What do you do when feeling downhearted about your riding?

Q

Qru

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It's just that I'm feeling very demotivated after a talk with my instructor in which we agreed that I have not made any big improvement in my riding in the last 2 months eventhough I have ridden 5 days a week, every week, for all that time.
My horse still has all his bad habits and I'm just so frustrated that I've been trying my hardest (although most, including my mother, believe that I'm not trying hard enough) and have nothing to show for it.

So, I was just wondering what you guys do when you have days like this? :)
 
...change instructor....

If you are paying her to teach you and you aren't improving despite trying hard and doing as instructed, then she's not worth paying. Add the fact that it sounds as though she is very demotivating and what actual use is she? Did she have any useful suggestions?

I would change instructor, and maybe spend a few weeks hacking and chilling in between.
 
I go for a hack, have a good gallop, enjoy my horse and put a big smile back on my face. Very good for the soul :D
 
I have a large gin and count the positives (had to do this yesterday, rubbish ride!)

In your shoes I'd also try a new instructor, plus lessons on a different horse, plus perhaps one or two schooling sessions for your horse with someone else. It's awfully easy to get into a rut - sometimes you just need to try something new, to get you out of the same bad habits.
 
If you really have been trying your hardest and really have made no progress at all, I'd be looking at getting another instructor with a different approach. As a teacher myself (not of riding I hasten to add!), I'd be seriously worried if I'd been unable to help a pupil of mine make any steps at all towards progress over a period of two months. Everyone's different of course, but I'd be wanting to know clear steps that needed to be taken in order to make progress and if no progress was made I'd be wanting to know the next course of action. I'd also want to know an estimated time scale of when signs of progress would be expected to be seen.

If whatever the problem you and your horse have is expected to take several months to overcome, then maybe it's too early to expect progress. Talk to your instructor again, find out if she/he would have expected more to have happened in the last 2 months. If the answer is yes and she/he doesn't offer ideas on how to make it happen, then start looking around for a different instructor with a fresh appraoch. Good luck and chin up :)
 
Have to agree with somethingornothing, no instructor should make you feel that bad! Give horse a big hug, remember how fantastic it is just to ride for the fun of it without the pressure of trying to please someone else. Tomorrow's another day and a fresh start.

Oops, sorry somethingorother, I'm a dunce!
 
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I'd change instructor too, they are there to inspire and motivate you, not demoralise you, and if no progress is being made then the instructor isn't giving the the instruction that would get past the blocks you feel you have.

After that I agree to go out and have some fun, and knickers to whether your horse is on the bit or tracking up or whatever! Horses are to be enjoyed, improvement will happen with the right instructor. ;)
 
Get a different instructor who works on your confidence, rather than one who tries to convince your mother to spend more for her services!
 
This happened with my last instructor, i would recommend maybe getting a new instructor who is willing to ride your horse and teach you. Let the horse have the first couple of lessons then on you hop with hopefully a new burst of energy and fresh goals that you can achieve which should lift your spirits. Just now i would enjoy having some fun and having a little chill time together.
 
Firstly I'd think of what did go well not just the negative. I'd definitely try a different instructor. If you've both just focused on improvement for 2 months you may both be bored. Personally I'd just go for a nice long gallop, jump anything that got in the way & laugh if my horse had a buck or 2, then come back the next day feeling up for anything.
 
flying solo said:
This happened with my last instructor, i would recommend maybe getting a new instructor who is willing to ride your horse and teach you. Let the horse have the first couple of lessons then on you hop with hopefully a new burst of energy and fresh goals that you can achieve which should lift your spirits. Just now i would enjoy having some fun and having a little chill time together.
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Agree wholeheartedly. "Trying hard enough" sounds a strange phrase to me, but then when I was younger (I learned to ride in the 1970's:eek:) we just didn't take it all so seriously, it was a fun leisure activity. Sounds to me like perhaps you should get those panniers full and go for a fun hack with some friends down the beach - I see you're in Cyprus - and stop being so hard on yourself, I bet your riding is fab!:)
 
Doesn't sound like you're having a good learning experience ATM :(. As the other posters have said take your horse out for a hack and have a bit of fun - that's what it's all about, change instructor - a great teacher makes a great pupil.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

I had a dreadful lesson a couple of weeks ago which has had the whole yard talking about it - especially my epic fall, drag, collision with log fence - I got back on and continued the lesson and since have been having some fun rides out getting to know my pony and ironing out some of his 'spooks'.

:D
 
Oh dear! That's no fun. But I've definately had similar low moments so I can understand how you feel.

Agree with others that I'd try a new instructor. Sometimes they have so much to teach you, then it's time to move on and try different things with different people.

As for the low moments generally, I try to focus on what I like, what I do well, what I enjoy. Agree maybe try a break if flatwork or lessons aren't fun atm and do stuff which is fun for a while. Go for hacks, do some ground work, chill out with your pony. Whatever helps you enjoy your horsey time. Maybe try something new like trec, arena jumping if you're competitive, or whatever takes your fancy.

And remember what things you do well. We're often our own worse enemy in thinking how bad we are, and forgetting how far we've come, what we've achieved or done etc etc. Positive mental attitude and all that :)

Hope things look up for you soon :)
 
Well when JFTD did it I threatened to beat her with a fence post :D.

When I do it I tend to look back on where we have come from as its been a long old journey and he has changed so much in that time so I tell my self I did all the work with him and then try to forget it. Failing that I try to find a video or book to inspire me and then go out armed with new things to try. I havnt had a lesson in about a year now :o although booked for one next week to try help me get out of a rut with his flat work :eek:.

Maybe a break from lessons and just have some time to enjoy your horse, go hacking and have a laugh you must have some really nice rides where you are.
 
I gave up when I realised I would never improve. I just go for the odd walk/trot hack now as it's all I can manage and shouldn't ruin my horse.
 
dafthoss said:
Well when JFTD did it I threatened to beat her with a fence post :D.
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Huh, I was just going to say, I whine on facebook until dafthoss threatens to assault me with fence posts :cool: Btw, I had the bestest little mini-hack with F today :)

I definitely think you need an instructor who is not only honest (credit to your instructor being honest with you, tbf) but is also motivating. Or to give your current instructor the opportunity to try and motivate you / help you design an action plan - I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt and hoping that they weren't aware of how you're feeling now!

And sometimes a change of tack can be extremely helpful... eta- I mean direction not tack as in the stuff you put on the pony!
 
Whoop see you can do it :D But I'm not leaving my fence post at home just yet :cool:.

I just booked an actual lesson on the pony for next week :eek:
 
oooh who with, what y'doing? :D exciting times!

Haha I know I can get him from a to b without major disasters really, I just hate feeling nervous and worrying about "will he spook at that" / what if we meet people shooting... Today was like nothing mattered, no fear, even when he was titting about (in fairness, he's never seen an apiarist before!).

I also managed a lovely yell of "don't let him do that" coupled to me turning back, walking away and making him walk past the bins repeatedly until he didn't spook at them... All witnessed by some bemused looking cyclists :p


Sorry OP, I'm thread hijacking as usual :o
 
:eek:
JFTD said:
oooh who with, what y'doing? :D exciting times!

Haha I know I can get him from a to b without major disasters really, I just hate feeling nervous and worrying about "will he spook at that" / what if we meet people shooting... Today was like nothing mattered, no fear, even when he was titting about (in fairness, he's never seen an apiarist before!).

I also managed a lovely yell of "don't let him do that" coupled to me turning back, walking away and making him walk past the bins repeatedly until he didn't spook at them... All witnessed by some bemused looking cyclists :p


Sorry OP, I'm thread hijacking as usual :o
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Ha ha!!! I'm having some serious spooking problems with my mare out hacking at the moment and took her out in hand the other day. I didn't notice there were two cyclists right behind me when I was saying in a very babyish voice to my mare "Come on now my little poppet, mummy's legs are getting very tired!"
 
Moomin1 said:
:eek:

Ha ha!!! I'm having some serious spooking problems with my mare out hacking at the moment and took her out in hand the other day. I didn't notice there were two cyclists right behind me when I was saying in a very babyish voice to my mare "Come on now my little poppet, mummy's legs are getting very tired!"
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Oh dear god, that's embarassing :eek:

I'm more likely to get reported for abuse, tbh... Either abusing my poor horse who was only scared of the recycling bags (because they're not nearly identical to the bags he steals haylage out of!) or yelling abuse at strangers (what does she expect us to do about her pony being a tit? :mad:)

:D
 
Stressage at the local stressage centre :eek: trying to get out of the rut we are in flat work wise.

Ha I love the immage of you shouting at your self :D Its when your mate starts lunging the sit on lawnmower as a p take that you know they have been watching you round horses to long :cool:.
 
I can honestly say that's never happened to me :p I have lunged dogs though... Mind you, I was standing on the mound in my field in the pitch black doing Davros impersonations and commanding my Dalek-dog around the field / exterminating him at random. Sanity is not my strongest skill...

I hope you're taking a photographer? I wish to see the yellow pony poncing :p
 
Ha you are so random! :D Would love to know what any one going down the by way thought was going on.

Yes the mothership has been booked in and I booked it on her day off :D so cameras will be charged (and batteries installed :p) and photos will be ordered :D
 
Jolly good :p Only a real idiot would forget the batteries though :rolleyes: :D

I suspect if there were any witnesses, the men in white coats will have been called and will be on my trail as we speak :eek: :D
 
I'd leave of schooling for a while and enjoy riding my horse. Then a new instructor, who, if you don't mind someone riding your horse, will get on and show you
 
somethingorother said:
...change instructor....

If you are paying her to teach you and you aren't improving despite trying hard and doing as instructed, then she's not worth paying. Add the fact that it sounds as though she is very demotivating and what actual use is she? Did she have any useful suggestions?

I would change instructor, and maybe spend a few weeks hacking and chilling in between.
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This...in full... :)

When it comes to confidence I'm at the bottom of the pile... I had a lovely lesson on Sunday... Did we do anything particularly wonderful or make great strides in riding ability? Er, no... But there was a baby step of improvement and the instructor made me feel 10' tall, totally motivated and proud of myself... Even not being able to move properly the next day felt worth it...:)
 
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