What not to say in the collecting ring

I think its extremely rude. I think people on here have been rude too. In fact I think they enjoy it.
From my humble pov the worst thing about the horsey world is that everyone knows best, not just that, their way is the only way and everyone else will benefit from that advice, if they don't advise, they criticise and backstab. I hope I don't do it but surrounded by this behaviour I possibly do.
Horsey world is also very friendly. If we combined that friendship with actually being nice to each other it would be a great place, we and our horses would surely benefit.
Or have I had a glass of wine too many on a Saturday night? xx
 
Interested to hear how the lady reacted when uou disagreed with her advice OP... I think this kind of thing is very hard to interpret written on a forum when we don't have the tone and so forth... Was it advice/criticism/general chat about different approaches/she was worried you couldn't physically fold more? We can't really tell. And at the end of the day, whilst she is responsible for her actions she isn't responsible for your feelings, different people react very differently at different times!
 
Most I say to someone if I am commenting on their riding is "wish I had your skill/you did really well there".

You just don't go up to people and tell them what they are doing wrong. It's rude and uncalled for.
 
I would find it a bit odd that someone would offer advice uninvited but personally I wouldn't take it as rude, I would just think she was trying to help and didn't know any better. Maybe she thought because it was the collecting ring that everyone warming up helps each other or something weird like that. Like others have said, much worse things can be said! Her intentions might have been supportive rather than critical. I would just move on OP, its just her misunderstanding, nothing more.
 
I agree OP- I would find it rude (even though the lady may not have intended it that way!!). It's one thing to quietly mention something to a judge/steward if someone's riding or conduct is abusive or inappropriate, but that sort of unsolicited comment is just unnecessary!
Having been through PC and have dealt with many a PC mother I'm fairly thick skinned and have got used to brushing off all sorts of veiled comments- but I can easily understand how it can make people feel undermined and intimidated. Competing can be stressful at the best of times, the last thing you need is a running commentary from people you don't know / haven't asked advice from!!
I find its best just to laugh it off and ignore them- as long as you feel you are riding your best and your horse is responding well, that's what matters !
Most bizarre comment I ever had was a girl who basically rode me off the track and promptly asked why I hadn't "bothered" to turn out properly and pull my horses mane? Always found that a strange one! I didn't find it offensive- was more just surprised she felt it was her place / business to comment ?? (Pony in question was a beautiful native anyway ;) )
 
I think it's incredibly rude, and if I did feel the need to comment on someone's riding I would certainly be phrasing it completely differently.
 
ThursdayNext said:
Interested to hear how the lady reacted when uou disagreed with her advice OP... I think this kind of thing is very hard to interpret written on a forum when we don't have the tone and so forth... !
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She just kind of grunted and said 'oh', then went back to helping her grown-up daughter. There were no smiles or anything like that. Then a few minutes later, just before I went in the ring later she made what I can only call from her tone and facial expression a snide remark about my pony - I won't repeat it, as I agree with the poster who commented that it is well nigh impossible to judge tone and sense from the written word in a forum and I do not want to provoke another discussion of whether she was really being nice.

I have moved on, in fact I moved on with minutes of the incident. I know she and her daughter have had problems with their horse, though he went well that day. I think maybe there was a tiny bit of envy and just a hint of gamesmanship.
 
helenchat said:
Most bizarre comment I ever had was a girl who basically rode me off the track and promptly asked why I hadn't "bothered" to turn out properly and pull my horses mane? Always found that a strange one! I didn't find it offensive- was more just surprised she felt it was her place / business to comment ?? (Pony in question was a beautiful native anyway ;) )
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Off topic but -- I had a very similar conversation a few years ago with a judge, in an RC Horse/Pony class, who put us right at the bottom. She came up to me at the end and said 'I placed you last because unlike the others you didn't make the effort to plait up.' So I replied 'He is a connie' and the judge said 'Oh, fair enough' and walked away!
 
Sounds like it could have been a bit of gamesmanship if you were in direct competition with her daughter. Nothing too awful but a little comment to niggle at you in the hope it might affect your concentration and performance in the ring. Not something I would do but have come across it often enough
 
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