get creased...luckily I was wearing a white T shirt & had to duck tape my american collar to it.

Did Novice 25 aaaages ago...entered, halted, saluted...judge rang the bell... WTF? That's a bit early even for me to go wrong...? It was Feb & Novice 25 had been replaced in Jan. The judge lent o/h a test sheet so he could call it & I had to ride it 'blind', going wrong a further twice (I can't tell left from right, especially not when flustered).

Jumping indoors at a venue where I had done lessons fortnightly for about four years. Just rolled a pole in the Disco jump off, was thinking that that wasn't too bad... They rolled the door open for us to exit, bearing in mind that it was a big school, the doors were at M & we were over X... Catembi decided it was the most frightening thing ever, did a spook & spin, dumped me, raced for the door...& instead of shutting the door in his face, the steward just watched him sail through, then he galloped through the warm-up causing carnage & onto the lorry park...

I have also turned up on Sun with Catembi (grey) bathed & plaited for a dr comp that was on the Sat.

 

[Aperchristmas]

My usually angelic veteran boy was feeling unusually exuberant at a local show. I was managing to contain him pretty well in a really beautiful canter so we were doing brilliantly in the Ridden Hunter class looking spirited but classy. That is, until the judge got on him and he carted off with him around the ring several times with his head in the air like a giraffe having the time of his life. I think he was even squealing. We were pulled in last.

To top it all off, the judge made a disparaging comment to some people at the side of the ring about how he couldn't get him under control. My non-horsey Dad had come along to support me overheard and said "well my daughter didn't seem to have any trouble"! I haven't dared show my face again

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Veterans are THEE WORST!!!! Honestly! The older they get the less they give a crap!

I had retired Flint at 22yo from the show ring as he didn't enjoy it any more and he had melanomas on his willy which meant he couldn't put it fully away. At 28yo he looked so good I said sod it and took him to our local show in the other side of the Loch. I thought I would be nice and do the inhand Gelding class and the lead rein class with a borrowed jockey. Well! He jogged rather than walked round the inhand, cantered sideways in his trot up, wouldn't stand still and somehow, God knows how, stood 5th of 9! Well OK he was still and incredibly good example of his breed. So onto the lead rein ... you know lead rein is supposed to be the kid rider and the handler is supposed to have a long loopy rein and only be there in case of an emergency? And lead rein is walk and trot only? Yeah? Nope. Not in Flints world! I was quite literally holding onto his bit ring with 2 fingers through it and the little toad still managed to canter in his individual trot whilst pulling my arms out! The kid on board was having a whale of a time! We came 2nd... and that was not last there were 7 ponies in the class. I apologised profusely to those placed below me ??? in all of this I could not stop laughing! I was so happy to have my beloved boy out again for a last few hurrahs at my local show and he was thoroughly loving life!

I took him out the next week and he was an absolute angel. To the point I got accused of doping him. No one had noticed in all of his shenanigans the previous week that his willy was out then too. They only noticed because he was being well behaved. I retired him for good that day on a 2nd place and Reserve ridden Champion (which the judge himself admitted should have been 1st and Champion but he was railroaded by the steward and another competitor in the ring into believing he was doped).

I've been left on ring ropes before by Shetlands. One of my youngsters used to roll on surfaces (still does at the age of 21 even with a rider on board if he gets too hot) at his first ever show as a yearling I stood him up in front of the judge and he just dropped and rolled right in front of us. How to get yourself remembered in a line up of 17 black yearling Shetlands! Be the one with sawdust in your mane and tail ?? he stood 3rd and highest placed Colt.

Actually most of my most embarrassing moments have been with the Shetlands! ???

 

[Boughtabay]

Oh, I’ve remembered another one. First sj comp on my new warmblood that I had no business riding as a small 11yo coming off said 12.2 catapult sec A. She knew what she was doing & was STRONG, I was pretty clueless & was v weak. We jumped the full course in whichever order & direction she chose at a near gallop & as we careered down the centre of the arena I watched the judge LEAVE THE GLASS BOX in fear that we might launch into it. That was mega embarrassing (& terrifying!) eventually once she decided she’d had enough she stopped dead at the arena entrance and we went straight home ?

 

[Snowfilly]

A steward came over and congratulated me on holding onto and calming down my leaping into the air and squealing Clydesdale, after the first class and said ‘he’s a nice youngster, he’ll be good when he settles down’.’

I had to confess we were there for the veterans class…

 

[Gloi]

I was standing in a lineup on my Fell stallion when the Welsh cob next to him grunted at him. He reared up and my stirrups came off the bars and I ended up standing behind his tail, feet still in the stirrups ,still hold of the reins. Oops

 

[TheChestnutThing]

I got the comment...."Try to get some help" on a prelim dressage test...

 

[Greylegs]

Doing a prelim dressage test on my very food "motivated" highland!! ..... the arena had about a meter of longish grass around it. Got to the bit where it says "change rein at free walk on a long rein" and pony marched across the arena and grabbed a good mouthful of grass before I could shorten my reins to "transition to medium walk". Finished the test looking like Ermintrude the cow with long tufts of grass sticking out of both sides of his mouth!! Left the arena on a long rein, as instructed, passed the judges car, only to see her killing herself with laughter as I passed, with his nibs still munching happily. (we got placed in the test, so not too much of a disaster .......)

 

[sassandbells]

I was doing my first prelim on my old horse, we were just stood at the entrance to the arena as the horse before me was coming out. Horse decided it would be a great time to scratch his head on his leg, and the whole bridle came off. Horse freaked out and we ended up doing about 5 laps of the arena, jumping all the boards before her promptly came to a stop to eat one of the flower boxes. Jumped off and put the bridle back on and did a lovely test, but I was mortified.